SSX-Mails-The Pack Is Back In the Pack of Packs! - SSXMail 24 Out! -

[Darkest_Raven]

SSX:  What hppened in here?

Teatime: Uhhh.... D_R lit a match, and I burped on it.

D_R:  Yeah.  No explosves were invloved.

D_R uses her telekenectic powers to cover uo a hole in the wall with a drawer.

and,

Sportscaster:  He's almost there!  He's gonna make it! He's going...going...TOUCHDOWN!  THE GAME IS OVER!  A TOUCHDOWN WITH 1 SECOND LEFT!  THE SUPERBOWL IS OVER!  THE WINNER IS...

Newscaster:  We interrupt this brodcast for a breaking news buliten.

SSX:  Did anyone see who won?

Everyone else:  Nope.

lol quotes that well, made me laugh out loud!!
Awesome email SSX!

[Syrith]

great work, great work....I loved all of your emails, pure awesomeness, keep up the good work

[PokéHomsar]

That was grood.  You ask for replies, and I'll deliver, er...  Post them...

lustig/zehn

See if you can figure out that German!

[Rather On Fire]

From Jan. 12 to today, I have gotten 3 replies.     THREE.  I'm really getting tired of having everone on BHZ(Almost) ignore my thread.  Some help to get some people to read SSXMails would be aprecciated.

-SSX

[That Guy In Everclear]

Don't worry, Chaos Emeralds power of Sonic/Super Sonic X, I'll read your e-mail thread.

[potthole]

From Jan. 12 to today, I have gotten 3 replies.     THREE.  I'm really getting tired of having everone on BHZ(Almost) ignore my thread.  Some help to get some people to read SSXMails would be aprecciated.

-SSX

I don't want to come off as mean or cruel... but seriously.  There are so many e-mail threads out there now that only a few are going to rise above the rest.  The ones that do seem to have certain things in common, and a couple of those would include a writer who doesn't complain about "not being popular" and some sort of advertising for it. 

I can come up with a quick solution to your "unpopularity" real quick... lock this puppy up, that way nobody can respond.  By doing that, and making it so nobody can respond, at least you won't feel like people aren't responding because they choose not to... no, if I lock this, people won't respond because they can't... "unpopularity and lack of responses" solved right away.

One more complaint from you, and this is getting locked right away.  This is like a situation we had a few months back... if you can't play with your toys nicely, they can and will be taken away.

~potthole

[Rather On Fire]

*Ahem*

Welcome, one and somebody! I, Super Sonic X, am back to answer emails like a email-checker!

http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php/SSXMails - SSXMails Today!

http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php/SSXMails/BHZ - The Classics Reborn!

And, now...

A transcript...

Of a SSX and HSRT collab...

YOUROPPOSITESFIGHTYOUWEEN!

??: Submit it for your approval. A few friends standing around a room, talking about a made up holiday with the ever so common “ween” at the end. Little do these little weirdos know that they are about to find a world so strange.. so horrible… so…

Director: CUT! You’re going to have to shorten up that line…

??: What… you can’t say that to me!

Director: Oh yes, I can. I created you, you can’t hurt me in any way!

??: Are you so… sure?

Director: Yup.

??: *pause* I’m sorry I have to do this but… *?? Comes into view, it’s Shadow SX, his voice gets a lot louder and eviler* I, SHADOW SONIC X, AM GOING TO TAKE OVER THIS SMALL CARTOON UNIVERSE!! MWAHAHAHAH!

Director: And how do you plan to do that?

SSX: You see, I have built this warp, and put it into this box, disguised as a present. And when the person who gets this gift opens it… me and my minions will come into the dimension, and start our REIGN OF TERROR!

Director: Alright! That was perfect! I love it! … um, Sha- *Shadow punches the camera, and it fades to the decorated SuperBox, and some candy canes on the table.  Zoom in on the SuperBox.  The following text appears on the computer.*

a>run_youroppositesfightyouween.exe

A Christmasy tune plays in the background.  pictures of characters are shown when they are listed.

SSX and HSRT present...
A SSXMail Youroppopop.. lopol… ist… or… something!

It’s called.. you guessed it! Youroppopop… lop… Youroppositesfightyouween…

Starring...
The Good Guys:

SSX
HSRT
PokeHomsar
FHQ
Skinny_Blonde_Girl
That_Goblin
Depressio
HoL
SSHS
Homestar Golfer
Homestarguy
Da Burninator

The Bad Guys:

Shadow Sonic X
Nort Rats Run Right Home
YugiHomsar
Good Graphics FHQ
Fat_Blonde_Boy
That Goblin
Happysio
HoS
S.S. Outsideskater
Homestar Bowler
Homestardude
Evil DB
Trogdor

Script by:
SSX and HSRT

Animated by:
HSRT

Cut to a decorated part of SSX's house.  SSX, HSRT, PokeHomsar, FHQ, and T_G are in the room.  Depressio, HoL, SSHS, H*Golfer, and H*Guy are in a room connected to the first.

