Depressio's Sadmail

[Depressio]

Sadmails #s 1-50
French Bands - Depressio gives advice on band names while getting sued by the Poopsmith.

Icon - That icon under Depressio's name gets acknowledgement and explanation.

Typo - Some insight into the quirks of the sbemails...and Sonic the Hedgehog stops by.

Constrast - Depressio helps FatDudley differenciate between the different Homestar Runners while debunking rumors about his hat.

Average Day - A day in the life of Depressio, as told through interpretive IMs!

Birthday Fishes - FatDudley shows up again, as does some sort of fish beast in a party hat.

Aimee - Depressio's middle name revealed!

Brother - That_Goblin kicks Depressio a couple of times.

Math Problem - The ultimate math equation, as explained by a guy in a sash.

Lincoln Logs - Depressio goes 133+, and answers a question for Fhqwhgads too!

Being a Mod - Depressio talks about what it's like to be a mod. As if you didn't know that by the title.

Depressedio - That_Goblin Depressio talks about his feelings.

Survivor - Live coverage of Survivor copycat threads!

University - Depressio talks about his experiences at C.G.N.U, and starts his own university!

Depressiozik - Depressio gets two emails, then tells everyone how to make some cool toons. I mean, tunes.

3mail - Three times the questions, with three times as many answers!

Sashtastic - That potate sash finally gets the email it deserves.

Cake Stash - Depressio goes to great lengths to defend his cake stash, while still warding off both Homsar and Homestar.

Assistant - Three candidates try out to be
Depressio's assistant. Hilarity ensues.

Big Game - Depressio takes a lot at the football event of the year. Everyone stops by.

New System - A sneak peak at Depressio's "DBox", with crazy results. Will there be any more sadmails? Yeah, probably. Just look below.

Goblin Gravy - That_Goblin answers an email while Depressio is away. I don't think he knows what he's doing.

Cereal - Depressio returns, and has to answer REAL mail, not electronic stuff. fun_timey helps out...sorta.

New - Ever wonder why Depressio always wears the same hat? Well, you're going to have to look elsewhere.

Gilatinus_monster - All you folks at home get to learn about Gelatinous_Monster's weird relative. It sure beats screensaver shopping.

Compy - Live from fun_timey's house!

Stupid - Homestar asks why Homestar is picked on so much. Then Depressio talks about how Homestar is slow. Homestar.

The Ladies - Kegnoo asks why Marzipan isn't mentioned in any of the sadmails.

School Dance - The first ever sadmail dance. Depressio gets angry. Again.

Holiday Gift - Depressio decides to give his crappy pretty cool Mac to Da_Cheat for Decemberween.

Island Getaway - Depressio tries to explain himself to locals who have never heard of him before.

Administrator - Since he doesn't have a computer, Depressio decides to be an admin for his friends. That_Goblin eats a lot of stuff.

Movie - A peek at Homestar's video library. Depressio goes solo for one episode.

ChickenWingz - fun_timey guest hosts, and talks about love. Isn't Depressio supposed to be sad and fun_timey is supposed to be happy? Weird.

Shopping - Depressio sends That_Goblin and fun_timey to do his grocery shopping while he stuffs his pockets with raw baking materials.

RPG Character - Old_spritey fun_spritey!

Weirdmail - Depressio and Homestar take a look at some of Depressio's unanswered emails. Homestar's accent gets outta hand.

Big Fight - The whole gang shows up for a wrestling match. Yes, even fun_timey.

Badmail - Depressio gets a really dumb email. That_Goblin and fun_timey screw everything up. Again.

World Domination - Depressio discusses his strategy for taking over the world. And everyone's favorite computer makes a comeback!

Auditions - Depressio shows... I mean, Depressio shows us the auditions for his screenplay/movie. 5/6 main characters!

Aliens - A real alien found by Depressio! Definately not a hoax!

Tutor - Depressio shows Chorterson how to be a hosterson. Homestar is broke.

Not Guitardude - Depressio gets a Compy 387, and then celebrates by not answering an email and making Homestar fill in.

Girlfriend Issues - Two emails about the same topic. Depressio and The Chort are lonely.

Froos and Ataris - Depressio answers three emails, but only really answers one.

Cash - What would Depressio do with a lot of bucks? Probably some stuff.

Great Jaerb - Depressio talks about his classic jobs. I mean jaerbs.

