Infested Mails! EMail #7 "Invention"

[potthole]

Ahh, another great e-mail!  I really enjoy reading these, it seems that each one gets better than the previous.

It's cool how you're able to take some extremely random e-mails, and turn them into something this enjoyable!

Favorite line:

MM(staring): NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! IT’S SOILED!!!

[Eh_Greg]

Wow!! this was hilarious. MORE, PLEASE, MORE!!!


My favorite quote was: um..... i guess everything was my favorite......YAY!!!

[Inf]

This was a kind of short one, but I still think its good enough to post so here:



E-Mail #4 Evil

Runspazmail.exe

IJ: Eh… I hafta let Stix answer an E-Mail… I told him I’d let him if he ate more than an ounce of food last night.

*flashback wavy lines*

-SM takes a bite out of a hamburger.

SM: Ughh…so…much…crap…Can’t eat much more..

IJ: You only need one more bite….

-SM takes another bite.

SM: *Groooooaaaannnnn* Aagggh.. I think I’m dying… *faints*

*flashback over*

-SM pulls up an email.

Dear You,
Poke
Me

SM: What the crap!? This is stupid!

Jake: *giggles*

SM: YOU SENT THIS!!? DARGH!! I’LL POKE YOU ALRIGHT.

-SM shoves his shovel into Jakes face.

IJ: Ow! My Spleenily Spooch!

-SM walks away grumbling.

-Jake starts to walk away.

Compy: You has some mail.

IJ: Oh *comes back*

Runspazmail.exe

Dear IJ,
I hate you. Punch me in the face...really hard. And annoy me...a lot. Oh! And can you throw ants down my pants, dance in my brain, turn me into a rotton slice of blue cheese, throw me off a cliff, and do anything else that is evil to me!
Not Faded,
Everyone but Faded

IJ: Ohhh…

-SM comes back in.

SM: Jake I need my shovel back. *pulls the shovel out of Jakes head, which has been there this entire time.*

SM: *looks at the computer screen* Wha! How come you get the good E-Mail?!

IJ: *getting dizzy* I think you severed my brain…

SM: Oh, forget it…

-SM walks away…

IJ: Well, I guess its time to do all this stuff.

-Jake walks out.

-He sees TTS first.

IJ: WEDGIE!!!

-Jake gives stu an atomic wedgie and then throws ants down his pants.

TTS: OW MY BUM! Ach! AAHhH!! Ow! Ooch! Adrgh! *more noises of pain*

-Jake soon finds MM.  He punches him in the face, but Mackiest bounces back up and Jake keeps hitting him.

MM: OW! OW! OW!  ow! ow! ow!! ow… ow..        ow…….        oww…….               owww……..

Jake: *points* YOU WAS PWNED!!  *runs away*

-Jake comes to HSRT in the hallway.  He does a little Irish jig in his brain.

HSRT: OW, my IQ! MY BRAINS!! NOOoooo…………….                   …Poopy….Heheh…. Poopuy!

-Jake then pulls out a ray gun and shoots HSRT. He turns into a piece of blue cheese.

IJ: HEHEEHAHA! Someones gonna eat yous!

-Jake goes to find SM

-When he does he grabs SM and runs all the way to a cliff and throws him off.

-Jake looks around for Dubby.

-He soon finds him drawing.

Jake runs into the room really quick then grabs all the drawings and eats them. He then blows his nose and smashes the Kleenex into DB’s face. He then runs away.

-DB falls over and twitches a couple of times.

-ZEE NEXT MORNING-

-Every one ‘cept Faded goes to find Jake. When the do they beat him up. The End.

[HomeStarRunnerTron]

Wowwwww!!! THAT WAS GREAT! Even better than the 1'st email! The animation in those secrets were fantastic, and Dumb Me was pretty funny. And the Stix can eat an ounce? I thought he couldn't eat ANYTHING. And BTW, was Zee pointing to anyone's form of speaking? ... perhaps... a person with the initials of S and S?

10/10

I think you severed my brain,

HSRT

[Inf]

And BTW, was Zee pointing to anyone's form of speaking? ... perhaps... a person with the initials of S and S?

Well, not especially, but I did think about it after I wrote it

[Two Time Stu]

Good times!

Ow! My Spleenily Spooch!

lol, my bum still hurts...

10/10

[potthole]

He then blows his nose and smashes the Kleenex into DB’s face. He then runs away.

Eeeeew!   

Nice one... the eggs made it really funny.  Short but sweet!

