ClockMails #31 & #32: "Catch that Cheat!" and "This is Halloween?!"

[ChocolateMetal]

I don't even know where to begin.

Well, first off, when I read the Constantine part, I stopped reading, got up, ran around and did a backflip. (Well, OK, I probably would paralyze myself if I attempted a backflip, so I just sorta jumped in the air.) And then, of course, there was Y_D's audition, and Ran as William Hung = priceless. And let's not forget VP and the rapping and the ClockBloc and the subsequent bashings in the CHAT ROOMS, ng-hey!

*listens to your awesome demo song on repeat*

Witty Way Of Saying Perfect Score Here!

[The Chort]

Wow...

That's gotta be the best ClockMail ever. In fact, I'm hard pressed trying to think of a single Fan Email thing that could top that...

The Chort actually said "Y'all!" correctly! I'm overjoyed!

Ran's appearance was super cool, along with the other cameos. I always love it when Y_D shows up and smacks somebody around, especially RClock.

Overall, I couldn't have asked for more...

Rock on, and keep 'em coming.

[Eh_Greg]

GReat clockmail! I loved the part with ran the man, and i loved The Sneak in that!

Keep them comin'!

[Strong_Lufis]

I have to say. That was quite good.

Who am I kidding, that was great.

10/1 x 10^-32

[RClock]

*We see Ivan suiting up. Radiation suit, goggles, reinforced body armour, helmet, hearing protection, and some Mentos for good measure. He stares into a blinding light*

Ivan: Do your worst.

RC (intruding obnoxiously): Hey, Ivan! What's the skinny?

Ivan: Stand back, RClock. There are too many of them. I must face them... alone.

RC: Uh... Ivan? It's just cleaning the fridge.

*We see the light is coming from the refrigerator*

Ivan: This fridge is not to be taken lightly, RClock. When potato salad goes bad, it goes BAD.

RC: I think you're exaggerating just a tad, comrade. Most of that stuff is perfectly edible!

*A bowl of creamed corn suddenly falls out of the fridge. A spotlight hits it. Music swells. The creamed corn grabs a hat and a cane*

Corn (singing): Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello, my ragtime gal... send me a kiss by wire... baby, my heart's on fire...

*The creamed corn soft-shoes its way to the door*

Corn: If you refuse me, honey, you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone; oh baby, telephone... and tell me I'm your own!

*He slams the door behind him*

RC: I'd still eat it.

*Ivan looks disgusted*

RC: ...What?

Mr. Teatime: Hey, could ya close the door, mac? You're letting out all the cool air! You wouldn't want me to get freezer burn, would you?

Ivan: How long have you been in here?

TT: Since last week. Trouble is you guys don't look in here very often.

RC: I hate only existing twice a month.

Ivan: Ivan has no time for chitter-chatter. This refrigerator must be cleaned! The petrified devilled ham will be chipped away!

TT: You're not serious!

Ivan: The fermented whipped potatoes will be fumigated!

TT: No...!

Ivan: And finally...

TT: Don't say it!

Ivan: That congealed yellow stuff will be scraped OFF the back wall!

TT: NO! NOT THE YELLOW STUFF! It's my only unconditional friend!

RC: Don't mind me. I'm just the reason this thread exists.

Ivan: The cleaning begins now!

*He activates his thermal-radioactive Scumcinerator 4001*

TT: Don't do it, Ivan! You're making me break out in dressing!

Ivan: What's the matter, Mr. Teatime? Are you ...CHICKEN?

TT: Hey, uh, RClock? Do me a favour, man. Since I have a bizarre feeling that I'm not going to survive this, could you answer that e-mail I sent you a real long time ago?

RC: You bet your giblets, Two-O'Clock Special. Off I go!

*He exits*

Ivan: Carpe diem! Charge!

*He boldly charges into the refrigerator, Mr. Teatime in tow*

TT: The only thing I really regret is that I never learned to play the concertina. That and the Tigers not winning last year, but I guess that didn't really have anything to do with that...

*Ivan and Mr. Teatime end up going right into the fridge. The door slams behind them. We now hear their voices in the darkness*

TT's voice: Beware, little children, of the green goblin that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys! Beware, take care! Take care, beware! Pull the string! PULL THE STRING!!!

Ivan's voice: Will you shut up?

TT's voice: Sorry. I was adding atmosphere.