Visit - Depressio and That_Goblin try to visit the Gelatinous_Family for Decemberween.

Secrets Revealed - The big 50th sadmail, with loads of secwet songs.

[Depressio]

(I already got two emails, so I guess I'll do em both today! Woo!)

Email #1 - French Bands



Hmm...I guess it's time for me to test this out.

run_sadmail.exe

Hey, here's one.

Dear Jeff,

Do you hate the French?

Sincerely,

-fun_timey

No way, underscoreman. I love the French! French cheese, french toast...and the Poopsmith is french, isn't he?

Isn't he?

run_pasport.exe

Oh...that's "Stench." Sorry about that. The French still rule though!

On with a-question two...

What should I name my band?

Skimdntsrf

How about "Stenchsmiths?" I hope that won't infringe on any copyrights. Wait...I should probably check that out first. Poopsmith gets pretty crazy if I do things without asking him.

*leaves computer*

[15 minute later]

Well Fhqwhgads, you should probably think up your own name. I gotta take a shower. I had a little run in with...aw never mind.

run_ reference.exe

[Depressio]

Email #2 - Icon

Whoa! Check it out! Another smail!

run_sadmail.com

COMMAND NOT FOUND

oh_sorry.exe

Here we go!

Dear Jeff,

Whats with the wierd icon and what is it? If there is a story, tell.

Friends forever,
FatDudley

Well one-word, it's not as interesting of a story as one is led to believe. I asked Holy Crap to capture my likeness in an avatar, but she found it kinda difficult. I'm such a unique character, but I think this fits me pretty well.

Let's start piece by piece:

1. The big white face and gray body. Always good for scaring away smaller people who hate Member Survivor.

2. Sash. Always good for storing food for SECRET EATING.

3. Fun-time hat. A nice fashion statement. Also keeps little bits of food, as well as gameboys, safe and hidden.

Yes, that's about it Dudleyman. Well, keep sending me those questions, and I'll keep not-locking this thread.

To email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #3 - Typo

Do the email! Doodoodoo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo...

run_sadmail.exe

Dear Depressio,
Did you notice Strong Bad Email 70 says Compy 086 instead of 386?

From,
Super Sonic X

Whoa! Good spotting Tails!

I guess we should all write an email to the Bros. Chaps about this. Even though it was purposely done, it clashes with the continuity, don't you think?

Old-timey Homestar walks by, kicking a can

Yeah, I suppose this way done to mock old Mac computers, which can be seen when Strong Bad changes his monitor to black and white only. I thought TBC use iMacs for flash and stuff, but I could be wrong. I guess the only way to know would be...

run_ secretinfo

What?!? That didn't really help at all. I think someone's been messing around with my secret info.

Well Knuckles, thanks for your question, and be sure to send more of 'em, for a possible FOURTH episode! WOW!


If you want to email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #4 - Contrast

Wow! My fourth email! Let's take a look!

run_sadmail.exe

Dear Depressio,

There are rumors flying about that you got that top hat of yours at a 99 cent store. Is this true? Please clear up any misinformation.

Your friend,
Stinkodan

WHAT? No! How did you-no! No! False!

OK, next question! Badoomp.

-Jeff
I'm back with even more questions and your'e back with possibly more answers! Ok so where do you stand on the 2004 election so far? who do you want to win? oh and also can you compare and contrast the 1936, present day, and 20X6 homestar or Strongbad for me? that would be great.

Over and out!
FatDudley

Hey! Same some emails for the fishes, man. Oh well.

The board election? Well, I don't really have a view point yet. I'm not really cultured on the subject. I'll do a quick search to find out if I can know anything new.

run_thatsearchengine

0 results found.

OK Fudley, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't see anything about any election going on here. I'll deal with your other questions now:

run_Depressio's incredible contrast machine!

Old Timey Homestar - Usually identifiable by his slow, dumb speech and confused demeanor.

Present day Homestar - Usually identifiable by his slow, dumb speech and clueless demeanor.

The Kid - Usually identifiable by his fast, dumb speech and zoned-out demeanor.

Well Dufley, nothing much seems to have changed if you ask me. Maybe an adjective or two, but that's about it.

Well, I gotta go inquire about some business, and I'll catch you all later.