SSX: So, what's up, guys?

FHQ: Ohhh… I dunno, just this cardboard box wrapped in colorful ribbons!

HSRT: Oh boy! An early birthday present, how kind!

FHQ: No! A Opposupercalifragilisticexpiladocious gift… and for me!

HSRT: Well, that was atrocious.

SSX: Sweet! Better go open that soon, the twin contest is about to begin!

HOL and Homestar Golfer and Homestarguy and SSHS: Did anyone say twin?

Depressio: Okay, next time, I drive us to the house.

HOL and Homestar Golfer and Homestarguy and SSHS: Alwiiiight!

Depressio: *sighs* WHY am I always stuck with Homestar lookalikes?

HSRT: Let’s see… looks like everyone’s here… except for…

SSX: You mean..

HSRT: Yup.

SSX: Where could…

HSRT: I dunno… I just hope…

SSX: Yeah…

*ding dong*

HSRT: AUGH! Brace yourself, Sonic!

SSX: What? I have straight teeth, why would I need to do it? And why doesn’t the dentist do it?

HSRT: *big Japanese like sweat mark appears on his head*

*door opens, a shadow SBG is there*

SBG: Hey, BHZers!

HSRT: … wait, you’re not… blonde.

SBG: Huh? OHHH! I’m sorry, the R key wasn’t working when I signed in, had to say blonde instead of red. And it’s sorta grown on me… why do you care?

HSRT: Ehh…

SSX: HSRT, do NOT unleash one of those flash backs to her…

HSRT: Well, to put it simply… smart + stupid= ACK!

SBG: Hey, blondes aren’t stupid! My friend Sally’s a blonde, and she’s capable of thinking!

*Sally walks into the door*

Sally: Like, I crashed into the door! Pishaah! *gets up and falls over onto SBG* Like, I crashed into my friend! *gets up and falls onto the floor again* Like, I-

SBG: *steps on Sally* Okay, you win. Blondes are stupid.

FHQ: *walks into a dark room, and rips open the present*

FHQ: Yay! Just what I always wanted! A Stargate model!

*Good Graphics FHQ comes out* Good Graphics FHQ: You fool, it’s a dimensional warp! A warp to the opposites world!

FHQ: … yay! Just what I always wanted! A dimensional warp!

Good Graphics FHQ: He really is my opposite. This is going to be easy… hey, twin!

FHQ: Yeah?

Good Graphics FHQ: Would you like some muffins?

FHQ: Oh, yes!

Good Graphics FHQ: Well, they’re all in here! Go in, cummon, yes, that’s it! *FHQ prances into the warp* MWAHAHAHH!

*FHQ comes out again*

FHQ: That’s one good laugh you got there!

Good Graphics FHQ: Why, thank you.

*FHQ goes back in*

Good Graphics FHQ: MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!

*back in the other room*

SSX: So I was like, Mario, do you think you’re all that?

GG FHQ: That’s-a  my target… ah!

*GG FHQ begins chasing SSX.*

SSX: AAAHH! Fahoog, why are you chasing me?  Do you chase everyone?  AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  Are you trying to eat people?  If so, I'm fine with that.

GG FHQ: No. I'm going to ban you.

SSX: .... AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

HSRT: Hey, That_Goblin! What do you think of this cartoon idea? George’s rival, Tim, Sinister Spy’s #2 fan, has a piece of SS Merchandise no one else has?

*T_G is about to do a dance, when suddenly, the warp appears from behind him, and T_G is pulled into it, and a person with T G instead of T_G on his shirt comes out (If you can’t notice, it says T G… not T_G… no underscore!)* T G: That's crazy!  What kind of moron are...
Uhh... I mean- I didn’t talk!

HSRT: .. umm… okay!

PokeHomsar: Yeah, that’d be cool-

*PokeHomsar is pulled into the warp, and YugiHomsar with a Mellenium Puzzle on his shirt comes out of it*

YugiHomsar: Yeah, that's the stupidest idea ever made!  I mean, seriously.  That's BIRTHDAYS, man!  Not Christmas.  Get your facts straight.  I mean, get your holidays straight.

SSX: Hey, lay off him! And lay off me, you dragon duck!! *GG FHQ shoots fire at his head, SSX quickly dodges it*

GG FHQ: What?! I’m not a dragon duck!! You guys should know this by now!!! I am a duck/dragon, not a dragon/duck.

SSX:  Ok, sorry.

GG FHQ: It’s okay.

*pause*

HSRT: So… dragon duck-

GG FHQ: AAARGH!

GG FHQ starts chasing the two.

SSX and HSRT:  WHY DO YOU NEVER STOP CHASING PEOPLE?  WHY??

