Girmails 2.0

[Gir]

GIRMAILS 2.0

Characters

Gir - The main character. Random. Annoying. Stuff.

Infested Jake - Gir's best friend/Sidekick...ness. z0mG HE'S BLUE!

ACPigeon - Gir's other best friend. A bird, with a clock superglued to his stomach.

Da Burninator - Green Trogdor thingy. Jake's brother. Likes to burn things.

Deam - Peverted dark thingy that appears every now and then.

Mr. Teatime - Floating...chicken...thing.

Tape Leg - Blue Strong Bad, with a piece of scotch-tape on his leg.

Pom Pom - All around cool, floating bubble man.

Old Emails
Underworld - First Email. Gir answers questions!
Wig - We Learn were Gir's wig came from. Yu-Gi-Oh making fun of!
History - Ever wonder were baby Girs came from? Find out in this email. See Tape make Gir clones!
Money (That's What I Want) - PT2FM tries to get some money!
A Visit From Raven - Gir and Raven have a playdate!!!!!11 Raven gets really mad.
Dance Dance Revolution! - Gir plays DDR, with Master Kaiser.

New Emails
#1 - Pie (Part 1 & 2) - The crappiest email ever, but Gir somehow manages to turn it into a quest.
#2 - Blue Wig Email #2 - Gir is asked about his blue wig again, but this time explains how he got his original one. Flashbacks aplenty.
#3 - More emails - Gir finally goes through his inbox.

Old Toons/Shorts
Attack of the Silver Flares! - Girmails Versus Hammermails!
Halloween '04 - Happy Halloween! BOO! HAHAHA! DS has food poisoning.

Toons/Shorts
A New Begining - Gir gets his groove email thread back!

Email Gir at schavira@gmail.com.

[Gir]

[Gir and Jake are sitting on a street curb, all hobo like]

Gir: Well it can’t get much worse than this. My email thread’s gone, we’re all out of Sprite and IGN got bought out by Fox.

Jake: And you know what else?

Gir: What?

Jake: I HAVE NO IDEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gir: Great. Well, now what to do.

[They Both Hmm…]

Gir: I KNOW! I’ll make a comeback! Again!

Jake: Good for you. Now off to get some waffles. WAFFELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gir: Bye Jake!

[Jake explodes]

Gir: Now, what was I doing? Hmm… getting a Lego brick shoved up my nose? No. Getting shoved in the ceiling by Hammer of God? No. SO MANY COLLIDING MEMORIES! ARGH!!!!!!!! IT’S A SNAKE! Oh yeah, I was going to get back my email thread. TO THE COMPLAINT CAVE! I MEAN EMAIL THREAD OFFICES!

[Batman scene switch music and screen come up and go]

[At the email thread office]

Secretary: Sigh…welcome to the BHZ Smells Like Email offices. May I help you?

Gir: Yes. I would like to file a complaint.

Secretary: Sigh…what is it now.

Gir: Um…um…let me think…I WANT MY THREAD BACK!

Secretary: You’ll have to sign all these papers…

[Hands Gir a big stack of files]

… and you’ll have to answer these questions. Number one, the reason why they have decided to begin/continue an email thread in the…

Gir: YES YES I KNOW THE GUIDELINES! I WANT THE THREAD BACK FAST AND EASY! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

Secretary: Security, we have a situation here. (Yawns)

Gir: Crap.

Guards: OH NOT YOU AGAIN!

[We cut to Gir being kicked out the building]

Gir: I believe I had a hat!

[The guards throw out a hat]

Gir: SUCKERS!

[Runs off]

[Batman scene switch music and screen come up and go]

Gir: Okay, that didn’t work. Any ideas?

Jake: Hm…oh I know! Uh hum…

TODABOR DAY IS LABOR DAY! TODABOR DAY IS…

Gir: SHUT UP! Wait, I’ve got it! I’ll disguise myself as Depressio, sneak into the Smell Like Email studios!

[Batman scene switch music and screen come up and then Jake eats it]

[We’re back at the SLE offices. Gir has a cheap Depressio costume on.

Gir: Hello. I’m Depressio. No clone survivors! I have a bazillion emails!

Secretary: Hey Joe. Where’s That Goblin?

Gir: Oh um…he’s over there.

[Points to Jake pointed Green]
Secretary: Have a nice day at work.

[They run down the hall]

Gir: Yes! Now let’s go find an empty email room.

Jake: Let’s try this door!

[Opens Door]

Gir: Hey! It’s Pom Pom.

Pom Pom: Hey Joe. Coming in to make a cameo in Pom Mails Thread 267.72?

Gir: No. I’m…fishing.

Pom Pom: What?