*The two suddenly emerge from the darkness into a snow-covered plain*

Ivan: Mother Russia? Is that you?

TT: Hmm. I don't recall the freezer being that large before...

*A very pale woman on a dogsled appears*

Witch: Here, children. Have a Turkish Delight!

Ivan: Bizarre. What is Joan Rivers doing here?

TT: Hey, free candy!

*Back to a characteristically oblivious RClock*

RC: Hmmm. Maybe before I answer my e-mail I should help The Chort clean out the chimney.

*The Chort is poking around the chimney with a long brush*

TC: Great cadiddlehoppers! When was the last time somebody cleaned this...

*CRASH! A skeleton in a Santa Claus suit falls from the ceiling crashes to the floor*

TC: I don't believe this!

RC: Well, that'd explain why we didn't get any presents last year.

TC: Does this little segment have any further purpose?

RC: Nope! To the fabulous e-mail machine!

*To the computer*

RC: E-mail is clean, and e-mail is good, we're glad that we have e-mail in our neighbourhood!

--
To Our Clock,

What, exactly, precisely, and specifically, is Ivan? I mean, he somewhat resembles a very pale lima bean...and a Russian one, at that...could you specify for us?

Sincerely someones,
-Mr. Teatime
--

Aww, ain't that sweet. I'll be sure to read this out at his funeral next month. Anyhoo...

What is Ivan? He's a Homeschool Winner.

THE END

Psyche! Technically, he is a Homeschool Winner, but I think I can stretch this puppy out for a few more pages. The best way to learn about somebody's physiology is to ask them themselves. So, without further ado, or adon't, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's...

*We cut to the now empty kitchen*

RC (bursting in): IIIIIIIIIIII-van's... not here? Where the heck did he go? He and that nutty bird were here mere moments ago. Hmmm. Maybe he's in his lab.

*He walks through the hall. He meets Blondie*

RC: Hey, Magic Blonde. Have you seen Ivan?

SBG: Oh, yeah. I've seen him.

RC: Good. Where did...

SBG: Like yesterday, I saw him, and he was... um, something, and then I saw him this morning, and last night, and two weeks ago...

RC: Uh, Blondie...

SBG: And three, no, four days ago, I saw a picture of him, and last Wednesday I saw a cloud that looked like him but wasn't... and I thought I saw him on TV once, but I think it was somebody else...

RC: Blondie...

SBG: And sometimes... when I close my eyes... I see, like, an ocean, only it's light green, and when I close my eyes really, REALLY tight it gets all red, and sometimes I get scared and have to open my eyes again...

*RC walks off*

SBG: And yesterday, I saw a squirrel, but he didn't stay... he just looked at me and ran...

*RC enters Ivan's lab*

RC: Nope, not here either. Bah. How do you like a guy running off like that, when there are e-mail readers clamouring for closure! Fie on you, Ivan! I spit on you and your fancy equipment. A big old p-tooie!

*He spits, conveniently enough, into the feed tube of a DNA sampler*

Sampler: DNA received. Sample confirmed as subject: RClock.

*A 3-D model of RClock appears onscreen, along with a diagram of his DNA strand*

RC: Holy cool! Now all I have to do is scrape the room for some residual Ivan DNA, and we'll have all the info we need!

*He flips some dandruff into in the feed tube*

Sampler: DNA received. Sample confirmed as subject: Ivan.

RC: See! There's his DNA right there! Check out that double helix, ladies! Not everybody's protein bonds twine like that! Well, I guess this is all we need to... to... ARRRGH! This thing is way too much fun to mess with! I've gotta do everybody!

*He runs around like a blur. We see The Chort lugging a soot-covered bag from the chimney*

TC: I wonder if those capris I asked for last year are in here...

*RC jumps in and plucks a hair from atop The Chort's head*

TC: Ow! Don't touch the hair! You hit my hair!

Sampler: DNA received. Sample confirmed as subject: The Chort.

*We see SBG still talking in the hallway*

SBG: And once, I saw a snail crawling along the edge of a straight razor... Ooey-Gooey was his name...

*RC plucks a lustrous auburn lock without SBG being the wiser*

Sampler: DNA received. Sample confirmed as subject: Skinny Blonde Girl.

RC (crazed): This is too much fun! DNA samples... GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!!

*We see Choco asleep in her bed. RClock steps in with a pair of scissors. The violins from Psycho play*

RC: Is this a pair of scissors I see before me?