If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #5 - Average Day

Check it out! Check my email! Check it out! Check my email!

run_sadmail.exe

Dear Jeff,
Can you give us a "day in the life" perspective? This would be great for all of your fans. Thank you for reading this.

Your friend,
Me, Meville, M.E.

Well Mimi, that's a good question. I think I can summarize my average day by showing you a few of the (slightly exaggerated) IMs and emails I receive.

run_archives

IM 1 - Received: Everyday at 10:00 AM

Depstachio,

I need u to help me with things.

-Memberman



IM 2 - Received: Everyday at 1:00 PM

Depressio,

Can you sign up for Member Island match? Games are fun!

-fun_timey



IM 3 - Received: Everyday at 5:00 PM

Dear moderator,

I regret to inform you that your credit card has expired. Please send your credit card number and expiration date so we can make the changes.

-fun_timey That_joke



IM 4 - Received: Everyday at 8:00 PM

Deppressio,

I accidentally deleted Member Survivor.

-That_Goblin



IM 5 - Received: Everyday at 8:05 PM

Deppressio,

That was a dream, sorry.

That_Goblin



Well, now you get to see the kind of amazing stuff that I deal with on a day-to-day basis. If all goes well, you'll be able to play the Amazing Depressio Adventure Game will be out on the market soon. You'll be able to run, jump, and shoot snappy answers from your definately-not-from-a-99cent store-hat. Yeah, it'll be awesome.


If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #6 - Birthday Fishes

Here I go again on my own!

run_sadmail.exe

Dear jeff,
How can I Same some emails for the fishes? Do I sent my next email to a fish? Im confused.

Till next time (I think)
FatDudley

Well, I'm confused by your poor grammar and spelling!

To summarize, I wanted you to save a fish, and then give it to someone as a present. I'm sure someone wants a fish.

Next email!

Dear umm i forgot your name,
My birthday is today
Me
P.S. This is a very interesting e-mail isnt it

Well FatDudley, there you go! Send that guy over there a birthday fish. That makes everything better! Who doesn't like a nice birthday fish!

Well, that's the end of the email. I hope I've answered your question(s). If not, you can always email me again.


If you want to email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #7 - Aimee

OK, here I go again on my own...again...yeah...

run_sadmail.exe

Dear Aimee, Wait...that doesn't sound right...
I was wondering if you will go out with me because I have a major crush on you and I've been meaning to ask you out but i havent had the courage to yet. Please respond as soon as possible. Thanks!

Wishingfully,
Matt

P.S. This e-mail may not get to you because i wasnt exactly sure what your e-mail address was.

What the crap?

Listen Matt, I don't know HOW you found out about my middle name. It must've taken some extensive research, so I guess you have time on your hands.

Listen Matt again, I'm gonna have to respectively turn the date down. I know you're a fan of the sadmails, but I have some pressing engagements this evening. Thanks to Fhqwhgads for clearing that up for me.

Hmm...I think I might have time to check another email.

JEFFERSON!

Can you make or hire someone to make a toon about something. it should cure my diease.
dfsygikfdhgloifdhgofdjguiernjdfuhgojtrifohjrthkltsjmh! and thats a wrap! Wrap! Wrap! ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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leeko leeko leeko!
fdjbis
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From FreindaZoid McFreinderson

...Yeah. I think it's time to bring this email to a close. Now, send me you less-disturbing emails, and I will probably not not answer them.


If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there - > survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #8 - Brother

Oh, it's time...to check the email...oh it's time...to check the email...

run_sadmail.exe

Dear Jeff Probes,
Do you have a Brother?

You friend,
Crazypants

Well Crazyshorts, I do have a brother. He's about 1 and a half feet tall, he hides under cars, and he enjoys messing up my Member Survivor thread. Oh look, here he comes now...

That_Goblin walks up, kicks Depressio in the leg, and then walks away

Yeah, that's about all he does. I don't know what the relation is either. Sometimes, he'll fetch me things, but only when I do stuff for him first. I once tried to make him into my sidekick, but that didn't seem to work too well.

run_trainingvideo

Depressio: OK man, just walk up to Da_Cheat and ask if I can borrow some jam for my toast. It's simple.

That_Goblin: stares blankly, grabs a loaf of Depressio's bread, and gives it to Da_Cheat.

Depressio: NO! That was stupid! Are you stupid?

That_Goblin: dances around

OK, that's enough of that! Just watching that makes me want some toast. Maybe with some...apricot jam...