Gir: RIP OFF ARTIST! (Kicks his shin and runs off)

Jake: Hey, you learned that from that show with that guy that looks like me!

Gir: Let’s try this door.

[Opens Door]

Gir: Hey it’s Rclock!

Rclock: Hey Depressio. I have better grammar than you! HA!

Gir: Bye!

[Slams Door]

Gir: Let’s try another.

[Opens Door]

Gir: Here’s an empty room! Wow! It’s got everything! A widescreen TV, comfy couch, fridge, and of course, the most high tech of it all, an 128k 1984 Classic Macintosh for all that email answering!

Jake: But it can’t! There was no internets back then, except for da president.

Gir: We’ll do something about. AS FOR NOW…SEND ME EMAILS!

Email Gir at schavira@gmail.com.

[Inf]

Cool! You picked mee! Yay! Good job with the random explosions and Simpsons rip offs!

[Gir]

#1 - Pie

EMAIL TIME! YEAH YEAH YEAH!

Tell me, man- what is your favourite pie. Like, y'know... Pozza Pie... Pizza Pie... Cheesecake... Apple Pie... The Greek Letter ?... You know... *cough*
Writer of the worst E-Mail ever, Eben "Frostey" of ___________.

Gir: Ah. Eben Frostey of England, is it? You spell favorite with a ‘U’. HAHAHA! Anyways…yeah I like pie. Pie is awesome. As for ‘favourite’ pie, I used to like chicken pot pie, until I saw Chicken Run…

(FLASHBACK’d)

[On Screen]

Babs: I don’t want to be a pie. I don’t like gravy!

[In the audience]

Gir: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! NOT THE GRAVY!

(Back to Compy room)

But aside from that cheap movie reference, I love chicken potpie. It’s good.
GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then I also love the Weebl and Bob cartoon Pie.
But out of all the pies in the world, I would have to say Pizza Pie, if that even counts as a pie.
So everyone, this time send me emails. Some good ones.

Email Gir at…

(AC bursts through the wall)

AC: I’m sorry, but you can’t end an email like that.

Gir: schvaira@gmail.com

AC: No. It has to have a good ending. You know, good?

Gir: Um…no, I don’t.

AC: Well it only took me like 40 seconds to read all that.

Gir: You’re right. We must do something drastic!

RANDOM ADVENTURE TIME’d!

AC: Why are we in the mountains?

Gir: Because, we are on a search for THE HOLY PIE!

AC: What THE HOLY PIE?

Gir: THE HOLY PIE! Whoever possess THE HOLY PIE! will be able to wield unlimited THE HOLY PIE! power.

AC: That’s kind of getting annoying.

Gir: THE HOLY PIE!

AC: Stop that.

(Smack)

Gir: Sorry. But we seriously do have to look for THE HOLY PIE! (sorry) if you want that supreme whatever.

AC: What a random way to end an email, but I guess I’ll join you.

[Jake randomly explodes back into the scene]

Jake: ME TOOS!!!!!!

Gir: Good type thing. We must journey off!

AC: But to where? And why are we in the mountains.

Gir: To search for THE HO

AC: SHUT UP!

Gir: Sorry. Which way should we go? North, South, East or Dennis.

AC: Gir, that’s just from that stupid game.

Gir: No, seriously. Dennis is right over there. (Points)

Dennis: MR. WILSON!

AC: Let’s get the heck out of here.

Gir: Okay, enie menie mineie NORTH!

(They run North)

AC: Well, what now.

Jake: There it is! Sdkhuj Kjassdf!

AC: This is no time to be random.

Jake: No seriously. That sign says Sdkhuj Kjassdf and is pointing to the grail.

AC: What’s a Sdkhuj Kjassdf?

Gir: Probably that huge monster right in front of us.

All Three: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued.

Email Gir at schvaira@gmail.com.

[RaZorSwOrd]

In all seriousness Gir: you need to stop relying on cliché humor to get cheap laughs. Cliché humor being: "pie", "gravy", and overuse of exclamation points. You need to actually write your own material, and not paste together a bunch of random humor. The only people who are gonna laugh at this are nine year olds, or people who are high.

In summation, you need to work on your material some more.. A lot more.

[Conner]

Well, recently, many popular Email Threads, are just a bunch of cliches, the general public likes cliches. Times have changed.

Well, to each his own I suppose.

[Gir]

Last Time on Girmails:

AC: THIS EMAIL SUXXORS!

GIR: WE’RE ON A MOUNTIAN!

AC: What’s a Sdkhuj Kjassdf?

Gir: Probably that huge monster right in front of us.

All Three: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now…

PART II

Gir: Omegoshomegoshomegosh what should we do!

