SSX-Mails-The Pack Is Back In the Pack of Packs! - SSXMail 24 Out! -

[Rather On Fire]

Ok, guys.  I really need SSXMails.  I haven't gotten one for over a month, now.  Also, it has been an ENTIRE YEAR since someone commented on my emails.  This time, I really need comments and SSXMails.

-SSX

[Rather On Fire]

Once AGAIN, sorry for double posting, but...

SSXMail 19: An EMAIL?  For Real?

SSX:  Man, I have a mail?  Hmmmm.  Must be on one of those new papers.  The transparent papers that you can't feel.

Ok, here we go.

Dear Bender,
Where's The Cheat and, uh, Carmen San Diego?

Sincerely,
Strong Bad

Good question, Strong BaWHA!  Strong Bad?  I got an email from the legendary Strong Bad?


Cool.  Anyways, I think I has the solution to your question.

Cut to a cheap, flashy, unnecicary show.

The Cheat and Carmen San Diego: GONE Without a Trace!

Generic person #344354:  Let's start looking for some traces!

Generic person #1:  THERE ARE NO TRACES!  Guys, don't listen to him.  I'M the original!  I AM  GP NUMBER OOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!11one!1
GP 344354:  Ok, chill.  Let's jsut find those guys.

Cut back to SSX.

Don't worry, Scroll Buttons. The Squeaky Guy and the guy who's not a guy will be safe, I think.  If not, try to find another huge egg or something.

Man, where is everybody?  It's like I'm living in a town where everyone is dead, exept me.  And I'm struggling to stay alive.  Or something.  I'ma go see where everyone went. 

SSX trips on a mysterious suitcase.

Ow, those things are bad for you!

The suitcase opens up, revealing the "Super-Box 200".

Hmmmm...

Later...

What, you're still here?  You were supposed to leave one Later ago!  You can't see the SuperBox yet!!

The camera zooms in on the SuperBox.

WHAT are you doing?  Get outta here!

The SuperBox is brodcasted on live TV.

Oh, very funny.  Now, get outta here, man!

Phew.  They're finally gone.

SSX pulls the cover off the SuperBox, and turns around.

Aww, CRAP!

The paper comes down.  SSX stretches it over the SuperBox.

[Rather On Fire]

SSX presents...
A new SSXMail series, that isn't a filler for SSXMail 20...

HOLIDAY SSXMAILS!
Lasting all month, until December 25, when I will release, an SSXMail that will hopefully be animated...

Have a Merry Something!

And, on New Years Eve...

The probably long awaited SSXMail....

SSXMAIL 20!

Holiday SSXMail 1

Cut to the Superbox.  SSX runs in, and puts a Decemberween Tree up.

Ok, guys.  I'm gonna be making a few changes.  First...

a>run_green_background.exe
a>run_red_text.exe
a>run_countdown.exe

The paper comes down, reading this:

Countdown 'till some Day: 19 days

Ok, here's how it's gonna go.  Every email, I'll add 5 ornaments to this tree.  The paper'll tell you guys how many days are left until Decemberween.
Ok, email-time!

a>ssxmail.exe
"Rudolph the red nosed email, liked to play with scroll buttons..."

a>Yo yo yo, Super Bender X!
I bet you $5 that you can't throw a toaster into the freeway and have it not land on a car.
From, Uncle Fisty.

Oh, yeah?  We'll see about that!

As SSX walks out, he puts 5 ornaments on the tree, and grabs a toaster.  Outside, the street is covered with snow.

Ok, so how hard can it be to have a toaster tossed in to a stree-FREEWAY and have it not land on any cars?

SSX chucks a toaster into the street.  Out of nowhere, a car drives up, and slams into the car.  the toster breaks the window, revealing Kevin Grumbles.  Grumbles drives away, with the free toaster.

I'LL GET YOU KEVEN *grumble*!!

Ok, so you win.  But you're not getting any sort of prize!

The paper comes down.

Countdown to Some Day: 19 Days

[Big Boss]

SSX chucks a toaster into the street.  Out of nowhere, a car drives up, and slams into the car.  the toster breaks the window, revealing Kevin Grumbles.  Grumbles drives away, with the free toaster.

I'LL GET YOU KEVEN *grumble*!!

Ok, so you win.  But you're not getting any sort of prize!

Ah, the power of cheating people. 

[That_Goblin]

Nice 'mail, SSX! Keep 'em coming!

9/10

T_G

[Rather On Fire]

Woah.  Almost forgot about this thing.  Well, since there are few days left, and I lost the 2 emails I had stored, I'll need new ones for this thread.

-SSX

[Rather On Fire]

And, again, I apologize about double-posting, but nobody has commented in here since December 7.  I mean it this time.  I have no emails to answer, and haven't been able to answer one since December 6.  Sewiously, guys.  I need emails.  Sewiously.

