Email #200: Grand FinaleDepressio walks into his computer room and notices that That_Goblin, fun_timey, Gelatinous_Monster, Fudley, Homestar, Jim Grim, and Clonepressio are waiting for him
Depressio: What the...did someone leave the dog door open or something?
That_Goblin: (shakes head)
fun_timey: Come on, Depressio. Just do your thing.
Depressio: Uh...Depressio sits down in the chair. Everyone else gasps and leans over his shoulder
Depressio: Hey! I can't do this when you're all watching me!The group walks off. Depressio types sad_mail.exe, but does not hit enter. He instead stands up from his computer and walks out the door
----Cut to Fudley's Restaurant, where the group (excluding Depressio) has gathered. That_Goblin is making fruit drinks, and Fudley is behind the counter, scrubbing bills with a washcloth
fun_timey: OK...OK...It's my turn.
Jim Grim: Go for it.
Jim Grim: No.
Jim Grim: No, not that either. The answer was "dime."
fun_timey: I was way off.
Homestar: (to That_Goblin) Hey neutral expression, I've got a hankering for some of your icy devices.That_Goblin hands Homestar a fruit drink
Homestar: Hey, I never asked for flavor!Depressio walks in
Depressio: Oh man. Populated. (clears throat) Look everybody...I'm just stopping in here to say...I'm not stopping in here anymore. I got a job offer as a "technical advisor" for "The Technical Advisor Variety Hour," so I'm going to need to pack things up and move out to West Dempsey.There is silence for a few seconds. Depressio shrugs and walks out
fun_timey: There's a WEST Dempsey?
----Cut back to Depressio's house. There are lots of boxes stacked everywhere. That_Goblin walks in. The computer still displays "sad_mail.exe" on it
Depressio: Look man...you're officially in charge of the house from now on. So that means that fun_timey isn't allowed on the carpets unless he's been washed with that special shampoo.
Depressio: And...uh...instead of a key, I just left this drawing of a doorknob. I figure you could handle things from there.
That_Goblin: (nods again)
Depressio: And...uh...don't let Fudley trick you into buying any of his "service charges." And if he tries to repair your digital watch, tell him that he's got the wrong address.
Depressio: So...I'm going to go say goodbye to the locals. I'll be back to pick up my stuff after.
That_Goblin: (shrugs again)
Depressio: Yeah...Depressio walks off. That_Goblin sighs, looks down, and then walks away
----Cut to Depressio in a field with Gelatinous_Monster
Depressio: Look man...I appreciate you giving all the guest appearances in the emails. Especially with your appearance as "The Right Idea" in that stage play I never saw.
Depressio: So...yeah. Keep on doing whatever it is that gets you thousands of dollars in sales a year.----Cut to Depressio standing outside of Fudley's
Fudley: (holds up a piece of paper marked "Pressio's Tab")
Depressio: Yeah...about that. Uh...I didn't know the currency at the time of most of those purchases...so I'm pretty sure they're void.
Fudley: (shakes his head)
Depressio: Not budging, huh?
Fudley: (shakes his head again)
Depressio: Oh man. Now I'm going to have to pawn off some classic Depressio memorabillia.Depressio takes off his hat, revealing his blue hair. He hands the hat to Fudley
Depressio: That could net you four, maybe even four seventy-five on any low-grade auction!
Depressio: Yeah...I guess I'm going to need to wear a "business hat" in the Slighter Bigger City anyways. Maybe like...a trilby...or...a top hat...anyways...I'll see ya.
----Depressio, still without a hat, is talking to Jim Grim
Depressio: Hey...you're from West Dempsey.
Jim Grim: That's what it says on my T-shirt.Depressio pauses, and then shakes his head
Depressio: ...Anyways...what kind of advice could you give me. I'm going to need a place to sleep, a place to eat, and a placemat.
Jim Grim: Well...you could always use the apartment that I talked myself into buying back in the apartment craze of the early decades. I haven't ever actually used it, but I still seem to be paying for utilities on a monthly basis.
Depressio: So what you're saying is, you have a fully functional apartment basically sitting there.
Jim Grim: Yeah, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to charge you rent.
Depressio: Uh...how much?
Jim Grim: By rent, I mean I'm coming too.
Jim Grim: Yeah. I only came here because my compass broke. And since you're going to West Dempsey anyways, I might as well come along. I do have an apartment there, apparently.
Depressio: Ugh. I don't know what's worse: sharing an apartment with you, or sharing an apartment with two of you.
Jim Grim: If that's the attitude you have, then I'm not coming at all!
Depressio: Awesome. Have this square that kinda looks like a wallet.
Jim Grim: (takes it) Whoa. With this money I'll be able to finance some endeavors!
Depressio: Yeah. Anyways...take it easy...and I'll see you later.
Jim Grim: Alright. Oh. And be on the lookout for this guy with rhino feet giving out free money.
Depressio: (blinks and then walks off)----Depressio walks up to Homestar, who is staring at the ground
Depressio: Oh, hey.
Homestar: What? Oh. I think I have your trading card.
Depressio: Well...anyways...I'm moving to West Dempsey, and I figured I'd yell all this stuff at you before I went.
Homestar: Hold on, I need to put in my contacts.
Depressio: ...Whatever. I don't think it's worth it anyways. But seriously. Homestar as a name...I really don't think it's gonna do a lot for you.
Homestar: For reals?
Depressio: Yeah. So...I'm going to give you a new name here before I go...Depressio scribbles something on a piece of paper and sticks it to Homestar
Depressio: There...from now on, you're name is just Wrunner. I mean...come on. The pun is pretty bad, but I have little to work with.
Wrunner: I don't think it's-
Depressio: Yeah. Give it a couple years.
----Depressio is now talking to Clonepressio
Depressio: Hey man. I don't know what to say. I mean, we've had good times, and adventures, and that one time where we had to fight off those antagonists.
Clonepressio: Several experiences emotions coordinates.
Depressio: Stop man...I don't wanna ruin the moment...----Cut to Depressio talking to fun_timey
fun_timey: Hey, I heard you're leaving.
Depressio: Yeah...uh...I told you that...
fun_timey: No, I'm pretty sure I read the novelization.
Depressio: (sighs) You know what? I don't think it's going to be the same without you constantly standing there and blinking.
fun_timey: Yeah, that's why I made you this travel clock. fun_timey hands Depressio a very large round object shaped like fun_timey's head
fun_timey: It doesn't tell the time, and it breaks really easily, but I think you're probably going to get no use out of it.
Depressio: Uh...(sighs) Thanks.
fun_timey: No, YOU stop!
fun_timey: So are you taking your computer with you?
Depressio: No way! Between all these generic moving boxes, I don't think I'm going to have room.
fun_timey: Really? Then can I have it? I mean, my old OS1 is good and all, but I need to network it to something if I want to play Solitare: 2P mode!
Depressio: No way. I could come back to use it some day, and I don't want your molecules all over it.
fun_timey: I can see that. Anyways...I'm heading over to my house to see if I can exchange pillows for cushions. Goodbye for now.fun_timey walks off
Depressio: Yeah...seeya.Depressio notices that his computer still displays "sad_mail.exe" on it. Depressio sits down and hits enter
Do you remember the last time you finished something? What was it, and what was the hardest part of finishing it?
Depressio: When was the last time I finished something...He pauses, and takes a deep breath
Depressio: Hey...you know what? I guess I did just now.Depressio turns off his computer and then walks off
Huge Thanks to Jengajam: http://img79.imageshack.us/img79/2759/finalemail1qm.swf
Thanks for reading.