Jake: I NOES! WE’LL DOS HIM WITH OUR BONZAI BUDDY AND FLASH!

Gir: No.

AC: I have a suggestion. Run away in fear?

Gir: Okay. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[They hide behind a rock]

AC: Well this sucks. We’re about to be eaten, and I just got a Popstation for my birthday.

Gir: AC, this is no time to reference that thread I just recently made. HINTREADHINT. Well, anyone have any REAL ideas.

Jake: Ooo! Ooo! I’ll summon Demon with my summoning device! SUMMON!

AC: That’s just a cell phone with a potato taped to it.

Jake: You just wait and watch. HEY DEMON! DEMON! GET THE HECK OVER HERE.

Demon: Hi.

AC: Whoa, how’d you get here so fast?

Demon: Teleporter. Bought it on eBay. What can’t you do there!

AC: We kind of have a situation. Can defeat that monster?

Demon: Okay, I have good news and bad news. First the bad news: No. BUT! What I can do is this.

[Takes out a 20 dollar bill]

Demon: See, if you fold it, you can get to look the world trade…

AC: WE KNOW THAT ALREADY! JUST HELP US!

Demon: Okay, hey monster, go home! Please?

Sdkhuj Kjassdf: Okay.

[Walks Away]

Gir: YES! Now we can finally get THE HOLY PIE! (AC: Stop that.) and get supreme power whatever. Now let’s split this fairly, I get everything, you get nothing.

Demon: No, I should get everything. I made him go away.

AC: No, I should get everything. I’m the real leader of this expedition.

Jake: AND I’M!!!!!!!!! HEHE, I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!

Gir: Hey, you stole my line!

Jake: Sorry.

AC: Maybe if we split it fairly we might all get a lot more powerful, but not full power. That way were all even.

Jake: Or not.

[Eats Pie]

Gir: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

AC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Demon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Darth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kool Aid Man: OH YEAH!

Jake: I FEEL DA POWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[He grows Super Sayin hair]

Jake: Cool! I’m like Gir! Except yellow hair!

[Jake starts growing more SS hair and some SS armpit hair]

Jake: Oh noes!! Too much hair! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

AC: He’s going to blow! Again! Lets get out of here!

[They run off]

Woo, made it back just in time.

BOOM!

So anyways, Jake exploded again, I like pie, and this email sucked. So send me a good one.

Email Gir at schvaira@gmail.com.






And to Amon, don't read the thread if you don't like it. Nobody has to if they don't want to. So stop complaining. And to the whole pie thing, I didn't write that email. Frostey did. Go whine out all your angst to him.

[Inf]

Well, he wasn't really complaining, it was constructive criticism.  He was trying to tell you how to improve your writing.

[Gir]

Well everyone, after a lot of Waybackery, I found all my old Girmails. Relive the magic!


______________________________________________________________________________________


#1: Underworld

Gir: WOW! EMAIL!

run girmail.exe

Dear Gir,

How goes it over in Underworld these days? Am I still banned for life? Is Pointy Hair Man still an idiot? Is Teatimey still evil?

E-mailing you from Tape-leg's computer,
-Darkshadows

Well Darkshadowyguy it's going great over here. Right AC? AC?

AC: Gir, I'm right here.
Gir: Oh. Hey is it going good over here.
AC: I guess.

Okay, to steal AC's answer...I guess. Now for question number two. Um... you're not banned. I think. Or are you. Hey LUFIS! LUFIS!

AC: He's at Tape Leg's house.

I guess we'll never know. Now for question numbah 3. Yeah, Pointy is still stu-ped. I don't need to prove that. Now for the final question, um... is Teatime evil?

Mr. Teatime: Hey Gir! I just got an Xbox!
Gir: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay, Mr. Teatime is evil. Well there you have it. My first email. So paper take us home!


___________________________________________________________________________________


#2: Wigs

Gir: Coming in at numbah too it's Girmail!

run girmail.exe

Dear psychotic robot dog,
Where did you get that blue wig?  I want one. 
this letter brought to you by Tape-Leg™

And this Response is brought to you by Gir®*.
Well Tape Man I get all my wigs from this cruddy anime store. In fact let's go there right now!

(Gir gets up)

At the store...

Yu-Gi-Oh Nerd: I'll trade you my "Disemboweled Finger of Expedia" for you're "SUPER DUPER Gold Skin, Burning Red Eyes Dragon Man."

Yu-Gi-Oh Nerd 2: It's a date!

Gir: Nerds.

(Gir walks up to the cash register)

Clerk: Welcome to Anime Planet. What do you want? Sigh...
Gir: Yeah, um... I need one Blue Wig.
Clerk: Let's see...one Authentic Stinkoman 20x6 Blue Wig from 1989. Here it is!
(Hands Gir the blue wig in bizzare packaging)
Gir: YAY!
Clerk: Sigh...