[daBurninator]

Nice eggs. The animated ones are awesome, you should make more of those.

Nice e-mail answering, too. Irish Jigs are always good, even if they are...in someone's brain...

[Faded]

YEA! Both of my emails were used! Time to make more choas! *emails him again*

Great job

9.8/10

[Inf]

Its been a while hasn't it? Well here's the new one.


E-Mail #5 Prank call

-Jake is at the phone prank calling people.

-Jake dials and waits for an answer.

FunTimey: Hello?

IJ: *giggle* Your frigilator. *giggle* IT RUNNED AWAY!! HEEHEEHAHAH!!! *hangs up*

FunTimey: What?

-Jake dials another number.

Phone: Just go talk to that person.

-Jake looks up and sees DB sitting on the couch next to him watching TV.

IJ:*angrily* Stupid Pokemon Phone!

-Jake dials another number.

Neo: What?

IJ: YOUR FAT! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee!!11

Neo: Listen, Jake: If you ever call me again, I’m gonna stuff you in a bottle and sell you as Gatorade!

-Jake hangs up and dials again.

Potthole: Yo.

-Jake hangs up.

IJ:Ah…..I think I’ll check an email now…

Runspazmail.exe

Dear IJ,
PRANK CALL!
Hang up

IJ:  NOOOO! I’s WAS PRANKED CALLED!!  I MUST FIND THE CULPRIT!!

IJ: Everyone! Get in here!

-Everyone gets in there

IJ: Ok everyone, we need to find who prank called me.

Faded:*raises his hand* It was me.

IJ:…Ok, new email.

Dear Infestado Jackado,

What is up with TTS's hair?

What does it do other than be long?

from,
Anomonous personal

IJ: Hmmm… Good question. Everyone, tie him up.

TTS: What!? No! NOOO!!!

MM: Oh, I know what you can do with his hair!

*switch to Potthole eating dinner.

-On the table is a plate of spaghetti.  Potty grabs a fork and twirls some noodles around it. Then he pulls to lift the fork away and you hear a tearing sound.

Muffled Voice: MMMMMMRMMPH!!!!

-Potthole looks around and shrugs and then puts the fork into his mouth and chews.

Potthole: *cough* *splutter* Eueewww! *gag*

-The table flips over and there is TTS bound and gagged. His eyes are watering and he’s missing a large chunk of his hair,

-Potthole falls over.

-Mackiest runs in.

MM: *points at PH* APRIL FOOLS!!! HAHHhahahh!

*screen flips back to normal*

IJ: Oh, Oh! You could use ’em as nun chucks!!

*screen flips to Jake swinging Stu around by his hair and killing generic MMORPG goblins.  Then he gets stomped on by a giant goblin.*

*screen flips back*

SM: And you could throw gum in it!

HSRT: That’s retarded.

SM: And light it on fire!

HSRT: Ooh! I like that!

-HSRT leaves and comes back with some sticks.

HSRT: …rubrubrubrubrubrubrubrubrubrubrubrubTHIS ISN’T WORKING!

DB: Yes, and you seem to have gouged a hole into his head.

-Everyone looks.

TTS: Owie….

MM*points*: haw ha!

Faded: Oh, we could shave off all his hair except a little in the back and give him a pony tail!!

-DB leaves and comes back with some scissors and they all do his hair.

TTS: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HEADBANG WITH THIS!?! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT!!

-He tries to do a headbang but the pony tail just flies into one of his eyes.

TTS: Ouch! GAHH!!! I’LL KILL ALL OF YOU!!! I’LL KILL YOU IN  YOUR SLEEP!

DB: Uh… Maybe we should just leave him tied up.

SM: Maybe.

-everyone walks away

[MBD123]

Bwahahaha that was funny!

*switch to Potthole eating dinner.

-On the table is a plate of spaghetti.  Potty grabs a fork and twirls some noodles around it. Then he pulls to lift the fork away and you hear a tearing sound.

Muffled Voice: MMMMMMRMMPH!!!!

-Potthole looks around and shrugs and then puts the fork into his mouth and chews.

Potthole: *cough* *splutter* Eueewww! *gag*

-The table flips over and there is TTS bound and gagged. His eyes are watering and he’s missing a large chunk of his hair,

-Potthole falls over.

That was my favorite part!

[Faded]

That was awesome IJ! Keep on doing your thing!

[Two Time Stu]

AH GROSS PONYTAIL EWWWW GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8/10 I liked it!

