ChorTrilogy 3 - The Final Chronicles of The Chort - Complete

[The Chort]

SYNOPSIS'd!

At first, it appeared as though there were three The Chorts. One for Coach Z, one for Homestar, and one for Strong Mad. Present count of The Chorts - 3

Another jumped out from behind Homestar's The Chort, and one came from behind Strong Mad's The Chort. The Chorts - 5

Two extra The Chorts came from behind Coach Z's The Chort, bringing he total to 7.

Homestar and Strong Mad get beaten, while Coach Z fights his three The Chorts. The other four crowd around the fray. The Chorts - Still 7

One of the four onlookers springs at Coach Z, who blasts him into one of the three The Chorts he was battling. They are both out of the fight, for now. The Chorts - 5

All five remaining The Chorts prepare to take Coach Z out, when The Poopsmith arrives.

I think y'all should be able to get it from there. Hope you're enjoying reading these as much as I enjoy writing them.

[Ran: the voice of reason.]

wo! thats so kewl i loved it and you should rite more! you ever thoght about making an email show thing i'll be one of ur carakters and i'll be your kewl rino friend guy! yay! go the chert!

[Quenners]

He might not choose you to be in his E-mail thread.

[The Chort]

Thanks for the compliments!

As for the Email Thread Idea, it's crossed my mind before, but right now I'm just enjoying RClock's "Clock Mails" and the other fine email threads.

[The Chort]

Chapter 9 - Reunited

When we got back to tha base, we were swarmed. Marzipan was hugging Hamhock, the KoT was bouncing around the Poopsmith, and Bubs was tossin’ The Cheat in the air with glee. Even Strong Sad was laughin’ with his brothers about how they “beat the crap outta those lousy The Chorts,” as Strong Bad put it.

It was great to see them all happy and together again, so I slipped orf at give them time. While I was fightin’, I’d realized how much they all meant at me. We had come really close to losing it all. I needed to figure out what our plan of attack would be. But, the youngsters didn’t need at worry about that yet. All they needed at worry about was spending’ time with the ones they loved.

It was about thrarty minutes later when The Cheat opened tha door to tha room I was sitting in. Complex football plays-turned-attacks were scattered around me.

“Meh heena heeh?”

“I know, The Cheat. It was too close. It just hit me that we might not all actually make it outta this one…” The thoughts that I’d tried at put outta my head for so long suddenly flooded forth… “Y’all are all so young! It’s not right that you’re fightin’ for your lives like this! I just wish there was something’ I could do to make this all go away…”

“Meh hehhh…”

“But just the same! We can’t go on livin’ our lives in constant fear! Fightin’ for our very survival!” My fist smashed into tha table. “We can’t let this happen again, The Cheat!”

“Meh! Meh me meh!”

“The Cheat… What are our chances? What are our odds? Is there even any hope left? How many The Chorts can there be?”

The Cheat stood there. I could see on his face that he didn’t want me to know, that he didn’t want to give up hope.

“You’ve gotta tell me what we’re up against, The Cheat. Ya hafta have heard something’ while you were held captive!”

The Cheat looked around, making sure it was only us. Then, in an almost inaudible whisper, he said, “Meh meheeh mrr.”

A gasp escaped my lips. There was no way.five The Chorts would be tough to handle, ten or twenty would be next to impossible, but fifty? How were The Cheat, Strong Bad, Homestar, Strong Mad, and myself supposed to fend orf fifty The Chorts? I couldn’t take more than three or four. Strong Mad and Hamstray fell against only two each. Strong Bad wasn’t any better than I was. The Cheat was amazing, but he couldn’t take on all the rest. Even if we all could fight off twice as many as the last fight, The Cheat would still end up fighting over twenty The Chorts on his own.

My heart sank. The Cheat saw it on my face.

“Meh heena heh!”

“Yeah, but even with Pom Pom and the Poopsmith, we’d still be outnumbered by more than five to one.”

“Meh meeh?”

“Strong Sad, Marzipan, the KoT, and Bubs would probably fight if they had to, but I can‘t imagine them helping much…”

“Meh?”

“No, of course we’ve gotta fight! It’s just that I dunno if we’ve even got a prayer…”

“Mehee mrr meh!”

“At least one of us is optimistic, there…”

[Depressio]

The saga continues! Great stuff, man. Keep up the good work.

[The Chort]

I decided that this needs to be finished by May 21st, which is when I leave for the summer to my church camp. That means I'll be updating a lot more now. I really liked writing this chapter, hope y'all enjoy it.