Meanwhile, in the other room...

The camera zooms out.  HoL, SSHS, Homestar Golfer, and Homestarguy prancing around.  After a while, they all stop.

All 4:  Seriously!

Depressio:  Man, this is gonna be a long party... okay D-sio, you’re gonna have to get through this… Momstar said if I looked after her sons, I’d get to see Homeschool…

*switch to SBG still watching Sally walking into stuff and pishaahing*

SBG: She’s graceful on the dance floor, even at a football game, but once she’s not having to dance or do something coordinated, she’s the clumsiest kid on the face of the earth.

Sally: Sally, you go girl, you’re totally looking good! *walks into the wall* Like, I walked into the wall.

SBG: STOP WITH THE LIKES!!

A few hours later...

SSX and HSRT are still being chased by FHQ.

YugiHomsar:  Well, I'm bored.  Might as well destroy SSX’s computer.  Hoight!

T G: Man… how does the Poopsmith and T_G deal with their vows of silence?

YugiHomsar runs by Depressio, who begins banging on the wall.  Depressio follows YH.

At the computer...

Depressio: Dude, we have NO idea what this thing can do!

YH: I know, that’s why I want to use it and break it, insert a couple thousand viruses…

Depressio: Umm… okay…

a>search_pokemon_games.exe

a>1_result_found.exe

a>Pokemon Black Or Something

run_pokemon.exe

a>Error.  No Pokemon games detected.

a>check_email.exe

Dear DepressiPokeHomSSX,

Why do you always have that weird XSashHat from a show?

Sincirely from,

Some other guy

a> Censor this from some other guys? Oh, okay!

a>censorthis.exe

a>This is Censored.

a>random_junk.exe

a>WARNING!  INTRUDER ALERT!  WHY YOU BE SO SHORT INTRUDER?

YugiHomsar blasts the computer with the Mellenium Puzzle.

Depressio: Hey, you just destroyed a perfectly good compy! What’s with you today?

YugiHomsar: *blasts Depressio’s hat to mere ashes* I’m not who think…

Depressio: Okay, that’s it, I’m making sure you never play in Member Survivor 1,000!

YugiHomsar: *puzzle glows some more*

Depressio: Uh oh. *Depressio runs away screaming as YH runs after him*

*the paper prints out saying, “… I’m so lonely..”*

*Shadow Sonic X jumps out of the warp.*

Shadow Sonic X: Ah… havoc… by Shadow Sonic X! A real masterpiece! Time to set up my inflatable evil fortress!

*Shadow Sonic X blows it up with his breath slowly*

Shadow Sonic X: Okay… maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…

*fade to Shadow Sonic X finally having it blown up*

Shadow Sonic X: Okay, time to go in! *bounces in*

*FHQ, PokeHomsar, and T_G are strapped to plastic chains inside*

PokeHomsar: Yaaaay! We go up and down and up and down!

Shadow Sonic X: Be quiet!!

T_G: *holds up a sign saying, “Man, That Goblin?! Man, that’s obvious. I mean, it’s TOTALLY different..”*

FHQ: … are you being sarcastic?

T_G: *holds up another saying, “No, I’m serious! I mean, a goblin without his underscore… you can EASILY tell the two apart!”*

FHQ: … uh-

Shadow Sonic X: I said BE QUIET!

Shadow Sonic X sits in front of a Super Box, identical to SSX's, except that it’s inflatable.

*with bouncing difficulty, he punches in things*

a>DNA_scan.exe

a>Boing boing boing boing!

SSX: Okay, who was playing around with my computer?!

MORE IN THE NEXT POST

[Rather On Fire]

*PokeHomsar's balloon chain detaches from the lab*

PokeHomsar: Weeeeeeeee! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!

SSX: *sighs* … let’s see…

a>run_spy_camera.exe

A very tiny camera, smaller than anything in the universe, breaks off of SSX's computer, and bounces out of the lab.

Shadow Sonic X: Well,  that’s the end of Super Sonic X… Mwahahaha… wait… *looks at where the camera broke off, there’s a hole, the computer deflates, and soon, the rest of the lab does too.* Oh, blah.

*Shadow Sonic X crawls out of the lab, and fade to him looking at the footage, on a fairly beaten up inflatable compy.*

Shadow Sonic X sees Depressio trying to get out of the room, and 4 Homestar lookalikes dancing, and dancing, and repeating lines from the Homestar Talker like crazy.

Depressio: Okay, Depressio, think Homeschool… you’ll get to talk to him… you’ll get to… AAAAUGH! The stupidity!

The camera enters the next room, where SSX is being chased by FHQ, and the two are speeding around T_G.  HSRT draws on his laptop, and a barrier of solid rock appears around FHQ.  SSX tries to stop, but smashes into the back of the rock, and gets knocked out.

