ChorTrilogy 3 - The Final Chronicles of The Chort - Complete

[The Chort]

Chapter 4 - Nocturnal

So, like I said, it'd been about a year and a half since our last battle with The Chort. Our training sessions were still goin' strong, and our boys were improrving in leaps and bounds.

But we knew that it wouldn't go on like this forever. Sooner or later, The Chort was gonna rear his head again.

And so he did.

I was lying in my bed, in tha middle of the night. Okay, maybe I was lying on one of tha benches in da locker room, but let's not nitpick.

I wasn't sleeping very well, but that was nothing new. I couldn't honestly say that I'd had a good night's rest since before The Chort's first attack. All of a sudden, I awork with a start. A cold sweat overtook me as I thought back to tha nightmare. The Chort had been staring me down, then ran at me, wielding his golf clorbs. Right when his attack was gonna connect with me, I woke up.

I squornted to try to look arornd in the darkness of the locker room. Nothing at all, it was too dark to see my own hand in frornt of my face. I fumbled for the light swortch.

When I found it, the brightness momentarily blinded me. I heard a soft scuffling around the other side of the room. When I opened my eyes, there he was.

There was no doubt about it. About a foot tall, covered with blue fur with a few scattered black spots. A sinister grin flashed across his face. His grip tightened around the 3-Wood in his paws.

"Meh, mehee meh!" he yelled as he leapt towards me.

He flew at me while winding up. I frorze in my tracks. All the training I'd been through flashed in front of my eyes. He was a second away from connecting with my cranial region, when I took action.

I dodged backwards, ending in a sorta crab position. The Chort's clorb wizzed right above me, and the wind it caused blew my cap orf.

A crash reverberated through the room as his blow smashed through several lockers. The Chort's beady little eyes narrowed as he pulled his clorb from the twisted metal.

As he started back towards me, I rolled backwards, right next to my bench. I reached underneath it, pulling out my porching wedge I'd stashed there, just in case.

Soon, the room was filled with the sound of metal on metal. It was clear instantly that even though I'd gotten way better in the past months, so had The Chort. There would be no victory for me tonight. But that didn't matter. I still had a chance to warn the others, and maybe even get outta there alive.

Unfortunately fer me, while I was thinking about my plan of attack, The Chort seized the opportunity. He swung his 3-Wood with all his might, sending me flying into a wall.

Everything was starting to get dark and hazy, but I knew what I had to do. If I could only get to my office, I could trigger the alarm, and warn everyone, so The Chort wouldn't be able to sneak up on anyone else.

My right eye had swollen almost shut, but I knew the locker room like the back of my hand. I'd even practiced this exact situation, just in case. A blurry blue creature was in between me and the alarm. I drew all the strength I could muster for one last charge.

I hurtled straight at The Chort, running as fast as I could. Ten feet before I reached him, I made my move.

I chunked my porching wedge straight at him. In the split second when he was blocking my clorb, I jumped into the air. My clorb careened into the showers, but The Chort couldn't stop me. I landed on the other side of his still moving as fast as I could.

He whipped around just in time to watch me hit the alarm. In an instant, he had dashed to tha door, and back out into the night.

All across Free Country, U.S.A., sirens began to blare, lights began to flash, and fighters awoke. Our battle was ready to begin.

[skinny_blonde_girl]

Wow! Great stuff. It's really hard for me to get into fighting sequences, but this one had me gasping at every turn. Can't wait for the next chapter.

[Depressio]

That was awesome TC! It always amazes me how you can write in Coach Zish all the time! Keep up the great work.

[The Chort]

Thanks, guys. I like getting feedback on my stories.

For me, the training and rising action just weren't exciting enough, so I had to throw a battle in there. Hopefully you'll enjoy what I've got in store for you for the Final Climactic battle of the ChorTrilogy...

[The Chort]

Chapter 5 - Muster

It was three o'clork in tha mornin', but but I was wide awake. I had reached the clearing where Bubs' Concession Stand used ta be. Soon I had navigated the maze of briars and hedges Marzipan had grown. Upon reaching tha middle, I beheld the remians of tha Tandy and Compy. Bubs had spliced them together to form a password-lorked door. I entered my password "fademe" and a familiar elevator emerged from tha ground.