Chapter 10 - Muster

“So that’s tha situation, there, guys… We’re outnumbered by a whole bunch, and The Chorts have almost all the advantages.” I paused for a moment, tryin’ at keep my composure. “We’ll meet back here in an hour. Try to spend tha time thinkin’ of ways we could gain a little bit a ground.”

Each of us went in different directions. Some sat all alone, trying to think of anything we might have missed, while others rummaged around Bubs’ lair, tryin’ to find anything that could help us. Try as I might, not a single idea came ta me. When we came back together, I didn’t know what to expect.

“I’m gonna open up tha floor now. Anyone who has any ideas on how we can give ourselves better odds should speak up.”

“We could sure use Trogdor right about now…” muttered Strong Bad.

“Ain’t that tha truth… But we gotta be serious. We know how high tha stakes are. We’ve got one more fight, for all tha mrables. We need anything we can get.”

“Well, I dunno how much they’d help, but you guys can use my discount alligators for free. I checked their tank and there are five ready at go.”

“That’s a start, there, Bubsy. What else do we have?”

“Well, I found this stuffed in a closet. Maybe we could use it.” We turned ta Marzipan, who was holding some sorta long gun.

“What in tha world do you have that in here for Bubs?” yelled Strong Bad.

“Well, I thought I’d get a jump start on my competitors by startin’ my flamethrower that shoots chocolate hundred dollar bills. I just got that in the mail, and I was gonna start sooping it up to stop shooting fire and start shooting the imitation chocolate, but the whole attacking The Chorts thing made me hold off on my work…”

“Does that mean this actually shoots fire?” asked Marzipan, as she squeezed tha trigger.

Flames rocketed out of the barrel, catching Strong Mad’s clothes on fire. We were all rolling on the ground as Strong Mad ran back and forth yelling, “MY SINGLET!!!”

It took The Cheat a good ten minutes to put out his big buddy and for Strong Bad to calm his brother down. By then Bubs had taken the flamethrower from Marzipan, and had strapped it to his back, sorta like a blue-headed Rambo, only without any actual muscle mass.

“Alright, back to the task at hand. Any other ideas?”

“Doo hoo! What about that little green guy? Shouldn‘t he be helping out? Doo!”

“Yeah, now thatcha mention it, wear is That Goblin?” Strong Bad turned to The Cheat. “You and him were always training, but we haven’t seen him since the last time The Chort was here!”

“Meh, meheena meh heh…” said The Cheat sadly.

“Whaddaya mean, ya don’t know where he is? He was one of the one’s who saved our butts last time! You trained him more than any of us!” I couldn’t believe that The Cheat didn’t even know where his star pupil was.

“Meh meheh!”

I sighed. “Alright, it’s okay. I know you’re upset about him going AWOL, too.” The meeting was not going as planned. “So. If that’s all our ideas, we better get ready for tha fight. We should start by deciding who’ll go and who’ll stay. Bear in mind that no one will be mad if you decide to sit this out. That goes for every one of you. If need be, I’ll go out there alone.”

“Meh meh heh mehee!”

“Yeah, The Cheat is right! There’s no way we’re letting you get all the glory!”

“I’M COMING TOO!!!”

“Well, you guys awe going to need a tewwific athlete by youw sides, right?”

“Those dang The Chorts have scared me for the last time!” said Bubs, ing his flamethrower.

I had figured that these were gonna be my guys from the beginning, but as I started to turn, another voice spoke up.

“Typically I would defend small furry animals…” Marzipan grabbed Carol, and swung her with a flourish. “But in this case, I’ll make an exception.”

“You guys aren’t even gonna leave me behind! I’ve been pummeled by my brothers, ignored by each of you at times, and emotionally scarred, but I know that deep down, you are my real friends. I’m not going to let you go out there without me!”

Suddenly, Strong Bad did what no one expected him to ever do. He dropped his clorbs, and gave Strong Sad a flying bear hug.

“I’d be proud to fight along beside you, brother!”

“Doo! Doo hoo! If my loyal subjects are going to be fighting, their King will fight next to them! Doo hoo!”

“Bubble bubble bubble bubble!” Pom Pom had tied his karate band on his head, and struck  menacing pose.