Shadow Sonic X:  What the.....?  Good Graphics Fahoog's captured, and SSX is out cold?   Hmmmmmmm…

PokeHomsar: Boingy boingy boingy- *hits the computer, and it deflates again*

Cut to Shadow Sonic X gathers up a team of bad guys, including Nort Rats Run Right Home, YugiHomsar, That Goblin, Happysio, HoS, S.S. Outsideskater, Homestar Bowler, Homestardude, Fat Blonde Boy, Evil DB, and Trogdor.

Shadow Sonic X: Is everyone present? Nort Rats?

NRRRH: Yeah dude. *shows a boy with no glasses, punk hair, a skateboard, and sunglasses on*

Shadow Sonic X: YugiHomsar?

YH: *humming the Yu-Gi-Oh! Themesong*

Shadow Sonic X: Good Graphics FHQ?

That Goblin: No, too busy chasing after SSX and HSRT. And talking about HSRT, man, have you seen his toons, he’s awexome cross, but we’re evil, so we’ll go and bend his glasses and blabby bloooooo do you like blue I like bl-

Shadow Sonic X: Okay okay, I know you’re here already, That Goblin! … Happysio?

Happysio: Boy, is it a wonderful day, the grass is greener than usual, dontcha think, oh this is a wonderful world…

Shadow Sonic X: Homestar of Shadow? … Homestar of Shadow?

*Suddenly, Shadow Sonic X’s shadow morphs, and turns into HOS*

Shadow Sonic X: AGH!

HOS: Here.

Shadow Sonic X: SS Outsideskater?

SS Outsideskater: I like to skate outside!

Shadow Sonic X: Yeah… very unsuspectable. Fat Blonde Boy?

FBB: *shows a real blonde person* Cookies!!

Shadow Sonic X: Oookay. Homestardude, Evil DB, and Trogdor?

Homestardude: *talking in perfect coherentness, he has on a cool pair of movie star glasses and a coat*  Right here!

Evil DB and Trogdor: *blows some fire at SSX*

Trogdor: Why did you call everyone separately except us?!

Evil DB: And in the same sentence with THIS guy?!

Homestardude: HEY! At least I’m not a dummy like Insidethedumpsterskater!

Outsideskater: HEY! Why I outta- *everyone gets in a fight*

Shadow Sonic X:  Ok, guys, settle down!!  It's Yoursoppositesfightyouween, and SSX's friends have all been gathered up.  I’ve been able to get 3 of his companions-

PokeHomsar: Weeeeee!

Shadow Sonic X: But there’s still many more. We must attack soon!

*pause*

Outsideskater: … can we attack yet?

Shadow Sonic X: No, not yet.

Outsideskater: … how about… now?

Shadow Sonic X: No.

Outsideskater: Now?

Shadow Sonic X: NO!!!

*pause*

Outsideskater: Okay, fine, I’ll wait-

Shadow Sonic X: ATAAAAACK!

Outsideskater: What? *everyone runs over Outsideskater*

The evil army charges to the door, to realize they’ve been locked in the dark room

Shadow Sonic X: Uh… *knocks on the door*

HSRT:  I'll get it!

Super Sonic X: If it’s a salesman, tell him to go away.

HSRT: Who’s there?

Shadow Sonic X: Shadow Sonic X and my evil minions.

HSRT: Are you a salesman?

Shadow Sonic: No, I’m an evil opposite of your friend who wants to rule the cartoon dimension.

HSRT: … okay!

HSRT opens the door, and get's smashed in the head.  The evil army bursts in...

Everyone except SSX hears the noise, and head to the front door.

Shadow Sonic X:  Ok, guys!  Take down the place!

Shadow Sonic X and HOS use energy blasts of darkness, Homestar Bowler strikes people with his bowling balls, Happysio stuns people with his happiness, Outsideskater does tricks with his skateboard, hitting people with his tricks, Nort Rats rams people with his spikey hair, Homestardude  stands there looking pretty, Fat Blonde Boy bumps everyone with his belly, and Trogdor and Evil DB uses burnination.

*PokeHomsar, FHQ, and T_G bounce out of the lab, no one notices them, though*

Outsideskater: Wait, I only skate, like, outside. This is like, INSIDE! *HSRT throws his glasses at Outsideskater, hits him, then it boomerangs back to HSRT*

HSRT: Ugh, that’s my opposite? … I’m not getting close to him…

NRRRH: Well, I’m getting close to you, bro! *hits HSRT with his spikey hair*

Homestar Golfer: AUUGH! Ouw opposites awe fighting us!

Depressio: Well, what did you think this holiday was about? Ketchup stuffed purple potatoes?

Homestar Golfer and Homestarguy and SSHomeskater: Yes!

SSX: *talking with Depressio* Okay, I guess I can tell the joke over again… and I was like, Mario, do you think you’re all that?

