Pages: 1 [2] 3
|
 |
|
Author
|
Topic: Odd Creatures (At last the 12th Chapter) (Read 1268 times)
|
|
homstar
|
Keep it up!
idea: 7/10 Story: 9/10 Detail: 8.5/10 Genre: Drama Rating: [PG]
Overall: 8.6/10
PM me for advanced rating.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:07 pm by -1 »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
ChocolateMetal
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +55/-3
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 608
The Gray Menace
|
Well, chapters 7 and 8 are here.
(All together now...)
EVERYBODY GO READ!
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by 1096606800 »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
HomeStarRunnerTron
|
Oh man... still awexome! Fav Quotes: "Stwong Bad! Come quick! The Cheat has become a weal boy!" "The whole super meat clip" "On her toenails. And then the bars of the cage." "Madame X: Why, Strong Mad, why? Don't even try. You'll only die. Tapioca: I'll make a rhubarb pie! The birds are in the sky!" "This is my nephew, Dietrich Jammerhetjua. He has 'cheatitis', a very rare and fatal disease that causes you to get all fuzzy and yellow and spotty and be a squeaky guy. He only has a…a few months, and…" "Salutatorians, little Johnnybert," "Teen rock stars have the biggest dreams But all they ever achieve is Coke. They always have the biggest dreams They always have the biggest screams Teen rock stars have the biggest dreams But all they ever achieve is Coke Free Coke Free Coke Backstage Doing a commercial for Coke." "It's funny because it's true…I think," "You're under arrest for being named after pudding!" "I DON'T WANNA BE IN A PIE!!" Fav Pic: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v132/kookybloo/SMfairy.png(LOLOLOL!) Rating: 10/10 (Man, fanfics have been awexome lately.) Seriously Can't Wait For More, HSRT
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by 1096606800 »
|
Logged
|
PotP: This story's awesome! Can't wait till it's finished! HSRT: Well, if you kill me, I can't finish it, now can I? PotP: Oh...well, I guess not... Spinister Spy
|
|
|
ChocolateMetal
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +55/-3
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 608
The Gray Menace
|
Heh, glad the fairy didn't cause you too much psychological damage, HSRT.
And now, a PM from RClock:
Re: (No subject) on: Today at 1:06am
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I puttered on over as fast as my catatonic dial-up would allow, and I was much impressed! I have a hard time putting thoughts in coherent order, so I'll just write down my train of alleged thought: First of all, there was some utter brilliance in #7. Having Strong Bad pretending that The Cheat is his son with a rare disease is one of those things that I never thought of, but makes perfect sense in hindsight. And I see you've jumped on the Senor Cardgage bandwagon. A circus bum, huh? Perfect role for him. I've been on ferris wheels operated by guys like that. What gutterpit do they shovel those creeps out of? And using Homsar intelligently... bravo! Way too many people use Homsar as a crutch. And I really liked Homeschool being this little pansy that is horsewhipped into doing anything. From his little box. Portable wuss! But then I got to #8, and, well, I got thrown. Sure it was wacky and funny in lots of parts, but very haunting. You don't need to be a psychologist to figure out what fears and hopes are represented here. Clowns are good for an unconventional fear factor. Stephen King knew that, and so do you. And you really captured the disjointedness of dreams. Were you listening to John Lennon songs or something while writing? And then of course the big finish where the horror of the dream is past, but reality is still in doubt. Will the villains catch up? Will our unconventional couple stay together? Will Strong Bad resort to boosting ratings with a show about Homestar bellowing at the camera about playing practical jokes? It makes me want to sing, but I can't sing. Keep typing, girlfriend. I'm aching to see how this all ties together. Now if only the Olympic band could play my national anthem properly, I'll be happy. P.S. That nightmare reminded me greatly of part of a story that's kind of been half-noodling around my half-drafts for awhile. It's based on an old Groo the Wanderer story, and it involves Strong Mad horrified with guilt because he thinks he ate The Cheat by mistake (long story). Maybe I'll do that story properly someday...
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by 1096606800 »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
ChocolateMetal
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +55/-3
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 608
The Gray Menace
|
Chapter 9 is here, it's not as good as most, but, well, read it anyway!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
RClock
2005 Art Contest Winner
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +76/-7
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 612
Fear my gingery WRATH!
|
SPOILERS herein. Read the story first!)
Alright, peoples. Let's rationalize.
No, that's boring. Let's gush.
One thing that struck me immediately is that the tone has risen back to the lightness it had in the earlier chapters. You did a good job of seamlessly rising back from the more heavy-handed dream sequence; it doesn't feel like two totally different stories patched together or anything.