We turned to The Poopsmith. He gave us a knowing grin, and held up a sign. Scrawled in a dark, smelly brown were the words “It’s go time…”

We packed our gear up, and set out for the sports field. This war was going to end the same place where The Cheat had done battle with The Chort the first time. In tha back of my mind, I knew that even with all our new fighters and weaponry, we still didn’t have much of a chance. But if we were gonna go out, at least we were goin’ out with a bang.

[Bane of the forum]

He gave us a knowing grin, and held up a sign.

Well that is just... well you know.

Very entertaining Chorty... I don't see how I overlooked this thread.

[The Chort]

Chapter 11 - The Quiet

On the long march to tha sports field, The Cheat, Strong Bad, and myself were busy forming battalions of our fighters. We figured that we’d probably do best if we split inta three groups.

The Cheat headed up the first group, composed of The Poopsmith, Pom Pom, and the KoT. Hamstray, Marzipan, and Bubs made up my squad, and The Brothers Strong were the last group.

Each of us would go to a different part of the fields. The Strongs were headed to the top of tha bleachers, and The Cheat and I would go to opposite ends of tha field. We figure we could maybe split up their forces, the convrage back in tha middle, cornering some, thus helping our odds.

Dusk was drawing near as we made our way inta tha field, so I flicked tha lights on. We each went to our spots. I talked about our game plan and strategy to my warriors, as I’m sure Strong Bad and The Cheat were doing.

Soon, we began to hear shuffling and an occasional hushed “Meh!” We knew our fight was soon to start.

Strong Mad, Strong Bad, and Strong Sad were having a big heart to heart. Each of them seemed to be ready to defend their family down to their last breath.

The Poopsmith was kneeling before the KoT, who was tearing up while thanking his most loyal subject for his years of faithful duty.

Marzipan and Hamhock were talking quietly. Eventually they got up, and shared a hug. She lightly kissed him on the cheek.

“I love you, Homestar Runner,” she said softly. He returned the kiss to her cheek, before bringing out a pair of sunglasses. As he put them on, he turned away from her.

“It’s not Homestaw Wunnoo, it’s Kevin Dubwow…”

She bonked him on the head with her guitar.

“Ow! Okay, I’m Homestaw… But can I at least keep the shades on?” She nodded. “Alwight! Theyoo is no spoon!”

I shook my head with a chorkle. Even in the face of these odds, Hamstray could lighten my mood. But before I could dwell on his humor any more, out they came.

[The Chort]

You thought it was dead. You thought I was gone. You thought right. But on a lazy Sunday afternoon almost two years since my last chapter was posted, I revisited my unfinished story, just wanting to remember the good old days. And I felt remorse for leaving my readers on a cliff hanger for so long, making them give up hope. Even I had given up hope of finding a way to end my trilogy right. But now that the story is finished in my head, I can catch y'all up to speed. Hope y'all enjoy it, their should be more in the coming weeks to finish her up.

Chapter 12 - On the Field

Furry blue men, some with an evil smork painted on their faces, some with anger etched in their brows, closed in on our three praties. They circled around, fifty strong, wielding their gleaming clorbs. Even in this moment, overwhelmed by tha incrordible odds, my mind was working a mile a minute. I could see a couple of The Chorts were lormping slightly, obviously remembering our last fight.

“Alright guys,” I said, trying to steady my voice. “Nothing left to do, no backing down. I’m not gonna promise we’ll make it out of here alive. But I will promise that I’ll take out as many of these Chorts as I can before I’m through!”

One of The Chorts stepped forward. “Meh meheh me meh…” We could recognize him. This was The Chort, the original fiend who had plagued our town and our dreams for years. “Meh heh me…” But he was cut off in mid threat.

“Shut up, you stupid crap for brains!” Strong Bad’s voice revorberated over the field and into the dark night sky. “Me and my friends didn’t come here to listen to you monologue! We came here to rumble! So if you don’t mind, I’d like to get this over with! I’ve got about 759,000 e-mails I’ve gotta check once we’re done thrashing you!”

The Chort seemed taken aback for a second. I could tell he expected most of us to be cowering or running, not standing defiantly, ready to fight. But his surprise quickly turned into a maniacal laugh. He whipped his new drorver around pointed at us, and as he did, The Chorts swarmed to us.

And so began the furious battle. The field lights illorminated the grounds, which were also lit up by bursts of flame shot from Bubsy, which quickly took out couple of Chorts. Unfratunately for him, The Chorts saw how devastating Bubs was from long-range, and half a dozen closed in from all sides. Hamstray, Mrazipan, and I jormped towards him to try and help, and the clunk of Carol smashing into blue fur was drown out by the clang of clorbs.