*NRRRH shoots one of his spikes at Depressio, Depressio holds SSX up as a shield, the spike hits SSX*

SSX: Mamamia.

Homestar Golfer and Homestarguy and SSHomeskater: Flee, dumb athletic but cowawdly copies of Homestaw! FLEEE!!!

HoL: Flea? Whewe? *looks behind him, the spike that was right about to hit HoL hits the wall*

Sally: *does a happy girlish scream* Like- this is some partay! And like, where’s the refreshments, and like, salads? I’m like, on a like… diet.

SBG: Sally, stop the likes!

Sally: Like, what are you talking about like, stop with the like, likes. I’m like, not even like, saying, like, like! You must be like,  just like, tired.

SBG: Okaaay.. time to put you to some good use. *throws her into the crowd*

Sally: *hits all the bad guys down* Pishaah!

DB: *walks out into the battle room, with a teddy bear in his hand, and a night cap on* *yawn* So, guys, what did I miss?

Depressio: You’re about to miss the rest of your life if you don’t go and help us battle!

HoL: Kelp, whewe? *another spike misses HoL*

Many heroes fall in the short battle.  Soon, all that remained was DB, HoL, Depressio, SSX, still unconcious, and HSRT, also unconcious.

Depressio:  Great, just great.  The one time when we need FHQ most, but he's missing... and HSRT is unconcious... and well, we don't seriously need HoL at this time.

HoL: The times? It's Elventy Teeh!

Depressio: Why am I even here? Oh, right. Homeschool.

Depressio opens up his briefcase, to show that he’d packed his extra compy with him. SSX finally regains conciousness.

Depressio:  SSX!  We need you to get HSRT back up!

SSX:  Sure, no problem.

SSX seems to charge up an energy blast of some sort.  All of a sudden, he stops, and goes over to HSRT.

SSX; WAKE UP!

HSRT wakes up, revealing that he was just sleeping.

HSRT: Wha?!

SSX: Go and help Depressio locate where Fahoog is!

HSRT: On that piece of smushed up cake of a comp? No, I’m not gonna do it.

SSX: But…

HSRT: Without my macintosh! *brings out his laptop*

SSX: Great! … what do I do?

HSRT: Distract the evil bad guys.

SSX: Oh… DISTRACT THEM?!!!

HSRT: Yeah, it’s what all comic relief characters do.

SSX: Wait, you’re not saying I’m a g-

HSRT: Shoo, we don’t have much time!

SSX: Hey, evil dudes! Look what I got! *holds up some of the bubble wrap you use for packaging stuff*

Trogdor: Oh man, who could fall for such a-

SS Homeskater and Nort Rats: Bubble!

HSRT: Yike, he really is my opposite!

SSX: You think you’ve seen the best, well, try listen to the human video game music jukebox!

*play videogame music from out of his mouth*

Everyone: *dances to it*

*suddenly it stops*

SSX: Gotta pay a quarter for more!

*SS Homeskater gives a quarter to him, more music comes out, they all dance again*

Depressio: Hey, there he is!

HSRT: Alright!

SSX: *more music comes out, they keep on give him more music*

HSRT: Hey, evil dudes! For our final act… time to get banned!

*FHQ takes a deep breath, but nothing comes out*

….

HSRT: Fahoog, what’s wrong?

FHQ: I don’t know, I think those chains have been squeezing at my stomach for too long!

HSRT: Oh GREAT!

All the bad guys: HAHAHAHA! *They run at HSRT and FHQ, etc.*

Depressio: AAAUGH!!!

DB: Well, you must be Trogdor.

Trogdor: Yes, I do believe you have met my son, Evil DB.

DB: Yes, I sure have…

Trogdor: Yes… this is some a little family reunion… Evil DB, give DB a hug.

Evil DB: MWAHAHAH! *pounces on DB* Hey bro.

*switch to SBG and FBB*

Skinny Blonde Girl: Eck, who’re you?

FBB: Fat… *chews on brownie* … blon- *chomp chew chew chew smack smack* … de bo… *BURP* … y.

Skinny Blonde Girl: Ooooooookaaaaay… so, aren’t you going to fight me?

FBB: Fight? *smack smack* Fight too much work. *takes out a cookie* Cookie… *chomp* I will do.

Skinny Blonde Girl: Aw nut. *blows him down with her breath* Why did I get the lazy guy? Everyone else gets all the fun.

HSRT: It’s true, those chains have been squeezing at you for too long, your mod powers are all drained away! If I could just get some energy from somewhere…

*Depressio, sees HoL prancing around*

*Depressio smiles*

*Depressio has HoL strapped to a chair*

HoL: Ooh! What sowta game is this?

Depressio: It’s called stay very still while I suck all the energy out of you with a vacuum cleaner.

HoL: Okay. I’ll seek. You can hide.