[potthole]

Ah, I'm glad I finally got a chance to read this!  I liked this one quite a bit, keep up the great work!

MM: *points at PH* APRIL FOOLS!!! HAHHhahahh!

[Inf]

Email #6 "Email #6"

IJ: Bleh!

Runspazmail.exe

IJ: Wow! 6th email already. Time to clean out my inbox.

-The compy reads: Hey j00 n00b! You has 18 message mails.

Mr. Jake,

Why come your name is "Infested"... is there some little secret you're hiding?  If you want, I can give you the name of a good exterminator.

~Bug Free Is The Way To Be

IJ:A little Squiggly eh? Well we all know who sent this email.

-Far far away, somewhere in Michigan, Potthole smiles.

Runanotherspazmail.exe

Dear You,
Why are you called "Infested Jake?" Are you infested with something? If so, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STAY AWAY FROM ME! I'M CLEAN! AHHHHHHHH!
Your pal,
PT2FM

IJ: *sigh*  When will these emails end?

Rungoodspazmail.exe

Dear Jake,

In your [I[entire[/I] life, what's the most embarrasing thing that's happened to you? Ever.

Your Pal,
OniChris

-Jake glares and the screen zooms into his forehead. It zooms out and shows Jake running in circles in the rain. He has his arms out like he’s an airplane and everyone’s laughing at him. Suddenly he gets struck by lightning and splatters all over everyone.

Runspazmail.exe…

Dear Self,
Dude....you stupid....get a life....and Faded is really hot, charming, and enjoys long walks on the beach with people of the oppisite gender...so help out Faded...or be more stupid.
Ta ta,
Faded
IJ: Ha! Yea right! Help you get a girlfriend?! Again? Pfft. If you’re so hot and charming you could get one your self!

-Stickman pops up.

SM: Mega burn!

-Faded pops up

Faded: Oh Yea!?

SM: Yea!

-HSRT walks by and after a minute, pulls out a camcorder.

Faded: Well, at least I don’t shovel crap for a living.

SM: It’s pudding you fool!

-SM jumps on Faded and they start rolling around on the floor punching and kicking

-Faded punches Stix in the face.

SM: Ow! My brain fluids!

-SM rolls onto the top of Faded and uses the handle end of the shovel to knock the breath out of Faded

Faded: *Pooooooooft* *cough hack coughcough* Grr!

-Fado starts breaking Stick’s arms and legs.

Faded: Hah! It’s like breaking pencils!

SM: You can’t break pencils you mitten handed weakling!

Faded: Yea, well… Your legs are stupid!

-SM slaps Faded a few times before he starts slapping him back. It erupts into a violent slap fight. After a few moments of this MM comes by. He separates them.

MM: Relax, relax. You both suck.

-SM and Faded shake hands and then pull Mackiest down and start kicking his sides.

MM: Owie! My kidneys!!!

-Soon SM and Faded grow tired of this and stop kicking and punching. Jake senses that the fights over and then jumps on Mackiest and pull Faded and SM back into the pile.

 Jake starts smacking Faded and SM’s heads into Mackiest’s head.

Stix,Faded,&Mack: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

-Mack passes out.

Two Time Stu and Dubby come over.

TTS: Woo!! Fight!

-TTS runs over and jumps into Jake and the others.

-Db walks over to HSRT.

DB: Ah, nice. You’re getting all this on tape.

HSRT: Yu-

-DB pushes HSRT into the pile but catches the camcorder and continues filming.

DB: *smiles*

-Jake gives TTS a noogie and Stu pushes him aside. He then bounces on the unconscious Mack for a while and body slams Faded. Faded then grabs a can of whipped cream and sprays it up Stu’s nose.

TTS: Ah! Whipped cream! The doctor said I gotta stop putting that in there! *Nose starts bleeding*  See what you did!?

Faded: Hahahahah!

HSRT: MUST DEFEND FLASH MUFFIN BRETHREN!!! YARGH! *jumps into Faded*

-Jake looks at everyone: TTS is rolling around on the floor clutching his nose; HSRT    and Faded are on the floor pooped out. SM can’t get up because of his broken arms and legs. Mackiest is lying on the floor. DB is still filming.

IJ: Wow. Macky looks like he’s in a coma.

DB: When he wakes up he’s either gonna be really mad, or really hungry.

IJ: Probably really hungry.

DB: Or maybe he’ll just die.

IJ and DB: Bahahahha!

-They look around and then walk away.

Done.


Thanks to Hsrt for making the third Egg.