Despite our best efforts, a sand wedge smashed into the barrel of his flame-thrower. Now I'm a Coach, not a 7th grade science teacher, but I figured that whatever chemicals were about to mix was not going to be good.

"Hit tha deck!" Even as I yelled, Ramrod had shoved Marzipan to the ground and shielded her with his own body. Most of The Chorts around us hit scattered as well, but several were intent on taking Bubs out of the fight for good. Bubs drorped his weapon and turned to run, but it explorded behind him before he could make it three steps. He and the nearby The Chorts were rocketed in all directions. A Bubs-shaped hole was left in the blorchers from where he flew through, and he even knocked out a The Chort as he flew through the stands.

Even with the loss of one of their number, The Chorts were undeterred in their quest to eliminate the Brothers Strong. But amazingly, they were holding their own. With their backs to each other, each faced a different side of the onslaught. Strong Sad, being the weakest, was facing the top of the stands, since it was hardest for The Chorts to get all the way around to there. But that meant Strong Bad and Strong Mad were taking the brunt of tha waves. Strong Bad was yelling out all kinds of nonsense, but he had always done better in training when his physical blows were accompanied with verbal shots.

Graw Mad was going completely bersork. His blows sent The Chorts flying in all directions, putting more and more energy behind his shots. And that was what unglued them. On one particularly mighty blow, Strong Mad lunged forward, leaving his incredibly large back open for attack. I lorked up when I heard his yell, just in time to see the five clorbs that had knocked him out turn towards Strong Sad. Strong Bad's instinctskicked in, and he put his back to Strong Sad's.

"Let's do this for Brotha Mad!" screamed Strong Bad, as his younger brother stuffed a handful of powder into his mouth.

"I was saving this coffee powder, just in case..." The caffeine took effect immediately, and Strong Sad picked up one of his brother's clorbs, brandishing it with a flourish. "This attack is gonna be phenomenally successful! You The Chorts are going down like the wood davers you are!"

The Chorts on the blorchers were momentarily stymied, unlike those going after The Cheat's group. The King of Town hadn't lasted a minute, thought that was about 59 seconds longer than I'd expected. But as he fell unconscious to the ground, The Poopsmith flew into a rage! His shovel was moving so quickly that it was only a blur, until it collided with the King's assailants. Even as he worked his shovel, he was using his left hand to throw gardening tools at The Chorts who were fighting The Cheat and Pom Pom. When their combatants were dodging oncoming tools, Pom Pom and The Cheat used the opportunity to knock out a couple of The Chorts. But Pom Pom's efforts were soon ended, as his natural lightness again betrayed him. An unblorcked clorb sent him careening into the clouds. And though many of The Chorts had been knocked out of the fight, we had lost four of our number.

Standing just outside the fray, The Chort, the original Chort, watched the action unfold.

[Depressio]

Very happy to see you bring some closure to this great story. Hope all's going well on your end my friend.

[The Chort]

Chapter 13 - Against the Wall

We had been fighting for our lives, giving everything we had. And through tha impossible odds, we had made some progress, but things weren't looking good. Four of our fighters had been knorcked outta tha fight, and even though we had taken out around fifteen or twenty The Chorts, we were still outnumbered more than four to one.

In all our training, I had never seen this side of Hamstray. He was taking out The Chorts even more than I was. It seemed like any time Marzipan was about to get blindsided, he would sense it just in time, and manage to either block the attackers blow or even smacking the little blue anvils a good one. Meanwhile, I was doing my best with The Chorts who were surrounding me.

Most of them weren't quite as skilled as their leader, but when there are ten clorbs comin' atcha, things are gonna be tough no matter who's at the end of them. If the number were better, I woulda been more focused on taking them out, but the best I could do was blorck for my life, and get a strong shot off whenever they left an opening. I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep it up, but then again, I didn't know how long any of us would last.

The remaining Strong Brothers were holding up well, probably the best out of anyone for a while. But the prablem was Strong Sad. We'd all seen how potent that Coffee Powder was, but it wouldn't keep him going forever. When that ran out, he'd be useless. Strong Sad seemed to realize this as well, and was trying his best to make a difference in tha fight before he ran outta steam.

I glanced over my shoulder to see how The Cheat and The Poopsmith were holding up, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Marzipan trip. Before Homestar could reach her, a 7 iron had knorcked her unconscious.