As I stepped out of it, everybrady rushed in around me. Strong Mad hoisted me above his head and rushed me to one of the cots. As Marzipan bandaged my wounds, I recounted everything that had happened.

As I finished my tale, a silence feel over my companions. We knew that we had been working for the very hour that had now come upon us. Eventually, Homestar broke the quiet.

"Alwight, guys. It's time to put our mewit badges where our mouths awe."

"Homestar, if that hadn't been so incredibly idiotic, it mighta actually been inspirational!" said Strong Bad. "But right now, we need to form a plan of some type. Pom Pom, as our official strategist, what do you think?"

"Bubble bubble bubble bubble..."

"Yeah, we could do that, but we'd need to get the others. I still can't see very well, there, who alls here, and who's campin' down at the KoT's?" I asked.

"Well, right now we're still workin' on contactin' the castle. The alarm system shut off about an hour after you started it, so I'm guessin' that The Chort took out the electric and phone wires," said Bubs. "But don't worry about them over at the KoT's. The Cheat was in the grill, So we're thinkin' that him, the KoT, The Poopsmith, and maybe That Goblin are all setting up base there. We've got all three Strongs, myself, Homestar, Pom Pom, and Marzipan."

"We're all accounted for Coach Z. Don't worry about Carol, either, because I locked her  up very safe in my basement. If you'll just drink this herbal tea, you'll feel better, and I'll look for the spare batteries for the walkie talkies so we can contact The Cheat."

"Thanks, there, Marzi, I approrciate it, but I'm feelin' better already. While you try to get in touch with the others, I think we should visit the armory, and get suited up."

And with that, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Hamstray, and myself followed Bubs to his weapons chamber.

"HYou guys had better be ready for your surpises when you pick up your clubs..."

"Bubsy, ya didn't hafta do anything big!"

But as soon as we entered, I was astornished. There before me was the very clorb I had used against The Chort in our last battle! My good old putter had been bent so badly in my fight while I fended off The Chort in our "Battle in the Branches," that I had left it, fearing it would never be usuable again.

But there she was, my precious putter!

"Bubs! How'd you do it? She was bent beyond repair!"

"Well, If you'll notice, I actually welded it onto a brand new, titanium alloy putter. She's got twice the strengths of your old putter with half the weight!"

"THESE ARE AWESOME!!!" rang out from behind me, and as I turned to look, I saw one of tha most formidable sight my eyes ever saw. Strong Mad had two over-sized clorbs, each almost ten feet long grorsped in his mighty fists. "LET'S KICK BUTT!!!"

"Oh, no need to tell me twice..." Strong Bad walked up to me, brarndishing his new weapons, two gold-plated sand wedges. "Man, as if I wasn't hot enough before, now all the ladies will see me weilding these bad boys and hafta fall for me! I'll be surprised if the adoring females aren't lined up to watch me fight. We might need to station guards to make sure they don't try to make out with me while I'm using these to beat the crap outta The Chort."

Hamstray was checkin' out his new clorbs as well, when I saw Bubs packin' something in a brown sack.

"I'll bring The Cheat's new stuff with me, just for whenever he arrives," said Bubs, a little mysteriously.

"Whatcha got for him, Bubsy?" I asked, but a knowing smile was all the answer I got.

When we finally got back to the upper level, we were really happy to see the KoT and Poopsmith had arrorved, but The Cheat and That Gorblin were nowhere to be seen.

"That's alright, guys," I reassured everyone. "Of all the people to be out there right now, we know The Cheat's the one who has the best chance. He'll show up. Just wait and see."

[The Chort]

Chapter 6 - Prisoner

But The Cheat didn't show up. We waited all day by the walkie-talkie, but nothing buyt static came through. With each passing hour, we were getting more and more scared.

It was late in the day when we heard it. From the distance, the clanging of metal on metal was just barely audible. It sounded like it was comin' from The Stick.

"Well, boys, we've got a prorblem," I said. "We don't know where The Cheat or That Gorblin is, but we know they've fought The Chort. Kingy, any idea where he was going last time ya saw him?"

"Doo hoo! I don't know... I was eating my mid-early morning snack, when the alarm went off. I looked outside, and saw The Cheat running off into the trees. That's all I can remember... Doo hoo!"