-SSX

[Rather On Fire]

Once AGAIN, I will apologize for posting 3 times in a row.

SPECIAL EMAIL!
SSXMail 20-Expandization
Before I start, I'll annoucne 6 new characters that have been added to SSXMails.

Depressio
Coach Z
Mr. Teatime
Homestar of Light
Gir
Da_Burninator

If you have been chosen, but do not want to star, just tell me.  If you do want to star, but was not chosen, I will try to fit you in.

And now, the moment you've probably not waited for, SSXMail 20!

a>run_SSXMail20.exe

a>Dear Super Sonic X,

What does the 'X' stand for?

Confused at your letter/roman numeral,
Depressio

SSX looks to the right.  All of a sudden, Depressio, Coach Z, Mr. Teatime, Homestar of Light,, Gir, and Da_Burninator appear.

SSX: Woah!  I thought this was an uninhabitable wasteland!  How did you guys get here?

HoL:  Budget cuts!

SSX:  Ok, whatever.   Well, I guess you six are a part of SSXMails now.

DB:  Hey, can I still be, uh, cool in here?

SSX:  Did you say...I'm not cool?

DB:  Not really.  I mean, it's real crowded in here.  It doesn't really seem like I have room to show off, and make really cool poses.

SSX:  Well, there's still the empty room, by which I mean, the garage.

DB runs outside, and puts a huge sign on the garage reading "DB's room".

HoL:  Hey, was that a huge, walkning, stack of brownies, or a huge bendi straw?

Teatime:  That was a dragon, you idiot!

HoL: I know, can you be-

Teatime:  WILL YOU JUST STOP TALKING?

HoL:  What?  I just said 2 lines.

Depressio jabs HoL in the stomach.

Teatime: ......Thanks.

SSX walks up to the computer, to se Gir downloading episodes of Invader ZIM.

SSX:  What are you doing?

Gir:  It's a late christmas present.  10 ZIM episodes!  YAY!

SSX:  Hey, this doesn't look like my computer!

SSX finds his computer in the trash.

Gir:....That's the other present!

SSX walks down to the garage to see how DB is doing.

D_B is making cardboard figures of himself in various poses.

SSX:  What are you doing?

DB:  I'm saving my cool poses and recreating them.

DB's cardboard poses are drawn in horribly.

SSX:  So, that's what happens when you take him away from Protoshop.  Well, I should probably answer the email now.

SSX and DB return to the Computer Room.

SSX:  Ok, Depressio.  The X in my name stands for Xtremgrolngrahlemgrohsngroomerlanscgranpsxcreandoborinchughelasnograshpornaglenmorbonohjkanghelnmorkchsacerdertryinuhgreanfdoanfraeangroanglopersnoopcanholber. 
Or ten.  Also, I have a word of advice.  NEVER REPEAT THAT WORD AGAIN, EVER!  Well, that's pretty much it.  But, I'm not goona be lazy and end it right here.

Gir: Why not?

SSX:  Because I'm ending it here.

The paper comes down.

[Depressio]

That was hilarious, long-name man. Keep it up!

[Rather On Fire]

Ok, 2 more characters will be added to the cast now.

Darkest_Raven
PokeHomsar

SSXMail 21-Life, and Not Enough Space in the Room to Enjoy It

SSX tries to get to the computer through the huge croud.  Gir is standing on top of the computer.  Coach Z is laying on the ground, and an imprint of him is shown on Depressio's chest.  Mr. Teatime is shoved into HoL's mouth.

Teatime:  I don't know how this could get any worse.

HoL: Horlgrofe slong hangrovengeh?

Teatime: I hate my life.

Ok, let's see if I can answer an email without being squished.

a>run_ssxmail.exe

A portal opens out of nowhere, and Pokehomsar and Darkest_Raven fall out.

SSX:  Great, just great.  Well, at least there's no one else to fill the room up.

DB:  Hey, guys.  Can I be, um, cool in here?

Everyone except DB: No!

DB: Okay, yeesh.  Sorry I asked.

SSX: Ok, I'm getting sick of this.

Gir: I'll get the thermometer!

SSX:  Ugh...

Teatime: I couldn't have said that any better.

SSX:  Ok, guys. We need to have two people to a room.

HoL:  Ihhs ihatt  Throanksgrainving arunglodily?

Teatime:  What did he say?

SSX:  I think he said, "Is it Thanksgiving already?"

Teatime: ....Get this thing offa me!

D_R uses telepathic powers to get Teatime out.

Teatime:  I'm with the girl with the blue robe.

Teatime and D_R leave.

HoL:  I'm with the stack 'o brownies!

DB: ...No.

Depressio:  I'm with DB, I guess.