*He raises the scissors, his shadow huge on the wall*

CM (softly, in her sleep): Mmmmm.... ranch dressing...

*RC's frenxy dies down*

RC: Aww. How cute.

*He instead pulls out a Q-tip and runs it across her tooth*

RC: This'll do.

*He leaves a sleeping Choco behind*

Sampler: DNA received. Sample confirmed as subject: ChocolateMetal.

RC: This thing is awesome! Well, I may as well go all the way...

*We see Peopletriedtofademe's Clips & Clops hair salon. VP is there, her hair in curlers. The Sneak has a poodle cut*

VP: SO THEN VANILLAPLASTIC SAID; "YOU GO, GIRLFRIEND!" AND SHE WAS ALL "NO, I DO NOT PLAY THAT!" TO VANILLAPLASTIC...

TS: *snort*

*Back to the lab*

RC: On second thought, I won't go all the way. I hate mousse. But either way, this thing is cool! I'll remember this for future use!

*He leaves, bumping a button on the way out*

Sampler: As per your request, the received samples have been combined. Processing amalgam...

*A gross blob of protoplasm splats out of the machine*

Protoplasm: Happy birthday to ME!

*Back to the kitchen. The refrigerator door suddenly bursts open. Ivan and Mr. Teatime, wearing king's crowns, tumble out of the refrigerator, somewhat charred*

TT: WOO! What a rush!

Ivan: Perhaps introducing nuclear weapons to our kingdom was a mistake.

TT: Oh, whatever, Mr. 20/20 Hindsight. It was YOU who decided to declare war on that Middle-Earth dive.

Ivan: Strange. We've been gone for 20 years, and yet this place is exactly as we left it.

TT: Yeah. I see their tastes in interior decorating haven't changed.

*Ivan heads away from the kitchen. He sees RClock at the computer*

RC: So you see, loyal reader, you can now download Ivan's DNA from any number of bootleg geneology sites, so go nuts out there! Good night, America, and all the ships at sea!

Ivan: RClock, have you been selling Ivan's genetic code online again?

RC: Purely in the interest of science, Ivanhoe. Knowledge belongs to the world! I'm gonna go to the kitchen and tell Mr. Teatime the good news!

*He goes to the refrigerator and opens it*

RC: Don't wig out on me, but your e-mail is hereby... answered!

TT: Way to go, RClock. Ah, live is good. Right, sweetheart?

Protoplasm (lovingly): You said it, Chicken Fingers.

RC: Aww, that's adorably gross.

TT: Hey Clocksby? Could I ask you a favour?

RC: What's that?

TT: Could I be a recurring character? I could be your Kramer!

RC: No way, man. I'm my own Kramer.

TT: Aw, come on. From the looks of this place you don't exactly have outlandish standards.

RC: Let's see a resume first, mister. Everybody had to submit one. Even Choco!

TT: That looks like a picture of her with lipstick on it.

RC: I, uh, g'uh, well... that's beside the point.

TT: Or maybe, I could just stay in the refrigerator and poke out every now and then and make a goofy comment! ...Like Magic Johnson on the Super Mario Bros. show!

RC: Is there a history of insanity in your family?

TT: Not yet!

RC: Good night, Mr. Teatime.

TT: So, you'll let me know when you'll reconsider, right?

*RC slams the door*

RC: Weird things are happening in this little old e-mail thread. Speaking of weird things, I wonder what Choco's doing. She's only had, like, one line this episode.

SBG: I've seen her, RClock!

RC: Oh, good heavens, don't start!

SBG: She was in a sack, and some guy in black was running off with her. I waved at her, but she didn't wave back.

RC: Uh oh. Not good. Looks like this is a cliffha...

THE END

[ChocolateMetal]

DUN DUN DUN! What will happen to our hapless heroine? Stay tuned for partial excitement!

Now I won't sleep FOREVER...

[MBD123]

That title sounds very much like "The Lion, The witch, And The Wardrobe"

9.999.9999.99.9/10

[Mr. Teatime]

I think, if I've noticed a pattern in these titles, the parody was intentional.

'Twas good. Nuclear weapons + mideivel kingdom = pretty awesome (for a fantasy geek like me, anyway).

[Snakewater]

That was really good!! 99/100!! Keep em'...coming!!

Best line: " I, uh, g'uh, well... that's beside the point."

[Falcon0281]

Great Jorb, RClock!