All the combatants stopped dead in their tracks. Homestar dashed to her side. He kissed her forehead gently, then stood up. All eyes were on him. His eyebrows shot down as he glared at The Chorts. His whisper was filled with an anger I'd never heard from him. "Bwing it."

The Chorts flew towards him,  but he swung his clorbs all around him and his fallen girlfriend. The closer they came, the faster he knocked them back. But before many had been defeated, several The Chorts decided to sacrifice to knock out this adversary. Four The Chorts sprang forward, one from each side of him, and by sheer luck, one only glanced off his clorb and inta the ground. Hamstray didn't notice, but The Chort wasn't out cold, and he swung his 3 wood right inta the star of Ramrod's shirt. And with an, "Oww, those are bad for you..." he crumpled to tha ground, next to Marzipan.

The Chorts turned towards what remained of our groups. I shot a look at the Brothers Strong, but only Strong Bad was standing. Strong Sad's caffeine had run out, and he was asleep on the benches. The Poopsmith and The Cheat were at the ready opposite me. We had to fight this last onslaught orf together.

"Regrorp in The Cheat's end of tha field!"

With that, Strong Bad and I sprornted towards the far end where The Poopsmith and The Cheat were alone. By tha time we got there, the twenty or so The Chorts who remained were forming lines. They started walking towards us as we prepared for what seemed like our final hour. I figured it was now or never to get some stuff orf my chest.

"Well there boys, it's been an honor ta be your coach, to call ya friends, and to fight beside ya. Let's give the guys something to remember us by!"

"Meh heena mehheh MEH!"

"We're outnumbered about five-to-one, we're exhausted, and they've got golf club skills like I've never seen... Those lousy crap for craps can't escape now!"

We turned from each other to face our foes, when one last voice sounded out over the pattering of little feet and a distant rumbling. "Good luck men, and Godspeed."

Strong Bad, The Cheat and I turned to our left. The Poopsmith just stood there, shovel in hand. "Holy crap, The Poopsmith! Did you just?"

He just winked at us, then turned to the twenty The Chorts who were now running at us.

[The Chort]

Chapter 14 – The Battle Ends

Words don't do justice to tha fury of tha battle that raged around us. Each of us fought with wild abandon, knowing that our final hour was drawing near. Though The Chorts were falling to our clorbs, our hope was plummeting with our energy.

Strong Bad was the first to fall. A porching wedge to the cranium sent him careening into a nearby tree. He muttered something about coming to see Trevor, and his bright, green eyes got dim as they closed.

The Poopsmith lasted another minute or two, but took a drorver to his little legs, and was on his back. Before The Cheat or I could blorck for him, three clorbs had met his stomach.

The Cheat and I were back to back now. Exhausted, neither of us were landing any blows. The Chorts were now just toying with us, peppering us with light shots here and there. Neither of us were in any shape to take on the dozen The Chorts that were surrounding us, much less the original The Chort, who hadn't even seen any action yet. Perhaps that's why he came striding up to us, and called out, “Meh heh mehh!” above the not quite as distant rormbling. The Chorts stepped back, creating two lines on either side of the field.

The Chort walked through the middle of the field at us. I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, I could take him down, and if I could, maybe the rest would scatter without a leader. When he was naught but ten feet away, I leapt at him, clorbs blazing. But he deflecting both of my shots at him while easily landing a blow in the small of my back. I fell to the ground, shaking with pain as the ground shook beneath me.

The Cheat looked from me to Strong Bad, then to The Poopsmith. His gaze found each of his nearby friends. His eyes finally rested on the woods behind us. With a sigh, he drorped his clorbs to tha ground.

“Meh heena meh meh!” I couldn't believe it. Even in his last moments, he was pleading for the safety of his friends, begging that we be left out of this mess. Though it meant a lot to me, I knew the answer before it was spoken.

“Meh!”

And with that, The Chort stepped forward winding up for one last blow. The rumbling seemed to be all around us. The Cheat knelt down, face to tha ground. The Chort began to swing his clorb with more power than I'd ever seen, with an evil light in his eye. I clorsed my eyes.

The sound of metal on flesh didn't come, though. In fact, the rumbling had been replaced by silence. Complete dead silence. I opened up one eye. The Chort was staring back over my shoulder, with a look of horror on his face. Every The Chort was motionless, staring at the forest.

I strained to turn around, but my body wasn't cooperating. When I finally managed it, I couldn't believe my eyes. Before me stood a thirty foot tall green behemoth. His yellow eyes darted to and fro, from one line of The Chorts to the other. That Goblin had finally reached the battlefield.