Strong Bad looked upset. "Why would he go off and leave us like that? He knows we can fight!"

"Bubble bubble bubble bubble..."

"Yeah, it's like Pom Pom said. He thinks this is his fight, there. He doesn't want us to have to get invorlved if he can help it... But that's the thing. Their fight was over an hour ago. We haven't heard a peep in forever. If The Cheat had won, he'd have been back here by now."

"Unless he got huwt in the fight," said Hamstray. "He might not have the stwength to make it back... Or maybe he didn't win..."

"Shut up, Homestar! I don't want to hear any of that! We all know The Cheat can handle himself fine. He's probably drinking a Cold One at the KoT's place right now!"

"I dunno, Strong Bad. We woulda heard from him by now. I think we're gonna need ta go out and search for him. Me and Ramrod'll go to Tha Stick, Strong Bad and Strong Mad can check the sports fields, tha KoT and tha Poopsmith can head back to tha castle, in case The Cheat or That Gorblin show up, and Pom Pom and Strong Sad can defend Marzipan and Bubs while they try to get the phones working. Everybrady take a walkie-talkie, and radio the rest of us if ya get inta trorble."

"Alwight guys. You'we my best fwiends. I just want you to know that no mattoo what happens with this, you'we the best co-staws a guy could evoo have."

"Homestar, don't go getting all sappy! You're gonna make a brotha cry... Seriously, though, we'll be back here. Everybody syncronize your watches, and we'll meet back here at dusk."

As we prepared to leave Bubs, a calmness came over our group. Each of us knew what we had to do. We were as ready as we could be, and we were gonna face this as a group, one way or another.

Hamstray and I set out for Tha Stick, which was the best place to start looking, we reckoned. It didn't take us long to see that The Chort was back in full force. We passed tha Marshmallow Stand, but it had already been destroyed. We didn't think The Chort would be dumb enough to use the same base twice, but it was worth a shot.

Trees were knocked down here and their, and their were bits and pieces of the buildings he'd torn down strewn along the ground. I couldn't help but marvel at how fast he'd laid waste to our town, but no matter.

Tha stick had definitely seen better days. It had been snapped in half, apparently by the swing of a clorb. All across tha clearing we could see indentations in tha ground and torn up grass where a small animal had probably careened inta tha dirt at a high veocity. I could only hope that these weren't from The Cheat.

All of a sudden, there came a rustling from the bushes. Stairmaster and I unshorthed our clorbs, and stood at the ready. We watched the bushes as the rustling moved to tha left, then to tha right. We concentrated completely on the bush.

Static, then Strong Bad's voice rang through tha walkie-talkie!

"Crhthtchtrchtc Holy crap! Coach Z, we've got trouble! Get rccrrcrcrhhhthtt..."

As I reached for my end, a furry blue animal sprorng from the bushes, drorver in hand. In a split-second, he had shorterred the walkie-talkie.

"Hamhock! Offensive Strike Mallow!"

We jumped back and landed next to each other, clorbs at the ready.

But The Chort didn't come at us. He simply dropped a video tape and spat a "Meh!" at us as he dove back inta tha bushes.

There was nothing to do, but to take the tape back to Bubs' and go from there.

*********************************************

"So, hold on a second, Coach. You saw him too?"

"Yeah, that's the same thing. I guess he took out y'alls walkie-talkie as well..."

"Uh huh... Man, that guy is quick! We were a long way off, but he still managed to get to us both..."

"Yes, my Poopsmith and I were almost to the castle when he ambushed us... Doo hoo! The Poopsmith was able to fend him off, though! The Chort didn't get rid of our walkie-talkie!"

"Gweat job, Poopstick! Now we can still get a hold of the base! But fiwst things fiwst. Let's see the tape."

Bubs' busted out his VCR, still with yellow fur taped to it from his failed attempt at fixing the clorck on it, and inserted the tape.

We couldn't believe our eyes. There was The Cheat, inside the cardboard jail at Strong Badia. Standing on his left was the blue menace that had terrorized us twice before. Unless The Chort was one of the two blue Cheats on The Cheat's right.

"Oh, cwap..."

One of The Chorts spoke.

"Meh, meheena meh mehheh. Meh meh!"