110%!!!!!

-The Eater of Plushies

[The Chort]

Once again, you're writing is superb. I loved the email, and the Teatime cameo was perfect. As always, I will continue to diligently watch the Smells like...Email Section for your next update.

Infinity/AweXome (Whatever that means...)

[RClock]

*We see a shrivelled old man watching RClock on monitors in his sinister citadel*

Old Man: So, you think you're so clever, my little jackaninny? Well, like the spider said to the fly, "come into my parlour". And I have just the jug of apple cider for you, my pretty. By the time I'm through with you, your head will be playing "Dixie" every time the wind blows! Oh, my impressionable young boy with his nose pressed against the bakery window of my evil schemes, there will be no jelly rolls for you today! Only DEATH! With cream cheese!

*Darlon, the evil mastermind, steps in*

D: Hey Grandpa, they said that you have to go back to the home now.

Old Man: I'll get you yet, Doc Savage!

*They take him away*

D: Eww. He got Geritol all over my chair. Now where were we...? Ah, yes. My plot. RClock will get that e-mail I sent him over 3 months ago today, due to... uh... the magic of the Internet. And then he will be finished!

*Darlon's assistant Senor Driller, the Lurking User, shuffles in*

SD (Peter Lorre voice): Ohhhh massssshter, our eeeeenFORcer has arRIVED with a bag of... CHOColate for you. *nyeh-heheheheheheheh*

D: Ah, excellent. For it is not enough for me to take on RClock's e-mail thread. What better way to crush him than to come onto his girlfriend as well?

SD: BUT of COURSE, massssshter. And NOOOOObody ez as MANLY as YOU!

D: Indeed, indeed. Let's watch the poor stupe try to handle the news.

*They turn to the monitors. We see RClock asleep on the couch*

RC: Zzzzz... Red Five, you've lost your starboard engine...

*WHACK! Something hits him on the head, waking him up*

RC: THREE MARKS AT TWO-TEN! Huh? What...?

*We see Potthole standing over him with a truncheon*

PH: BHZPD, son. I'm ready to arrest you for loitering!

RC: Oh, come on. I've only been sleeping on this couch since... uh... August?

PH: You don't just leave an e-mail thread on a cliff hanger for six weeks! It's bad for business! Don't forget who holds the lease!

RC: Oh, right. Okay, man. I'll go answer an e-mail right now!

PH: Aren't you going to go save ChocolateMetal from the kidnappers?

RC: What kidnappers?

PH: The ones that... don't you remember?

RC: Hey, YOU try sleeping on the couch for six weeks. It ain't easy.

PH: Ohhhhh, I'm not getting paid enough for this.

*To the computer*

RC: Okay okay okay. Whaddya got for me? Hopefully not another one of those stupid IQ tests that I keep scoring 27 on...

--
Dear RClock,

Hello, I have sent a E-mail to your little kid self. Here's the message I did:

"Hello, Kid RClock,

I have made a new program, called "virus".
If you're reading this E-mail, you have "virus".
Congradulations!

Signed,
Darlon"

Heh heh heh...and it will spread to every computer you ever had thanks to my amazing mind, giving your every computer a delightful "BOOM!" as soon as you buy it, forcing you OUT of the E-mail world, and into the Snail-mail world! This will take effect in 1 day, and if you don't, you'll forget all about the current time line, and never be able to get back to it!

You'll be a hobo-like person, begging for money, not knowing that your life used to be this way. I WILL HAVE DESTROYED CLOCK-MAILS! And pretty soon, all of the E-mail threads!

Chwoka's Evil Twin,
Darlon
--

*blink, blink* ...Oh, is that all?

Geez, dude. I'm sorry, you must have me mixed up with the Pulitzer Society, because that's the only reason I can think of for sending that novel. Hey, wait a minute...

You want to destroy me? You can't do that! That's against the... uh... well, it's not very nice. Got that, Lieutenant Darlon? Do you realize what the world would be like without Clockmails? Well, I'll show you!

*The White House explodes*

Oops. I accidentally put Independence Day in the VCR. How'd that get there? Where's that stupid alternate universes tape? *rummage, rummage*

TC: RClock, just so you know, the rest of the universe switched to DVD quite some time ago.

RC: It's a plot! That's what it is! Ah, here we are. See the dystopian alternate future in a world... where ClockMails never was.

