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PokéHomsar
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Here’s Part 10! Or at least part of it…
THE SUPER PEOPLE Part 10: DIVIDED TOGETHER, TORN APART!
*It has been months, everybody’s covered in dust, cobwebs are everywhere, but PokeHomsar’s glasses have Windshield Wiper Specs® compatibility. He’s staring at the door, as it finally opens completely. Everybody besides PokeHomsar is asleep or on stand-by.*
PokeHomsar-EVERYBODY WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!
*Everybody wakes up or boots up. Ditto Machine sucks up dust and cobwebs with vacuum arm.*
The Wolf-Hasn’t it been months?
PH-Yes, it has, Wolfos.
TW-What?
*PokeHomsar puts a Gamecube copy of “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess” behind his back.*
PH (with shifty eyes)-Oh, nothing…
Gafaddict-I got some things done over the course of the past few months, but those errands took only 0.0000000001 nanoseconds, if that.
S.S. Homeskater-What did you do?
*Gafaddict puts “The Screamer” painting, a file called “OJ Evidence,” pictures to prove the existence of Adam and Eve, and picture to prove how the dinosaurs went extinct behind his back.*
G (with shifty eyes)-Oh, nothing…
PH-Man, I could of introduced two new characters during that time!
Ditto Machine-Didn’t…
*The Ditto Machine is cut off.*
PH-AND I DID!!!!!!!!!!
*In come StrongBadJinzo and Elina_Blossomwing.*
PH-StrongBadJinzo is my alter ego from another dimension, the “Bizarro” PokeHomsar, if you will. He should be evil, in accordance to “Bizarro” rules, but I put a chip in his brain.
StrongBadJinzo-WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
*PokeHomsar brings out the Millennium Rod. A weird symbol appears on StrongBadJinzo’s head.*
PH-Shut up, mind slave!
SBJ (with a mindless facial expression and accent)-Yes, master.
PH-Don’t try this at home, kids. A public service from PokeHomsar. Moving on… StrongBadJinzo, I’m giving you the power of super strength. For this task, you’ll need Samson’s hair, the Power Boots®, the Power Suit®, Balmung (infinite Poke Yen to whoever gets this reference,) the Power Gauntlets®, the Helm of Power®, the Trident of Poseidon, the Shield of Perseus, and the Perseus Power Boot Upgrade®, which allow your Power Boots super-speed and flight while you where them. You’ll also need a specially made Infina-Cube®.
*PokeHomsar gives StrongBadJinzo the above items.*
SBJ (without symbol on forehead, expression, or accent)-Thanks!
PH-Moving on… Elina_Blossomwing is an elf princess that Geringadono let go for some reason…
Elina_Blossomwing-I wonder what that reason could be…
PH-Maybe because you didn’t weren’t in this universe until a few months ago? And we saved you from utter death at the hands of an evil tyrant?
E_B-Maybe…
PH-As y’all can tell by now, she’s slightly sarcastic. Moving on… You get the Avatar Band®, which gives you the ability to manipulate all 4 forms of nature form the show Avatar: The Last Airbender, except the water one…
E_B-Why?
PH (with Snoop Dog’s accent)-‘Cuz I’m da wazzle maniplzzle herezzle, yozzle!
E_B-OK…
PH-Moving on… I substituted the water in this black arm band for electricity/lightning/thunder bending. Here.
*PokeHomsar gives the Avatar Band® and a specially made Infina-Cube® to Elina_Blossomwing.*
PH-Now, you two, go train in the Advanced Hyperbolic Time Chamber®. It’ll only take you like ten seconds.
*They leave. Ten seconds later, they return.*
PH-Time to go through the door!
*They all go through the door happily, only to be immediately met by Geringadono.*
TheMuntaMan-AHH!!!!!!!!!! It’s the villain we haven’t seen much of, but he’s too evil for words.
PH (under his breath to TheMuntaMan, whilst waving the Millennium Rod)-Don’t make me give you a mind crush. ‘Cuz I will!
*TheMuntaMan literally buttons his lip.*
Geringadono-Now… For your imminent death! You all must compete in 19 one-right-after-the-other challenges!
That Wheely Chair-What’s the catch?
G-Who said there was a catch?