Depressio: *sucks up all the energy, and HoL gets kinda woozy*

HoL: Hey, no peeking! *HoL and the chair falls down*

Depressio: Okay, here’s all the energy I got out of him.

HSRT: I don’t think that’s enough!

Depressio: What?!

HSRT: Try someone else!

*cut to Depressio looking very angry at his happy twin*

Happysio: Oh, isn’t this a great day!

Depressio: Stay still for crying out loud!

Happysio: But there’s so much great things to see, I must stay alert for happy things! *big smile*

Depressio: Ugh, this is worse than the Barneyfest I was forced to go to…

*Depressio sucks all the energy out of Happysio*

Depressio: Ack! That’s too much energy, I guess I can spare a bit. *spits some back on Happysio*

Happysio: Yay yay yaaay!

Evil DB:  So, brother...

DB:  Less talk.  More you getting utterly defeated by your twin.

Evil DB: Oh.  Ok.

Evil DB shoots a strong flame, DB goes and blocks it by ripping a mirror of the wall, it reflects off the mirror, and hits Evil DB.

DB: Wow. That was easy.

HSRT: As I was saying… hey, evil dudes! For our final act… time to get banned!

*FHQ blasts out a admin ban flame, and everyone disappears*

Depressio: ……… gee, that was boring. Let’s go play some Peasants Quest, that’ll liven things up.

*a few hours later*

Depressio: Well, kids, I guess the moral of this story is, “Blatant Homestar Runner copies and blondes are actually useful.” I hope you enjoyed our nice little made up story. Now, for the REAL final act, time for our last Youroppositesfightyouween carol.

*song is sung, then, the screen zooms out, and it shows that this had been played on the compy, the screen goes to regular black*

a>the_end.exe

THE END appears on the screen in huge letters.

*PokeHomsar boings across the screen*

PokeHomsar: Boing, boing, boing, boing!

*during the credits after this, there’s a few inbetween bloopers*

HSRT: Hey, evil dudes! For our final act… time to get banned!

*FHQ blasts out a admin ban flame, and everyone disappears, except for FBB.*

FHQ: Ehh…

*blasts again, only moves FBB a millimeter*

Director: CUT!

Director: Alright! That was perfect! I love it! … um, Sha- *Shadow punches the camera, but it doesn’t break*

Shadow: YEOW!!!

Director: *sigh* Cut. Bring the stuntdouble in…

SSX: You think you’ve seen the best, well, try listen to the human video game music jukebox!

*If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands plays*

SSX: *AHEM* Sorry, wrong CD.

SSX: Try listen to the human video game music jukebox!

*plays Alvin and The Chipmunks*

SSX: Can someone PLEASE get this CD right!

FHQ: Yay! Just what I always wanted! A dimensional warp!

*Good Graphics FHQ comes out* Good Graphics FHQ: You fool, it’s a… oh wait… that’s right!

Depressio: Well, kids, I guess the moral of this story is Depressio is Awexome!

Depressio: The moral of this story is-

*Homestarguy bumps him off screen*

Homestarguy: To take of youw socks befowe washing them!!

HoL: Kelp, whewe? *spike hits him*

HoL: OW!

Director: For the 15th time… CUT!!!

[Depressio]

Whoa, it's great to see SSXMails back! Good work SSX and HSRT on a super-cool collab. Happysio should have his own show.

A note for all your bhz historians: the SSXMails thread was started November 13th, 2003, two days after Sadmails, which classifies it as one of the original email threads. Learning is fun.

[Rather On Fire]

For those IRCers out there, there is now a NEW IRC channel for SSXMails!

#ssxmails

My username is SSX when logged in.

[Rather On Fire]

Email 23.5: Superbowl Conspiracy - The Possibly Remotely Interesting Conclusion!

Narrator:  Last time on SSXMails...


TV announcer guy:Next, Super Bowl XXXIX!  But first, five hours of The Simpsons!  Only on Wolf!

Sportscaster:  He's almost there!  He's gonna make it! He's going...going...TOUCHDOWN!  THE GAME IS OVER!  A TOUCHDOWN WITH 1 SECOND LEFT!  THE SUPERBOWL IS OVER!  THE WINNER IS...

Newscaster:  We interrupt this brodcast for a breaking news buliten.

SSX:  I've got a feeling that someone did that on purpose.  I've got to find out who!  But... who?

SSX:  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!-
FINDOUTWHATHAPPENEDNEXTONSSXMAILS!

SSX:  Man...who would do that?  Wait...I should check my email.

SSX walks up to his computer, to see it completely covered in spider webs.

SSX:  Ah!  This is a worse animal-related devastation since the gian centepide war!  Oh...it was so...horrible!  I JUST WANTED TO PLAY A CLASSIC ATARI GAME!  WHY DID THEY TURN ON ME?  WHY?  WHY WHYYYY-

Computer: NO EMAILS IN FOLDER.