*We see a city*

RC: There! See how it's affected the very fabric of society?

TC: Absolutely nothing's changed.

RC: Well, it's... subtle! Insidious!

TC: People are abolishing crime and singing "Shiny Happy People" in the streets.

RC: And are we just going to sit back and let that happen? What are we, mice or men?

TC: Uh... neither, actually.

RC: My point exactly. Something must be done! Why, if I wasn't answering e-mails, I'd be...

*We see a fantasy sequence. RClock, dressed in rags with a long beard, pops up in somebody's windshield with a rag*

RC: Hey mister! I'll clean your windshield for a quarter! Hey, did ya know I used to be RClock?

*The driver turns on the wiper fluid*

RC: AUUUGGGGHHH! Wiper fluid! My one weakness!

*He melts into a puddle*

*Back to reality*

TC: That was awful!

RC: I know! I look terrible with a beard!

TC: So, what should we do?

RC: Well, I have two choices. Either check myself into the Forgotten Pop Culture Icons Home, or...

TC: Set out to stop the evil genius and save Choco all by yourself?

RC: Whoa! Good one, dude! Way better than what I had in mind!

TC: Uh... I kinda thought that was what you DID have in mind...

RC: Oh, not really. Mine involved bacon.

TC: ...Oh. I'm not gonna ask.

RC: No, you're not. I'm gonna go train myself to the pinnacle of human perfection for the upcoming battle!

TC: Uh... don't you think Choco's gonna wonder why it takes you 300 years to get to her?

RC: Ho ho, funnyman. It is to laugh.

TC: Actually, I've never been more serious in my life.

RC: Well, that just goes to show that when I become the pinnacle of physical conditioning, you'll be the "they" in "And they said it can't be done!" Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch Richard Simmons' Disco Hernia right now.

*He leaves*

TC: Uh... you do know that you have to do more than just WATCH, right?

*Meanwhile, our villains scheme outside of Choco's holding cell*

D: And now, my little toady, comes the next part of my twisted scheme.

SD: Ohhhhhh, YES, masssssshter. I can BAREly conTAIN myself with the anTEEEciPATION! *nyeheheheheheh*

D: I will put her under my spell as only I can. I will enter the room, convince her that there is no escape, and then...

SD: Yessssss?

D: I will sing "If I Didn't Care". In the Ink Spots arrangement! And no woman could resist that!

SD: Ohhhhhh, the EEEEENK SPOTS arrangement! EXcellent choice, massssshter! *nyeheheheheheh*

D: Senor Driller, could you answer me something?

SD: Of COURRRRRRSH, massssshter. Your very reQUEST is my COMMAND! *nyeheheheheheh*

D: Why are you still doing that stupid Peter Lorre voice?

SD (normal voice): Eh, I dunno. I think it adds character. I could do somebody else if you want. How about John Wayne?

D: That's really not necessary...

SD (as John Wayne): Ya gonna defeat RClock, aren't ya, pilgrim? Then you'll be the most powerful guy... ah-round!

D: Actually, that's worse.

SD (as Bill Cosby): Of course, the Jello Puddin' Pops and self-windin' Kodak film is de most a-boopinest a-heh-a-heh-a-heh...

D: Shut up!

SD: Shutting up, sir.

D: Now watch as I steal her heart away from RClock forever!

*He goes in the door, closing it behind him. Music can be heard through the door. Suddenly the music stops. Darlon staggers out, doubled over*

SD (as Carol Channing): Oh, isn't that precious.

*Darlon hits Senor Driller*

*Back at Chez ClockMails, RClock is lying on the couch, watching TV*

Richard Simmons: All right, darlings, we're gonna sweat, sweat, sweat, until we're as trim as we can get, get, get! Thin is in and stout is out!

RC (eating a tub of chip dip with a spoon): Preach it, Richard! *slurp*

TC (coming in): Hey, RClock...

RC (suddenly pretending to do sit-ups): Ah... eight billion and one, and a nice, even, eight billion and two. Oh, hi, The Chort! I almost didn't see you come in. I've done so many of these I can barely sit up.

TC: I've been watching you for the last ten minutes.

RC: Crap.

TC: RClock, you're running out of time here.

RC: Oh, you mean because it's only a matter of time until the evil virus retroactively destroys me and the villain has Choco permanently in his grasp?

TC: Yeah, but mostly because Potthole's writing an eviction notice.