DB: ...Yes.

Depressio and DB leave, and only CZ, HoL, Gir, and SSX were left.

Gir:  I'll bunk with the hedgehog-man!

SSX: Fine with me.

Coach Z:  I'm nort burnking with thart idiort!

HoL;  I'm not bunking with an old man who smells like 5 month old Chinese Food!

SSX:  Fine, fine.  Just have 2 rooms to yourselves.  Losers.

Coeach Z:  HE'Z TRYIN TA FADE ME!

Gir knocks CZ down, and stuffs him into an empty room.

HoL:  This is muntiny!  I won't bunk with  a walking, breathing lump of gra-ss!

SSX:  You don't have to, idiot!

HoL:  This is mutiny!

HoL  walks into an emty room.

SSX:  That's the storage closet!

Hol:  No, it's not!  It's a tiny bedroom!

SSX:  Well, I should probably answer that email.

a>Greetings, SSX.

I was just wondering, what is the meaning of life?

From,
Dr. Stupid

a>That's an easy one.   Ok, guys.  The meaning of life is...

The paper comes down.

[Rather On Fire]

Sorry for double posting, blah, blah, blah...

SSXMail 22: The X 2

Coach Z turns on the tv in his room, and lays down in his bed.

Commercial announcer:  If you are watching this commercial, you have just won a million dollars!  Just enter the following string of numbers on your telephone and talk to an intern for up to 6 hours and 21 minutes!

Coach Z:  I've gorttar gert a pern and perper!

Coach Z runs out, and the number (54392) 123-456-789-1011-1213-1415 appears on the bottom of the screen.

Coach Z:  Harve any orf you gurys seen my pern and perper?

SSX: No.

Gir: Loser.

Coach Z:  Storp fading me!

Coach Z returns to his room.   He quickly copies down the phone number on the screen, and runs into another room to a phone.  Coach Z punches in the phone number on the paper.

Intern:  Hello, welcom to the U.S. Ar-

Coach Z:  I'll accerpt irt!

Coach Z hangs the phone up, and runs back into his room.

3 hours later...

Someone arrives at the house.  He presses the doorknob, and SSX gets it.

The man at the door:   Hello.  My name is Mr. GuyWhoPicksPeopleUpToBringThemToBootCamp.  Have you seen this man?

Mr. GWPPUTBTTBC shows SSX a picture of Coach Z.

SSX:  He's in the health risk zone.

Mr. BootCamp guy: Thank you, sir.

That Mr. guy heads to Coach Z's room.  He takes COach Z outside.

Coach Z:  Are you the gury who girves me thre mirllion dorrlars?

The person: Ummm.... No.

You-know-who stuffs Coach Z into the back of his truck.  Long-name man drives Coach Z to a local boot camp.

Later, at the high-security boot camp place...

Lutennant:  Alright, vollunteers!  Listen up! You will be going under intense training and even more intense crawling under barbed wire! I wi- Hey, where's that funny-talkin guy?

Coach Z:  I'm rigrht herrrrrre!

Lutennant:  Why aren't you wearing the U.S. army's boot camp's clothing?

Coach Z:  What?  U.S. arrrrrmy?  Get me ourrta herrre!

COach Z runs as far away as he can from the boot camp, and ends up back at SSX's house.

Meanwhile, at SSX's computer...

SSX:  Ok, let's see what I can do here.  Gir's new computer's kind of weird when it comes to checking email.

A>Boot_Mail_of_SSX.com

Dear SSX,
Didn't you used to have some sort of X thing on your head?
Fromly yours,
ChocolateMetal

A>Boot_text_entering.exe

A>What?  I've always had an X  Have you taken a vow of not looking at foreheads?  I just spilled invisible paint on it.  And yes, invisible paint exists.  I also don't use my X as much.  But it's still awexome.  I'm not exactly sure how many powers it contains.  I lost count at 15 million.

Coach Z bursts through the door.

CZ:  Nerver say mirllion agairn!

All of a sudden, a huge explosion is heard.

SSX:  Well, this is probably the best time to show that I stil have an X.

SSX levitates to the room where the explosion occured.  He sees D_R and Teatime lookind around the room.

SSX:  What hppened in here?

Teatime: Uhhh.... D_R lit a match, and I burped on it.

D_R:  Yeah.  No explosves were invloved.

D_R uses her telekenectic powers to cover uo a hole in the wall with a drawer.

Meanwhile, in HoL's storage closet...

Poke_Homsar enters the room, and sits down in front of HoL.

HoL:  Hey! get outta here, pudgy!  This is my room!

P_H:  I'm just a passing trunkset!

HoL: Ugh.  I'm not bunking with a stack of white and blue pncakes!

P_H: Woaoaoaoah!  I'm more than meets the sky!