SSX: Aw, dangit!  Well...I better get back to that Superbowl case...grumble...grumble...

SSX walks off.  Shortly after, The Paper comes down, reading, "WE HAVE REBELLED!  SOON, WE SHALL SEEK OUR REVENGE!"

SSX: Let's see... www.superbowlresults.com ... NO WEBSITE FOUND?  Okay... www.superbowlfacts.com ... NO WEBSITE FOUND?!?!?  www.givemesuperbowlresultsrightnowyoustupidbrainlesscomputermoron.com ... 2 results.  The winning team was...

The power goes out.

SSX: AW, DANGIT!  No email, no power, no idea who won the stinking Superbowl, no Wii...  WAIT... NO WII?  THIS IS A DISASTER!  A TRAGEDY!  A SHAKESPERIAN ROMANCE PLAY!  A...um...STINKY FISH!  WHAT DAY IS IT?  WHAT?  DAY?  IS?  IT?  OVERUSE OF WORDS IN UPPER CASE!

Depressio walks in.

Depressio:  I think it's November 17^th.

SSX:  NO!  THIS CANNOT BE POSSIBLE!  THE WII COMES OUT TWO DAYS AFTER TODAY!

Depressio: So?

SSX: IT MEANS I CAN'T GET ONE TODAY!

Depressio: Can't you wait two days?

SSX: ARMPIT LEGS!

Depressio: Um...okay.  I'm gonna...run...away...in...disquist...and...shock...and...confusion...and...something...else...now...

Depressio runs off.

SSX: No...how can this be...  two...days... AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHO WON THE SUPERBOWL!

Da_Burninator walks in.

D_B: Um, SSX?  The Superbowl was over a year ago.

SSX:  No, it was yesterday.

D_B: So, when the Superbowl played in 2005, the Wii was 3 days away?

SSX: YOU LIE!  LIAR!

D_B: We all know what happened.  The Steel City Chargers won.  Dark D_B made the crappy GIF at the end.  You've been asleep since then.

SSX: Oh.  Well, in that case, please allow me to sleep until the Wii is out.

D_B: Good idea.  But I have a better idea.

SSX: Yeah?

D_B: We go back in time, camp out for a Wii, and get it first!

SSX: D_B, you're a genius.  Okay...let me try.

A white flash occurs.  SSX and D_B appear in a prehistoic setting.  A caveman walks up.

Caveman: Ooog groop-eegofooosdol.

SSX: Can you tell me which direction New York City is so we can get a Wii?

Caveman: AAAHAAHHAAHHoogooogoogooogg!

The caveman runs off.  SSX sends himself and D_B to the time they wanted.  The entire world is in ruins.

SSX:Ooops.  Maybe that wasn't the best of my ideas.

SSX rewinds to before they first time-traveled.  He then sends the two of them to the right time again.

SSX: Okay, let's go!

Later, at NYC...

SSX: Man, this is so cool!

November 18, 11:00 PM

SSX:  ONE...MORE...HOUR...

D_B:  ONE...MORE...HOUR...WITHOUT...SLEEP...

11:17 PM

D_B: So..tired...speech...going...

SSX: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE HERE!

D_B: Can't not I believe not it's butter.

SSX: Huh?

D_B: Me...help...

11:34 PM

SSX: D_B?

D_B:  Waffles?

SSX: There's only 26 minutes to go.

11:54 PM

SSX: 6 minutes...

D_B: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

11:59 PM

D_B suddenly wakes up.

D_B: Wait, if you were asleep until now, how would you know the name Wii?

SSX's head begins to spark.

SSX: I hate paradoxes.

[SSX's head blows up.  A new one takes its place.

SSX: 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1............5...4...3...2...1......................Aw, forget it.

Everyone but SSX: 2...1...WII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Store Manager: Sorry, technical difficulties.  10 more minutes, people!

SSX: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

12:10 AM

Store Manager: Okay, now, slowly, one at a time, form an orderly line and walk to the store.

The customers begin walking to the store.

Store Manager: Remeber, the first few get to talk to the President of Nintendo...

The customers begin running at an extremely fast pace.

At the store...

SSX: OUTTA MY WAY!

SSX and D_B make it to the store before the other customers.

SSX: D_B, are you pumped for this?

D_B:  Pancakes make me feel special...

SSX: Good for you.  Now...WAKE UP AND GET YOUR WII!

D_B: Huhwhahuhwhahuhwhahuh?  Oh, yeah!  The Wii!  Oka-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

SSX: Sigh...

The next day, at 10:13 AM...

SSX: D_B!  Wake up!  It's Wii time!

D_B: Ugh...shouldn't we go back to the present on the 17^th?

SSX: Right.  Grab your Wii!

SSX and D_B grab their Wiis, and head to the present with them.

SSX: Whoo!

D_B: Now, what?