RC: Oh, come on! The delay hasn't been that long, has it?

PH (poking his head in): It certainly has!

RC: Okay, okay.

PH: We thought you were dead!

RC: Well, uh...

PH: We held a funeral!

RC: Really?

TC: It was nice, really.

PH: I baked a cake!

RC: Aw, that's sweet of you. What kind?

TC: Coffee, I think.

PH: Now get out there and do something so this e-mail thread can continue!

RC: All right, all right. I'll just finish my quote-unquote workout here, and...

Ugly Pilates Lady: ...And if you're so inept you can't even do that, just follow Dagney, and make fun of her name in the process.

RC: Okay, I'm done. Off I go!

*He runs downstairs*

RC: Goodbye, all! I'm off to... what's going on here?

SBG: Ivan wants to be King again, so he's been cramming himself into all the cupboards trying to get back to that other place.

RC: Ah. Typical Saturday.

Ivan: For everybody knows that the easiest way to go back is... THROUGH THE WARDROBE!

*He runs into the nearest wardrobe. CRASH.*

Ivan: Ouch! Wardrobe malfunction!

RC: Well, I'm off to save Choco and hopefully keep us all from no longer existing.

SBG: Okay, RClock! Have fun! Buy me something!

RC: I sure will. Off I go, into the sunset!

*He goes off into the sunset*

RC: Man, this hurts the eyes.

TC: Isn't he going the wrong way?

SBG: Yep. I hope he buys me something expensive. Like... a truck. Made of chocolate! Mmm. I'm gonna go upstairs and think about that right now!

*She leaves*

TC: And to think I left the dance academy for this...

*Meanwhile, back at Darlon's citadel...*

*Darlon storms into Choco's cell*

D: All right, missy. No more Mr. Nice Guy now.

CM: If you try to sing again, I'll give you a permanent soprano voice.

D: No music this time. Just blunt facts. That nimrod RClock is on his way to rescue you as we speak, and if you'll agree to join my harem, I promise that I'll let him live, and without even disfiguring him too much.

CM (laughing): Harem?

D (defensive): Yes, a harem! What's so funny about that?

CM: How many are in this alleged harem?

D: Oh, hund... doz... severa... well, a couple of... of...

CM: *laughs hysterically*

D: It's a WORK IN PROGRESS, okay? You have to start somewhere!

CM: So, you want to make a deal with me, then?

D: Yes, I do. And don't laugh at me anymore. It hurts my feelings.

CM: Well, why don't we have a little contest, then?

D: Ah yes. Your freedom and RClock's life in the balance? What a tempting prize. Name your competition, my dear. I guarentee I cannot lose.

*Choco puts two shot glasses on the table*

D: Ah, how novel. I'll have you know that I'm more than capable of...

*Choco puts a large sack of sugar on the table*

D: Huh?

CM: You first, buster.

D: Oh, fine. Bottoms up!

*He fills his first glassful of sugar*

WILL OUR HYPERACTIVE HEROINE HAIL TRIUMPHANT IN THIS HYSTERICALLY HARSH HONEYED HEAD-TO-HEAD?

WILL RCLOCK RALLY AGAINST THE RACUOUS RAPSCALLION'S REVENGE AND REGAIN HIS RIGHTFUL RANK?

WILL POTTHOLE PERMANENTLY PREVENT THE POSTING OF THIS POTBOILER IN PERPETUITY, POINTING OUT ITS PROLONGED PROCRASTINATION?

WILL THE CHORT CHOOSE TO CHAMPION A...

TC: Stop the alliteration already!!!

OH, FINE.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR OUR NEXT JAW-DROPPING EPISODE:

THREE CHEATS TO THE WIND

or

DON'T CLOCK THE BOAT

[Faded]

The voices of SD made me bauling laughing! Wonderful job

[potthole]

Oh my gosh, I had missed these things so much!  Great work, as always, Clocky!  'Twas a great read before I head off to classes for the day!  I'm really enjoying how this story is unfolding, I can't wait to see where it goes!

*The White House explodes*

Oops. I accidentally put Independence Day in the VCR. How'd that get there?

SD (as Bill Cosby): Of course, the Jello Puddin' Pops and self-windin' Kodak film is de most a-boopinest a-heh-a-heh-a-heh...

Ah, funny stuff, I tell you what.

[Mr. Teatime]

Oh man, oh man, oh man. That was awesome. As always. Seriously, great job.