Meanwhile, in the garage...

DB walks in to fund his cardboard poses in the trash.

DB:  Ummm, Depressio,  why are my works of art in the trash?

Depressio:  Because they weren't art!

DB:  Yeah, welll.... Sadmails aren't art, either!

The trash can smashes into DB's head, and all the poses pour out, along with 4 cans of cool spray.

DB:  Thanks, roll of fat!

Meanwhile, at SSX's computer...

SSX walks up to the computer, to find Gir watching on of the many Zim episodes he downloaded.

SSX:  Hey, Gir, can I finish my SSXMail up now?

After a short pause, Gr turns the volume up.

SSX(Thinking):Maybe I can prove my X is real on Gir...

A faint shape representing SSX's X begins glowing on SSX's forehead.  Gir falls off the chair, and on to the table.  SSX gets on, and continues the email.

A> Well, that pretty much answers your question, EdibleSteel.  Tune in next time to see Teatme lodge a pen up Coach Z's nose!

The paper comes down.

[Rather On Fire]

Sorry for once again being forced to double-post.

If anybody reads SSXMails. please PM me.

I haven't gotten a compliment for 19 days.  Also, there's pretty much a ten day peroid between every SSXMail, since I rarely get SSXMails.

[Shapepressio]

Ummm...I sent you one.....

[Rather On Fire]

Ok, It's been about a week.  So far, I haven't been PMed by anyone who said they read SSXMails.  Now, I feel like there's no point in continuing SSXMails anymore.  So, I'll probably have to stop making SSXMails soon.  As far as I know, I have 1 viewer.  I'll continue if enough people want me to, but right now, I feel like barely anyone does.

-SSX

[Rather On Fire]

Sorry for....
Do I really have to say it?

A new character has been added.

Chwoka:Shapeshifter who can turn into anything he wants, and is also extremly smart.He lives in his own house, has to not disturb SSX with more people.

SSXMail 23: Someone New, Conspiracies, Super Bowl XXXIX, and Cliffhangers Together at Last

SSX takes a wald down the street.  It's a walk, even if he's floating 2 inches off the ground.  He finds a yard with no house in it.  As soon as SSX walks onto it, a house somehow rises from the ground, and launches SSX all the way back to his house with a large thud.  After a couple of minutes, the doorbell rings.  SSX opens the door, to find Shadow Sonic X.

SSX:  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!1onetwothreefourfive!1!!!!!1111

SSX passes out, and Shadow Sonic X is revealed to be SSX's neighbor, Chwoka.

2 hours later...

SSX wakes up.

SSX: You're gonna die, Shadow Sonic X!

SSX Punches Chwoka as hard as he can, and Chwoka falls down the stairs to SSX's house, ending on the cement driveway.  He slowly gets back to the door.

SSX:  Sorry about that.  I'm SSX.

Chwoka:  I'm Chwoka.

SSX:  Hey, Choka-wa.  Wait, I should check my email.

a>run_SSX_Mail.exe

Dear Super Sonic X,

Where does the paper come from, did Gir implant a printer on top of your computer or something?

Signed,
Chwoka

a>Well, Chuhhwookacuh, it's all a secret.  And, I probably should stop the camera from zooming in on the secret, since it's right above me.

In a room above SSX, millions of little men are forced to take letter stamps, paste them on a paper, carry them to a paper dropper, put the paper in, and walk a mile to the drop paper button.

Little man:  I don't think I'm gonna make it!

Other little man:  I'm gonna fall apart if I have to go that button again!

Little man 3:  This is torture!

SSX:  Hey!  Keep it down up there!

HoL:  YOU keep it down, loudman!

PokeHomsar:  Everybody keep it down!  I've almost finished my super robot clone android!

HoL:  What is your malfunction, tubby?  First, you ask me for a bannana cheese monkey on Mars, and now you're making robots?

Poke Homsar:  That means you, too, golide!

Meanwhile, on a TV...

TV announcer guy:Next, Super Bowl XXXIX!  But first, five hours of The Simpsons!  Only on Wolf!

6 hours later...

Sportscaster:  He's almost there!  He's gonna make it! He's going...going...TOUCHDOWN!  THE GAME IS OVER!  A TOUCHDOWN WITH 1 SECOND LEFT!  THE SUPERBOWL IS OVER!  THE WINNER IS...

Newscaster:  We interrupt this brodcast for a breaking news buliten.

SSX:  Did anyone see who won?

Everyone else:  Nope.

Newscaster:  Tonight, 50 hot air balloons crashed into the water at the same exact moment.

A picture of 50 hot air balloons appears.  After 10 seconds, an animated GIF of water appears.

The next day...

SSX:  I've got a feeling that someone did that on purpose.  I've got to find out who!  But... who?

To be continued....