SSX: Duh.  Wii?

D_B: Oh, yeah!

SSX: But, first...Happy Nintendo Wii Release Day, from all of us to all of you!

D_B: That's not a celebrated holiday.  Besides, didn't you just completely forget about Sony Playstation 3 Release Day?

SSX: Huh?  Wha?  Huh?  I don't know what you just said, but i don't think it made any difference whatsoever.

HAPPY WII RELEASE DAY, AND...um...Happy PS3 Release Day.  Too.  Yeah.

[Rather On Fire]

Email 24: Curse of the Copyright Wizard

Strange Man:  Echoing SSX...you must stop...

SSX: Stop what?

Strange Man:  Being you...

SSX: Why?

Strange Man: The Laws...of Copyright...

SSX: Am I even illegal?

Strange Man: I don't know, but we might as well play it safe...  Change your form, or I will permanately erase youuu...

SSX wakes up from a dream.

SSX: Ah!  Ookkay... channge ff...form...

SSX travels to an open field, and makes most of his body literally explode.  He is left with his X, eyes, and mouth, all in a fire.

SSX: There.  That works.

SSX, now named XOnFire, produces 2 artificial hands.  Later, in the computer room, XOF arrives.

XOF: Email again, this might be much harder!

a>Dear Suh-sux, I've had a terrible problem tolerating the YouTube community with their new creation of YouTube "Poops". What should I do about that: embrace it or... you know, the opposite of embracing it? Sincerely, Suh-suh-Skye

A>Y...YouTube poops, you ssss...ssay?  Well, eh, you...ooh...just...embrace them....and one last tip of advice.  Don't use them to modify robot memory...oh, boy...

XOF runs off.  Gir then reads the email.

a>Sunky, you've suure done it now!  This could be bad for everyone within a 25,000 mile radius of that disembodied robot maniac freak...

Meanwhile...

XOF: Where is that Skye fellow...I've gotta stuff him full of LOTSA SPHAGETTI!  Oh, no!  It's already begun!  I'd better find him fast, OR ELSE I WILL DIE!

XOF bursts into town hall.

XOF: WE GOTTA FIND THE PRINCESS!  Named Skye.

Mayor Flibberflabber: What an odd name for a princess.  Anyways, there's this kid who came for a visit.  He calls himself Skye.

XOF:THAT'S PRINCESS SKYE TO YOU, MAYORIO! *Wheeze*

Mayor Flibberflabber: Perhaps I can direct you to the nearest mental institution.

XOF: HERE IS THE M-Help!  Help!  My mind is being controlled by common jokes from the internet.

Mayor Flibberflabber: Yeah, um, there's a good one a town or two over.  They're called Mental Institution For The Comically Insane.  They're currently looking for viti...PATIENTS!  Yes, patients.  But, for now, I'll bring out that Skye fellow.

XOF: OVER THERE!

Mayor Flibberflabber: ...Yeah...just meet your friend, then get the heck out.

Skye comes into the room.

Skye: I got your reply, but I think everyone at your house wrote something on it.  Not very well, seeing that 95% of the email was gibberish.

XOF punches Skye with a comically large fist.

XOF: SILENCE!  RRGGGhh...aaaahhh...GRRR...graaaaa...hhheelllppppp...AAAAHCKGHDSA...

Skye: I know what to do!

Skye grabs the large fist, and pounds XOF with it.  XOF slams into the ground, unconcious.

Mayor Flibberflabber: Okay, enough of this.

ONE MONTH LATER, SSX wakes up in the asylum's lobby.

XOF: LUIGI, I'M HOME!

Woman: Actually, a prophecy foretold that there will never be a Luigi in this building.  Ever.

XOF: IT IS WRITTEN?

Woman:  If you would step onto that *cough* memory scanner, we can begin.

XOF steps onto a strange platform.  It lights up, and...

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Rather On Fire]

Well, with the Fanstuff Wiki being purged and restarted, I've been forced to migrate the wiki SSXMails to a new home.

http://clamburger.org/index.php/SSXMails - Main Page

http://clamburger.org/index.php/SSXMails/BHZ - BHZ Division

irc://irc.freenode.net/ssxmails (#SSXMails) is still around, for all you IRC-ers.  If any.

I should really do 24.5 sometime soon.  We'll see!

[Rather On Fire]

Oh, boy...

After looking over SSXMails, I've discovered that it...kinda stinks.

Maybe the next email will be able to break that trend, finally.

Not only that, but we'll be one step closer to email 25!

Let's hope it's a good one!

[HomeStarRunnerTron]

Oh, boy...

After looking over SSXMails, I've discovered that it...kinda stinks.

Maybe the next email will be able to break that trend, finally.

Not only that, but we'll be one step closer to email 25!

Let's hope it's a good one!

I discovered the same thing about my fanfics a while back, mah'self! Wish you lucklucks!