If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #9 - Math Problem

run_sadmail.exe

Whoa! Two emails in one day!

Dear Depressio,
I need help with a math problem.  It's really hard and I don't think you'll get
it.  Can you help me?
Your friend,
ChickenWingz

Chickenwingz, eh? Do you come with hot sauce? Or maybe some sweet n' sour sauce? Oh, right, you had a question.

Through my years of studying the mathematical processeses, I have come up with a simple equation to solve any math problem. Just plug in your numeratorers, and your denominatorers, and maybe some...decibles.

OK, here's the equation:

Answer=#members on the board, +the first number you see on your page, - the Poopsmith's stench (in degrees celcius), X the number of meals eaten by the King of Town before 9:13 AM EST, divided by the sum of the square root of the triangular version of the second number you see on your page.

Yes, it's that overly complex simple, ChickenWingz. You'll find any and all answers to math questions from that, except anything with odd or even numbers. That's where it gets...difficult.


If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there -> survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Depressio]

Email #10 - Lincoln Logs

Check that email, all the time, check that email, make it rhyme...

run_sadmail.exe

DeAr DePrEsImAn,
WhY iS aWeXoMe SpElLeD wItH aN x? Is It A tYpO?

-FrIeNd

W33l pHr13Nd, 1 tH1nK 1t'$ bEc@U$3 tH3 bR0tH3eR$ l1K3 t0 $Pe11 w0rD$ d1fF3r3ntlY f0R n0 r3@$0n.

OK, on with the next email!

Dear Jeff Jeffefferson,

I was really worried about my Lincoln Logs the other day. I went to the store to see if I could find a friend for them. They are sad. All they do is sit around like a bump on a log. Do you have any advise?

Rocks are cool,
Fhqwhgads bhz

w3lL fHqWhg@d$...I mean, well fhqwhgads, I don't really know who or what a Lincoln Log is, so I'm gonna have to do some research on the subject.

run_internet

So, you took your home to the store? There's your answer, Fhqwhgads. You should just take it easy: maybe make a bonfire in your wood-panneled living room, and cook some canned soup while watching nature documentaries. Then afterwards, you could go into the woods and recruit some squirrels to do your bidding, and then you could invite them into your house to keep it company.

Yep, that's a pretty good plan if I do say so myself.

That's it for now: No more sadmails...for the next couple of hours.

If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there - > survivorinbox@hotmail.com

[Jengajam]

COMING SOON:

Sadmail the flash movie!!!

<a href="http://www.uploadit.org/files2/171103-sadmailnearly1.swf" target="_blank">http://www.uploadit.org/files2/171103-sadmailnearly1.swf</a>

Could I be more awsome? Full version coming soon!!!

[Depressio]

!!!!!!!!!! JENGA !!!!!!!!!!

That's an awesome little preview!!!

[Brett]

Dear Jeffefferson,

I think your internet is broken. I wish I had a log cabin, but I digress...Lincoln Logs are like the Poor Man's Legos. You can build like, a house...or a log pile, or.. a house. Wait, you can't build a log pile...

run_fhq's_internet.exe

Ahh, now doesn't that make my email more sensable? Well... maybe not. But.. I.. like.. Lincoln Logs!

Fhqtastic

[Depressio]

Email #11 - Being a Mod

Look at me! I'm checking my email!

run_sadmail.exe

Dear Mr. Depressing guy,
What's it like being a mod?  Is it cool?  Is it worth doing it?  Is it more enjoyable than selling issues of "Grit"?

Your avatar-making bud,
Jim Grim

Hey rhymie, if you're such an avatar-making bud, how come I don't see you making little avatars saying "Hey, email Depressio!" or "Check out that sadmail thread, punk!" Yeah, that would sure liven up the ol' inbox. But I digress.

Being a mod is awexome, man. You get those different colored stars next to your board name, and that little extended title of "moderator". And don't forget about the hatemail!

run_messiges

Dear jerk!

I h8 u cause you are a m0d and I wanna b a mod and i think i could b a better mod than u!

Surly patrol

P.S. I love that member survivor thread. Can I start one of my own?

Ugh...yeah, I guess it's not all super fun games n' such...except...for me...it...kinda...is. Yeah...


If you'd like to email Depressio, click over there - > survivorinbox@hotmail.com