The video feed cut to static.

[neowhyachi]

Woah woah woah. Two Chorts  (If I read the end of that chapter correctly)  Awexome plot twist.  I'm guessing clone or long lost even eviler twin.

Keep up the good work.

[The Chort]

Yay for rudimentary math skills!

One The Chort on the left plus two The Chorts on the right equals a grand total of three The Chorts! Gasp!

Come on, y'all, you had to see this coming. With Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar, Coach Z, and The Cheat all in tip top fighting shape, there had to be more to it than just the one.

But the plot twists aren't done yet. One of em in particular is gonna send y'all through the roof...

Ha! I know what it is and you don't! The only way tocoax the story out of me is to continue to read the story and comment on what you like and what you think needs improvement!

[skinny_blonde_girl]

Wow! I love where this is going! I can't wait to be sent through the roof. 

[RClock]

Oh crap! Things have gone from insurrection to all-out invasion! But man, the drama is sure tight, and this story could definitely go anywhere from here.

Great, now I'll have to fast until this thing is done!

*munches popcorn*

Okay, the fasting thing was a lie. Nevertheless, I'm still excited to see more!

[The Chort]

And here you thought I'd forgotten! No, I just wanna add to the suspense. Here's the next chapter, which I imagine will shock and dismay some of you.

Chapter 7 - Meeting

It took us a while to clear our heads. None of us knew what to say. Three The Chorts. It was no wonder why The Cheat hadn't won.

In the back of my head, I always believed that if it was The Cheat against The Chort in the final battle that our guy wouldn't have any prorblem. He'd beaten him twice.

But now, everything was different.

Strong Bad was the first to speak.

"Well, we know what we've gotta do. We've gotta get the little guy outta there."

"Very true, Strong Bad. But The Chorts are gonna have a major advantage over us. You can barely see the Gremlin in the video, but it's there, so we know where they're at. But that forest is so full of places fer them ta hide, we won't know where they're comin' from..."

"But we haven't got any other way, Coach. There's four of us and only three of them. And, if we can get The Chort outta there during our fight, we'll have even more of an advantage."

"Ya got yerself a point, there, Strong Bad. Let's head out. No sense stayin' here and letting all this get into our heads. We gotta do this now."

"FOR THE CHEAT!"

And with that, we grabbed our gear, and The Cheat's clorbs, and started making our way towards the forest.

It wasn't long before we'd reached our destination. Our path was dark and drear, but we kept moving. After we'd been walking almost an hour, I heard Homestar whisper.

"Psst! Guys! I think I see tha Gwemlin up ahead..."

He was right. Not more than a hundred yards ahead of us was the beat up Gremlin. It had deep gashes in its side, where The Chorts musta thrown The Cheat inta it.

"Alright, boys. Give 'em all you've got. Strong Bad, while we hold off all The Chorts, you try to free The Cheat. Once he's back in tha game, we reorganize at tha Gremlin. You know what to do. Let's go!"

And with that we burst forth from tha bushes, into the clearing. Strong Bad rushed straight to the middle, while me, Hamstray and Strong Mad formed a triangle to cover him.

"Aha! The Cheat! I comin' little buddy!"

A cage with iron bars sat on the opposite side of us, right next to an old, hollow tree. Strong Bad ran toward it, even as The Cheat began frantically waving his arms.

"Meh heena meh meh!"

"Strong Bad, look out! The Chort's got a trap!"

But my warning came too late.

A The Chort lunged out from behind the tree just as Strong Bad was reaching to unlock The Cheat's steel cage. His clorb collided with Strong Bad's head, and Strong Bad was skidding and bouncing against the ground. He finally came to a stop, but didn't move.

"Steady! Hold your ground, boys! We've gotta save The Cheat! Defensive Position Fade Me, move!"

Ramrod and Strong Mad jumped to my side, and we drew our weapons. We morved towards The Chort as one, each step synchronized.

"Meh heh heh..." laughed The Chort. From the bushes on either side of us, the other The Chorts appeared.

"Stwong Mad, you get lefty ovoo theyoo and I'll take wighty. Coach Z, you'we the best of us, so you twy to take out the one who got Stwong Bad and maybe you can get The Cheat back in action."