In fact, this chapter is one of the more light and fun chapters. After the drama of escaping the cage and releasing the sideshow freaks (and thus the immediate threat of death and imprisonment) has passed, the affair actually soars to the level of screwball comedy. The whole disguise sequence had me laughing out loud (what is it with characters impersonating themselves that makes me laugh so?), and I actually could hear Benny Hill's saxophone music playing during all of the running around. (That's a good thing, in case you're wondering) And you even made the time for a SHOW-STOPPING MUSICAL NUMBER! Always a good decision.
The characters are still themselves. Tapioca makes a strong lead without being omnipotent or overly-capable; I like how you made her capable and smart without showing up everybody (I HATE when writers do that). Just little stuff like that MacGuyver-ish burst of inspiration with the caustic gruel on the bars makes me smile. And dealing with the villain by kicking dirt in her face - that's what happens in the real world sometimes, instead of a 2-hour machine-gun duel.
Strong Mad really comes across well, much better than most authors allow him. If all you write Strong Mad as is a big loud moron who breaks stuff, it's not gonna do much for the story. But showing that there actually is a heart underneath all of that without altering the fundamental character makes for really rewarding characterization.
And good old Strong Bad does what he does best; tagging along being a self-opinionated pain without really helping much. That's just Strong Bad for you.
And just in case that somehow wasn't enough, we've got Homsar quoting Jabberwocky. Case closed, this story rocks.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: October 05, 2004, 07:40:06 pm by RClock »
|
Logged
|
I was a Poopsmith's Assistant in a gulch full of people and I offered myself to the world.
|
|
|
|
HomeStarRunnerTron
|
Chapter 9 is here, it's not as good as most, but, well, read it anyway!
Not as good as most? NEVER! This was awexome! I love how they escape, the blinding rage comment, and the whole musical part, I've known about that for a while.  I definetely wasn't expecting it to be like that! Good jorb! 10/10'd! *head blows up again* ...... I think I lost my glasses!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PotP: This story's awesome! Can't wait till it's finished! HSRT: Well, if you kill me, I can't finish it, now can I? PotP: Oh...well, I guess not... Spinister Spy
|
|
|
|
|
RClock
2005 Art Contest Winner
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +76/-7
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 612
Fear my gingery WRATH!
|
Well! I must say that blindsided me. It really did. At first I thought it was just a wacky diversion, but suddenly we get thrown head-first into the plot! I like it! Did I mention this story keeps taking me by surprise? I keep thinking "yeah, I think I can guess how this turns out" and get proven wrong again and again! I love it! It's loads of fun. Standard "ChocolateMetal and her literature in general rock" disclaimer applies.
And something tells me I'm going to love Chapter 11. Just a hunch.
And here I thought I was the only person who liked chewing on fiberglass insulation. I mean... uh...
Forget I said that.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I was a Poopsmith's Assistant in a gulch full of people and I offered myself to the world.
|
|
|
|
HomeStarRunnerTron
|
Oh MAN... that was AWEXOME! Man, Madame X is everywhere... heh, insane restaurant workers... a race neck at sorta neck, Strong Mad eating through fiberglass... what more could you want? ... well, another chapter! 
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PotP: This story's awesome! Can't wait till it's finished! HSRT: Well, if you kill me, I can't finish it, now can I? PotP: Oh...well, I guess not... Spinister Spy
|
|
|
EYE-Pod
Rather Dashing
  
Karma: +72/-37
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 926
|
Oh man that was really cool! I can't wait till the next chapter.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
ChocolateMetal
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +55/-3
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 608
The Gray Menace
|
Chapter 11 is up, read read read!
(It's much better than Chapter 10, I promise.)
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
RClock
2005 Art Contest Winner
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +76/-7
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 612
Fear my gingery WRATH!
|
Dang, that rocked. No, really. I'm still reeling. Everything's building into something extraordinary... I can feel it! And those Ung slaves are just too much! This ought to be a good! No, not a good. THE good!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I was a Poopsmith's Assistant in a gulch full of people and I offered myself to the world.
|
|
|
ChocolateMetal
Totally Awexome Member
 
Karma: +55/-3
Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 608
The Gray Menace
|
Chapter 12 is here, after almost a year. Why not read it?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
HomeStarRunnerTron
|
HAHA! Yes! Sweet sweet new chapter! Good to see Odd Creatures back again. My review will come... well, not shortly, because I'm about to leave for school. It'll come. Thank you sooo much, Choco! Missed this awesome fanfiction.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
PotP: This story's awesome! Can't wait till it's finished! HSRT: Well, if you kill me, I can't finish it, now can I? PotP: Oh...well, I guess not... Spinister Spy
|
|
|
|
Pages: 1 [2] 3
|
|
|
|