“Meh heena heh?!”

The Cheat rose to his furry, yellow feet and grabbed his clorbs. Now the smirk had returned to his face, and his golden tooth gleamed. The Chort was completely taken off guard.

“Meh heh? Meh!”

And with that, the remaining twelve The Chorts ran towards That Goblin, jumping all over him. Their clorbs were useless against the tough green exterior of their new foe. Blow after blow fell on the green giant, but nothing got to him.

Within seconds, they were in a panic, and began fleeing into the forest. For a brief second, I thought we had a chance to pull out a victory, but it was gone just as fast. Seeing his assailants running away, That Goblin decided to pursue them. Despite The Cheat's yells, soon the rumbling of his giant footsteps were fading into the distance, punctuated every once in a while by the “Meh!” of a The Chort he'd caught up to.

But they were not the problem anymore. The Cheat and I were now face to face with the most powerful The Chort, and neither of us had much energy left. I was barely able to move, much less stand or fight. And even though The Cheat was by far the best fighter I'd ever known, he couldn't have much left in the reserves to duke it out with The Chort. But there he stood, a little swollen and with one eye blackened.

Before I even realized they'd started, The Chort was swinging away at The Cheat, and I could tell that it was taking everything he had not to fall. It seemed like it went on for hours, strikes from The Chort being barely blorcked by The Cheat. I struggled to get to my feet to lend a hand, but my body wasn't having any part of it. I merely watched, until a blow finally landed.

The Cheat fell to tha ground with a sickening thud. He wasn't more than fifteen feet from me. His paw reached for his clorb, but it was kicked aside by The Chort. I was crawling as best I could towards them, but The Chort was already preparing his finale. I wasn't going to make it in time.

“Daaaaaahh! I'm the world's worst infomercial!”

The Chort whipped around to see Homsar grinning like an idiot at the top of the blorchers. And in that moment of distraction. I tossed him the drorver from beside me and readied my sand wedge. The Cheat caught the drorver and walloped The Chort towards me. In turn, I smashed my clorb as hard as I could downward. The Chort's force caused the ground to shudder beneath him, then give way. A crater was soon surrounding the now unconscious The Chort.

[The Chort]

Chapter 15 – Life Goes On

The next weeks were filled with recuperation and work. The first thing that had to be done was to find a way to be rid of The Chort for good. After much discussion and debate, a solution was finally reached. The Chort was placed in a box filled up with peas, which was then stuffed into a huge capsule.   The whole shabang was locked in Bubs' high security vault in his underground lair. All the exits were then blorked off.

Soon enough, the whole community was getting back in tha swing of things. The No Armed Whitey and Marzipan were back to fighting about who knows what, although she never seemed to keen to stay mad anymore. I guess word of how he'd fought for her had made an impression on her.
The Strong Brothers were now inseparable. Even though he was still picked on a little, Strong Sad had finally become one of the guys. They and The Cheat were seldom seen apart.

The King of Town offered The Poopsmith a raise and promotion. Everything in the entire Kingdom was now under his jurisdiction. But the ever-humble The Poopsmith declined the offer, and was content to carry on as his master's most faithful servant.

Bubs moved his Concession Stand away from it's previous location, and found unheard of success in selling slightly used golf clorbs at near discount prices.

Pom Pom had somehow become even more of a mack by retelling the stories of our heroism to the lady-friends he knew. And while this brought him an influx of girls, it didn't seem to help my singleness situation at all.

As for me, I went back to what I loved best. Coaching my boys on tha Golf Clorb Team. It hardly seemed fair, though, after all the experience they had. That's why I signed them up for a semi-pro league. I know they'll make me proud. They always do.

Epilogue

So, there's tha story of The Chort and the Battle for Free Country, U.S.A. I'm happy ta say that The Chort still hasn't returned in the five years since that fateful day, and we don't expect him to. The other The Chort's haven't been seen since they were chased orf by That Gorblin.

As for us, we've enjoyed the time of peace. I love to tell tha story of my brave friends. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I've enjoyed telling it. As a matter of fact, this story reminds me of a great sports play...

[The Chort]

And so ends my trilogy. I, like Coach Z, hope that whoever stuck it out and finished it were not disappointed with it. In case you were wondering, this is definitely the end of the story. I feel as though I've finally finished a marathon. It wasn't a pretty finish, and it took forever and a day, but it is finally over. Hope y'all liked it.

TC aka Drew