"Good thinkin' there, Homestar. Let's do it!"

"BAAAAAAAAHHH!"

We rushed forward, each brarndishing our weapons. But things were not what they seemed. Hamstray was the quickest of us, so he got to his target first. Just as he began to swing, the unthinkable happened.

Another The Chort jumped from behind tha first The Chort, and Homestar was outnumbered.

My eyes drated to Strong Mad, who hadn't noticed Ramrod's predorcament. Just as with our No-Armed Whitey, another The Chort had sprorng onto the scene.

I lorked at my opponent. He wasn't alone either. He had an accorplice on either side of him. We three were outnumbered, seven to three.

[RClock]

Oh, geez. When it rains it pours, eh? I can't imagine what's gonna happen now.

Oh, and that reminds me. I need to send you something....

[neowhyachi]

Well this can't be good.  Curse them Chorts!! Curse them!!

[The Chort]

What do you know! I did two new chapters within 24 hours. I just really wanted to figure out how this fight would turn out. Enjoy!

Chapter 8 - Reinforcements

Things were not looking too swell. In tha blornk of an eye, we were swarmed. As all my training florshed through my head, my moves became automatic. The clanging of my clorbs and my three assailants could barely be heard over the noise of tha boys battlin'.

It seemed impossible, but they weren't getting to me. Despite their flurry of blows, somehow I'd gotten them all blorcked.

But Hamstray and Strong Mad weren't doing as hot. In between instants, I just caught a view of Strong Mad being tripped by a The Chort behind him while he was distracted blocking the front The Chort's swipe.

Ramrod was wielding his clorbs expertly, swinging them circularly all around, not leaving any openings. But the two The Chorts were ahead of him. They tag-teamed him, one of them flinging the other at top speed into Homegrown, knocking his clorbs from his grasp.

Before they even knew what was happening, they were in cages, just like The Cheat. Soon, the other The Chorts were gathering around me. I was fending off my three pretty well, but I knew it couldn't last.

One of The Chorts watching decided to try and jump in top throw me off balance, but I saw it coming, and dodged over his blow, while countering with a clorb to tha head. He flew inta one of his companions, brinin' my total of combatants down ta two.

But the other three who were watching our fight decided to step in. Three on one was almost more than I could handle, but there was no chance with five on one. I prepared myself for one last stand.

Suddenly, from somewhere in tha bushes, a dark metallic object went whizzing past our heads. It was a trowel! The remaining The Chorts and I all watched as it sailed straight to The Cheat's cage.

CHINK!

Dead on its target, it shattered tha lock on the cage. A grin came across The Cheat's face, as he leapt from his cage and to the bag we brought for him. He ripped the bag off, revealing to double-ended, gold-plated drorvers.

From the bushes, a tall figure stepped forth. With a shovel in either hand, The Poopsmith had emerged.

The Chort's did not seem quite as confident as before. I took advantage of their confused stares, and swept my clorbs inta the closest three.

One flew straight to The Cheat, who was more than ready to use his newest toy, and positively blasted him out of the forest. One careened at The Poopsmith, who brought his mighty shovels together on either side of his The Chort, who dropped to the ground like a bag of rocks.

The last of The Chorts that I swiped bounced off tha ground and over Strong Bad's limp body. But just as The Chort flew over, Strong Bad's arms flew up, smacking The Chort straight inta the air!

"Hey, The Cheat! Toss me one-a those bad boys!" yelled the fully conscious Strong Bad.

The Cheat tossed a clorb SB's way just in time for him to grab a hold and whallop The Chort before he even hit the ground. Unfratunately for The Chort, his flight path was obstructed by a large tree, which he smashed into with a sickening thud.

The last two The Chorts were helping the first two I hit get back on their feet, and before we could stop them they'd darted inta tha bushes.

"Quick, grab the other two! Get em inta tha cages!"

Soon enough, the iron bars that had held The Cheat and Hamstray were housing two The Chorts. The tide of our war was turning.

[neowhyachi]

Woot another splendiferious chapter the Chort.  However I'm kinda confused.  I can't tell just how many the Chorts there actually are.  At my last count it hovered between 5 and 7.

When I first read the chapter title I was expecting a cheat commandos cameo.  But the poopsmith works just as well.......I think.