BurnMail #3 - 3 Emails!DB: In honor of my THIRD EMAIL…
Everyone (un-enthusiastic): …yay.
DB: I’ll be answering 3 emails this time!
Everyone (un-enthusiastic): …yay.
DB: E-Mail numba one:
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Dear DB,
~Hammer Of God
---DB: Well, yes God’s Smashy Thingie, I do like eating barbeque sauce. Next Email!
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Dear DB Dragon,
Are you against Dragon Slaying? I know I am!
Dragons Rule,
-Master Kaiser
---DB: Yes. Next E-Mail!
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Yo there dubby,
Its the man with a shovel here. I was just wondering if you knew where
my new XR500 power shovel is. I think I saw pom pom playing
Gir-baseball with it. So... find it please. Before Infested Jake gets
it. Who know's what'd happen.
stickly yours,
The Stickly Man
---DB: Hmm…your new power shovel…? Oh yeah! I think Jake
did get it…I saw him and Gir playing with it this morning. They were like…trying to
eat it and riding it like a horse, and stuff like that. Gir did have some pretty big dents in his head, though… someone probably did play Gir-Baseball with him… I’ll check that out for ya.
DB: Let’s see... who should help me on my investigation?
DB: HEY! HAMMER! TAPEY! STICKLYDUDE! GET IN HERE!
-DB turns around to see all 3 are already there-
DB: Oh…you’re already here…that's kinda creepy... OK, we are going on a mission…the one mission…TO RULE THEM ALL! We gotta find out who took SticklyDork’s Super Shovel and how to –
SM (interrupting): It’s called a XR500 power shovel…
DB: I really don’t care.
SM: OK.
DB: So, as I was saying… we gotta get the shovel and figure out who took it, so… uh…someone’s yard isn’t… dug up..or something. Let’s Go!
-They walk outside, and Jake and Gir are playing with the shovel.-
SM: Where did you get my shovel?!
-Jake and Gir keep playing, as if SticklyMan said nothing at all.-
DB: Yo! Where’d you guys get that shovel?
GIR: Well… it all started in the magical train of marshmallows. I was walkin’ along when –
IJ (interrupting): PomelyPom was whacking him with it!
DB: Can we have it back? Stickly needs it for his top secret mission of digging really big holes.
IJ: NO!!!!
TL: Why not?
IJ: PomelyPom said he was only letting us borrow it, and not to give it to anyone else!
GIR: That is correct, Ma’am!
TL: OK…it sounds like this is a job for TapeLeg and his sidekick GlueArm! We’ll get that shovel back!
SM: I am NOT your sidekick!
TL: Whatever! –Runs towards Gir, who is holding the shovel, the jumps and does a flying jump kick towards Gir’s head-
GIR: MONEKYBOTTOM! –Swings the shovel and smacks TL in mid-flight, sending him straight at Jake, who’s mouth is open wider than his
whole body-
-TL flies into Jake’s mouth and Jake swallows him whole-
IJ: It tastes like a pancake!
-Sticklyman, HOG, and DB sigh, then walk away-
HOG: I guess we will have to go find PomPom and tell him to get the shovel back for us…but where is he?
DB: Well, let’s think…where does PomPom hang out?
HOG: Uhh…he likes to eat at that KFC downtown…
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-DB, HOG and SM arrive at the KentuckyFriedChurro resteraunt-
SM: There he is! He’s eating the Fried Churro-On-A-Stick!
PP: Oh, crap! –He takes off running, still holding the churro-
DB: Follow him!
-They chase PP throughthe parking lot, jumping over cars and stuff. PP trips over a crazy-looking
chihuahua and falls on his face-
DB: Why did you have SticklyMan’s shovel!?
PP: What shovel?
SM: My XR500 power shovel! You took it!
PP: No way! I bought a shovel at the Sprawl*Mart yesterday! HOG! You where there with me! And look, SticklyStupid! You are holding your shovel right now, you poopy-brained moron!
SM: Whoa, I am…
DB: How’d we miss that?
HOG: I don’t like Sprawl*Mart…
SM: Wait…why do you need a shovel?
PP: Umm… Look! A bear –points to the sky-
-Everyone looks up-
-PP runs off-
HOG: Wow, that’s a nice bear.
Flying Bear: Hey, thanks!
DB: Well, I guess I’ll have to erase all your memories now, just like I do anytime I do something stupid. –Pulls out a
neuralizer, puts on shades, and presses the button and the light flashes.-
PP: Dude…that’s just a cheap toy you bought for $4.99 at Sprawl*Mart…and it doesn’t work…and it didn’t work last time, either…or any of those other 2,403 times, either…
DB: YES IT DID. I HATE YOU! –Runs away-
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HOG: Wait....why was PomPom running away from us?
PP: Actually...I really don't know...
-Everyone stares at each other and it's akwardly silent-
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IJ: E-Mail the dragon! Or he’ll send me over to your house!
TL (from inside Jake): Believe me, you don’t want that to happen!
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