neomails *new #68 Theme Song#67 Movie Fun

[neowhyachi]

Comming this december

New Character bios page and i will bring back the easter eggs in the classic neomails.  Keep track of the easter egg resteration by watching this number----------------->0%

Email summaries for easy reference for all things that are neowhyachi.

#1 2-for-1:  Neowhyachi reveals what is his favorite leg and cheats on his income taxes.

#2 When animals attack:  Neowhyachi shows us how easy it is to do a 90 ft ski jump onto an unsuspecting grandma and gets attacked by a trained seal.

#3 Role Call: We get to meet neowhyachi's new "additional characters". Then they all head to Depressio's house to see if neo is related to That_Goblin.

#4  Cobbler: Neowhyachi reveals his role model then he and the neomails crew head to subway.

#5 Wacky Whyachi: neo and Mr. Teatime put together their own radio show.  We hear scoobysnack's band for the first time and Homsar Guest Stars.

#6: Food Fun:  We learn neowhyachi's favorite food and just how far food science can go.

#7 N-Zone: neowhyachi puts on a reality show that no real television network would approve of.

#8 Spazz:  We learn what music the Barf Tounges play and Scoobysnacks get's voted as the new Spaz of the group, and grandma's got a chainsaw.

#9 Dictionary:  neowhyachi shows us what lurks within the new Neo-dictionary.  Vikesfan asks for a raise and gets sent to the Smelly Taco room.

#10 Magic:  Scoobysnacks gets sued for copyright infringement again.  neowhyachi accidentally lights vikesfan on fire.  Oh the good times we had.

#11 Tall Tale: neowhyachi steals SB_Sonics computer and then tells the most elaborate lie in human history to cover his tracks.

#12 Soap Opera: neo and the gang get together to make the ultimate soap opera.

#13 Hatly Origins: Neowhyachi and SB_Sonic record neo's answering machine message and then we learn the secret origins of neo's hat.

#14 Basketball: Neowhyachi tells us what sports goblins are good at.  Scoobysnacks has his first public show. Wooo!!

#15 Time Travel:  Neowhyachi travels back in time and finds out there are consequences for his actions.

#16 Secret Agent: Neowhyachi and the gang have breakfast and then he reveals the details of his upcoming spy action thriller movie. [s][/s]

[neowhyachi]

#1 two-for-one

neowhyachi walks up to his computer a Dell 4600 with a 64 inch plasma screen and surround sound.  He takes off his hat and press something on the inside and the super computer fades away to a normal compy.

neowhyachi: A guy can dream can't he??  Let's get started.

run_neomails.notthematrixguy


Dear Neo guy,

What is your favorite leg?

Sincerly
Someone


neowhyachi: Hmmm a very valid question.  I would have to say my favorite leg is  this one.  Well that email didn't break any humor barriers so I'll do another one.


runna_thatnexta.1

Dear NeOmAn
  If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

- H*G


neowhyachi: Hmmmm a very deep and profound question mr. Astrixed-unecessary-CaPiToLiZaTiOn-G-man.

There's only one thing I can think of that'd I love to do.  Something extremly illegal and would cheese off the government to no end.......................................................lie on my income taxes muhaha ha ha (W2)

Well that was a good first run.  See you all later.



<<Please PM or email neowhyachi at neowhyachi@yahoo.com>>

[vikesfan81]

Nice neomail neowhyachi! I can't wait to see your future works.

[Mr. Teatime]

bit short, but still quite funny. I liked the "old righty" picture.

[neowhyachi]

#2 When Animals Attack

neowhyachi sits at his computer.

neowhyachi: Hmm I wonder


run_takeovertheworld.me

bad command or file name

alright how about

i'm_kingoftheworld.badmoviequote

all hail king of the losers

Hey shut up!! I made and I can destroy you.

run_pleaseletmetakeovertheworldwithsugarontop.newlow

no can do


Hmmmm  I guess that's three strikes and I'm out.  How does one cope with three unsucessful attempts at world domination without leaving his chair??  Oh ya he checks his email.

run_mymail.exe


Dear Neowhyfreakinlongname,

What's the biggest injury you've every gotten, tell us so that I can laught at your pain! I mean...er...

Sincerely, Mr. Teatime


Ah I see you're one of those people that laughs at others pain.  Well I have just given your email address to one Wily E. Coyote.

Anyways here's my top three greatest injuries.

#3 The time I tried to create a new olympic sport "90 ft ski jump onto an unsuspecting grandma  I missed and she nearly beat me to death with her purse.

#2 Another prototype new olympic sport "Demolition Bobsleds" I don't quite remember what happened but the Doctors and Nurses said I was pretty messed up.

and......

#1 The time I put on a magic show and got attacked by the trained seal I pulled out of my hat.   You can see it all on this upcoming television special

Well I hope you enjoyed my pain.  I know I didn't.

Well until next time. That's it.

Man these emails are moving slower then I thought with just me.   I need some henchmen, or as they prefer to be called "additional characters" stupid unions.


If you'd like to have a neomail answered please email me at neowhyachi@yahoo.com or PM me


P.S. I've already chosen my "additional Characters" so please don't email or PM me about wanting to be one. Thanks,

The Mangament

[Homestar Golfer]

...#3 The time I tried to create a new olympic sport "90 ft ski jump onto an unsuspecting grandma  I missed and she nearly beat me to death with her purse.

I have never laughed so hard..

IN

MY

LIFE!!

I thought that that picture of the grandma was priceless! 9.9/9.9999

[ACPigeon]

Whew, man. Those injuries were freakin' great! Falling on a grandma... priceless!

[Homestar Golfer]

Note the changed sig. Friggin hilarious, Neo, friggin hilarious!