PH-Umm… I bet you’ll inter…
G-I DID!!!!!!!!!! The number of challenges equals the total members of the PokE-mail Posse! Only one person can do each challenge and the person you select is lost for use in any other challenges! You get one “bye” for the challenges, but you still must sacrifice a member. If the challenges are all completed, you will all be reunited, but only if you win all 19! Choose wisely in your picks of who to do the challenges because every single one was made for a specific member! BWA HA HA HA!
*Geringadono disappears in a cloud of black and purple smoke. The door at the end of the hall unlocks. They all enter, and run into an invisible wall.*
Evil Announcer (in D&D geek accent)-Challenge #1 is a large rock blocking your path. Who shalt you send in?
*PokeHomsar analyzes the rock substance with his Computer Clip® computer. The rock substance is called Samsonite.*
PH (in Ash Ketchum)-I choose you, StrongBadJinzo!
SBJ-Why?
PH-The rock is made of Samsonite, which probably means only someone with Samson’s hair can move it! Lift it or punch it, whichever you prefer!
*StrongBadJinzo is sucked into the other side of the invisible wall by black magic. He punches the wall a few times, and it explodes. StrongBadJinzo has a cartoonish-something-exploded-in-his-face-hair-and-face-charred look.*
EA (in Bob Barker accent)-Congratulations! You’ve passed Challenge #1! StrongBadJinzo, come on down!
SBJ-What? *Falls through pit that appears under him.* AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *Pit closes.*
PH-What did you do to him?
EA (in Mr. T accent)-I pity the foo’ who don’t understand the rules! The winning challenger is put in a containment chamber in the jail area! Next challenge!
*The door at the end of the hall unlocks and the invisible wall disappears. They enter the next door reluctantly. By now you now the spiel, so I’m not going to keep repeating it.*
EA (in movie preview announcer accent)-In a world where Challenge #2 is to complete the Nintendo Gallery, one man/woman must overcome impossible odds to defeat an Easter egg in an award winning video game in one play-through. Who is this man or woman?
PH-Oh, crap…
1337strongbad-What is it?
PH-The Nintendo Gallery is from the game “The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.” Of all the side-quests in all the “Legend of Zelda” game, this has to be the hardest of them all. I barely beat it. You have to take a color pictograph of all characters in the game to complete the Nintendo Gallery. Some of them are difficult to take, especially the cyclone toad. You have to take his pictograph while spinning in his cyclone! It took me two play-throughs to do it, too. The Wolf, you’re on deck.
TW-Why me?
PH-I don’t know… Maybe it’s because THIS IS YOUR SUPERPOWER!!!!!!!!!!
*The Wolf is sent in. Cue Final Jeopardy music. HOURS LATER… The Wolf did it.*
TW-I didn’t even get an in-progress montage!
PH (in LittleKuriboh accent)-Who do you think you are, Rocky Balboa?
EA (in “Wario Land 4” accent)-Bye, bye! Dun, dun, duh!
*The Wolf falls through a pit. Generic movement scene.*
EA (in a Yoda accent)-For challenge #3, watch all movies, T.V. specials, episodes of shows with references, and anything else Star Wars related, you must! Fall asleep, you mustn’t do! Send out the challenger, you must.
PH-TheMuntaMan, this is your specialty. I’ll need to give you some supplies. Here. *Gives TheMuntaMan a backpack filled with five gallons of water, a bottle of caffeine pills, a worm-hole device that redirects to a toilet, a bottle of 50,000 calorie pills, some clothing pins, and sugar, lots of sugar.* You’re going to up for quite awhile, BLEEP years, BLEEP months, BLEEP days, BLEEP hours, BLEEP minutes, and BLEEP seconds to be exact (I didn’t try to calculate it, AT ALL.) *Gives every other non-robot earplugs, air mattresses, blankets, pillows, and Hibernation Pills® to let them sleep for the duration of the challenge.* We’re going to catch up on our sleep. We’ll have the non-humans keep watch in shifts to make sure you don’t fall asleep. Oh, yeah! Take my Electroshock Suit®, which I developed for final exam students, college student all-nighters, and such. It’ll keep you up, as it shocks you every .04 nanoseconds with a small enough voltage to wake-up the tired.
*Some time later… TheMuntaMan wins.*
EA (in Sensei-type talk)-You have won, unhonorable TheMuntaMan-san. I will enjoy this pitfall of yours. *Announcer says “Bye!” but in Japanese.)
END OF PART 1 OF MORE THAN 1!!!!!!!!!!
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