[scoobysnacks]

These emails are so funny I cant wait for the next one.

[That_Goblin]

That was pretty-pretty good. (Has anyone noticed that I say that alot?)

Anyways, great jearb, neowhyachi!

T_G

[ChocolateMetal]

Sooooo grood! I think I'll send you something.

[vikesfan81]

These are great!!!! The most hilarious E-Mail thread, beside SB's, I have ever read! That's my opinion at least.

[neowhyachi]

#3 Role Call  part 1


neowhyachi: Okay let's do an "additional character" role call. If you're here say here after I say your name and a brief description of your character.  Scoobysnacks.  The guy that lives across the street and is attempting to start his own band "The Barf Tounges"

Scoobysnacks: Here.

neowhyachi: Mr. Teatime the semi-immortal soul surviving member of the Boston Tea Party.

Mr. Teatime: Here.

neowhyachi: Vikesfan81 the pet store owner who lives next door.  Hmmmm let's make this more simplistic and take off the 81.

Vikesfan81: Taking away my numbers is like taking away a piece of my soul man!!

Vikesfan runs from the room crying.

neowhyachi: Did I just not say. Say "here" if you are here??  Okay finally my old roomate Super SB_Sonic who got kicked out due to violating apartment rules.

SB_Sonic: I brought in a plant.  A plastic plant!!

neowhyachi: But like our landlord said. Plants attract bugs even plastic ones because bugs are stupid.

SB_Sonic: Well I think the landlord is stupid.

neowhyachi: Okay onto the email.  You guys go wander around aimlessly until I need you.

Scoobysnacks: What if we have something to aim for while wandering around??

neowhyachi: Hey you leave you're aimful wanderings for when you're off the clock.

run_neomails.exe

Hey neowhyachi,

Judging by that avatar of yours, I'd say you have some type of relationship/connection with That_Goblin. Can you go into a little more detail about this? Many of us are curious.

-Depressio


neowhyachi: You know I've always wondered that too.  And there's only one way to find out for sure.  To the transportation room!!!!!!


neowhyachi, SB_Sonic, Scoobysnacks, and Mr. Teatime all scramble into a room in the back of the apartment.

neowhyachi: Okay I just gotta set the cordinates for where-ever it is that Depressio in.

SB_Sonic: You don't know where he lives??

neowhyachi: Nope but I don't know how to set this thing either so there's  a pretty good chance we'll end up where he lives or somewhere else.

SB_Sonic: So uhhh what is this thing. Some kinda escape pod or teleportation device??

neowhyachi: You remember that time I bought that circus cannon on Ebay?

SB_Sonic: Oh no!!!!!

The cannon blasts them off.

[neowhyachi]

Role Call part 2


Many miles away in Depressio's house Depressio is talking to Jim Grim.


Depressio: Hey have you seen Clonepressio around here lately.

Jim Grim: Don't you remember you sent him to Mexico two days ago to buy some milk.

Depressio:  Oh ya.

neowhyachi and the others suddenly crash through the roof and land on Jim Grim.

Jim Grim: Owww.

neowhyachi: Hey I did set it for the right place.

Depressio: Hello and thanks for giving me the free sky light.

neowhyachi: You're quite welcome.  

That_Goblin walks up and gives neowhyachi a fruit drink.

neowhyachi: Thanks.  Okay onto business we'll have to figure out if me and That_Goblin are somehow related.  A DNA sample should suffice.  You got anything that can do that.

Depressio: No. But Fun_Timey does.

Fun_Timey: No I don't

Depressio: So make one.

Fun_Timey walks off to make the device.

neowhyachi: Okay you guys go off and wonder around aimlessly some more.  

SB_Sonic: Why??

neowhyachi: Because I haven't thought of  more constructive ways to put you guys to use.

SB_Sonic: Oh.

Depressio: Jim Grim join them in their aimless wonderings.

Jim Grim: What are you guys going to do??

neowhyachi: Watch TV.

Depressio, That_Goblin and neowhyachi sit down on Depressio's couch to watch TV.

neowhyachi: You wanna watch "The Young and Extremly Depressing?"

Depressio: Nah I don't get that channel. Besides there's a documentary on the History channel I wanna watch.

Narrorator(on the Documentary):  We now return to "The Sash. From Miss America contestants to some creepy guy who answers his emails for all to enjoy"  The sash has been a come and go fashion statement for centuries and it's only two known enemies are the shirt and changing fashion trends.

neowhyachi: Boring. (Looks through tv guide) Hey let's watch this

Fun_Timey then walks up with the extraction and sampling device

neowhyachi screams and That_Goblin shakes in fear.  But the cotton swab thingees are the only things that do anything and rub the insides of their mouths.

neowhyachi: That's all you needed?? Then why all the other stuff.

Fun_Timey: I don't know.  I did use Depressio's overly complex simple math formula in the design maybe that has something to do with that.  Ahhh the results are in.   It seems neowhyachi, Depressio, and That_Goblin are all brothers.

all three: Gasp!!

Fun_Timey: Oh wait I read that wrong.  Depressio and That_Goblin are still brothers but neowhyachi is the son of That_Goblin's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roomate.

neowhyachi: So what's that make us?

Fun_Timey: Absolutly nothing.

neowhyachi: Well that mysteries solved.  Now for the next one.

Depressio: Which is??

neowhyachi: How the heck are we gonna get home?

If you'd like a neomail answered please email neowhyachi at neowhyachi@yahoo.com or PM me

[Depressio]

*claps* AWESOME jaerb there. I laughed out loud'd at the part about the sash documentary. Definately greatness potential in this thread, man. Keep up the good everythings.