Back at Compy

Well there you have it. Yu-Gi-Oh sucks and I got another wig! This wig is so original!

BOOM!
(Stinkoman and Da_Cheat burst in through the wall)

Stinkoman: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY WIG? YOU'RE SO DUMB!
Da_Cheat in Cheat Language: (YOU STOLE OUR WIGS!)
Gir: No I didn't. There on you.
Stinkoman: Oh yeah. SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORY!

(They both burst out of the hole in the wall)

Okay that was random. Well there you have it. Blue wig. Anime store. Yeah. MAKE WITH TEH PAPER!


________________________________________________________________________________



#3: History

Gir: Run da Gir, run run the GirMAIL!

run Girmail.exe

Dear Gir,

If you are a robot, who built you, and are there any
plans that i can get my hands on?

~The Wolf

P.S. The reason I want the plans has no reason
whatsoever to me deactivating you and/or making an
army of Girs to steal your taco supply

Well, okay. Here’s how I was made!

Flashback to Conventia…

Almighty Tallest Purple:  This is your standard issue information retrieval unit, also known as a SIR.  It will assist you in gathering valuable knowledge during your mission.

Almighty Tallest Red:  It's also a thermos! 

Purple:  Who wants this one?

Invader:  I do!

Purple throws it at the invader.

Invader:  Ow! Thank you.

Red:  Everyone else, line up and take a robot!

Later…

Zim:  Finally! A robot slave of my own!

Red:  Um,  eh, we have a top-secret model for you, Zim.

Purple looks through a trash can and finds some SIR parts, then pulls out a screw, 2 pennies, a  paper clip, and a gumball from his pocket band. He put the SIR parts together and put the items in the SIR’s brain.

Purple: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Throws the SIR at Zim)
 
Zim:  It looks kind of... not good.

Purple:  Yes!  Well, that's what the enemy will think! Get it?

Zim:  I see! Very good! It even fooled me! I am honored to be trusted with such advanced technology!

(The SIR Turns on)
 
Gir:  GIR, reporting for duty!
 
Zim:  Gir?  What does the 'g' stand for?

Gir:  I don't know!

(Gir goes Crazy)

Zim: Um, is it supposed to be stupid?
 
Purple:  It's not stupid. It's advanced!

Zim: I see...

End Flashback…

So there you have it. That’s how I was made. Well I guess this…

BOOM!
(Tape leg and a million Girs burst through the wall)

Tape Leg: So you’re as foolish as I thought you were Gir!

Gir: HI TAPE LEG!

Tape Leg: I am not here to greet you, but I’m here to take your food! HAHAHA!

Gir: Ummmmmm… Okay.

Tape Leg: RESTRAIN HIM!

(No one does anything for a couple of seconds, until the Girs start going crazy and they even start to attack Tape Leg)

Tape Leg: NOOOOOO!

(The Girs take Tape Leg away)

Tape Leg: REVENGE!

(They all exit)

Gir: Um… Okay. Well this couldn't get any weirder.

Lufis randomly comes in and does the Macarena. The Macarena starts playing.

Gir: YAY!

(Gir starts dancing)

Lufis: NO! IT'S RIGHT ARM OUT AFTER LEFT ARM!

Gir: Oh. Okay!

Gir: Well there you have it. The history of Gir. EMAIL ME!


_________________________________________________________________


#4: Money! (That's what I want!)

Gir: EMAIL! OH YEAH! EMAIL!

run girmail.exe

Dear Gir,

You forgot to give me Super Stick Man's neighbor a hundred dollars!

PT2FM

OMG! Wait. Who is Super StickLY man's neighbor again? This might take a while...DO SOMETHING ACTIVE!

2 hours later...

Gir: OH YEAH! Peopletried2fademe! TO THE GIR CAVE!

At the Gir Cave...

Gir: Um... what was I doing? This might take a while...DO SOMETHING ACTIVE!

2 hours later...

Gir: I'VE GOT IT! WAS GOING TO BUILD A TIME MACHINE! No wait...

30 minutes later...

Gir: Oh yeah. Peopletried2fademe and the money! Now where does he live. This might take a while...DO SOMETHING ACTIVE!

At PT2FM's house...

PT2FM: JEESE! WHAT IS TAKING GIR SO LONG!

At Gir's house...

Gir: ABCD...G! Um... what comes next? This might take a while...DO SOMETHING ACTIVE!

At PT2FM's house...

PT2FM: THAT'S IT! I'M GOING OVER THERE AND GETTING THAT MONEY!

At Gir's house...

Gir: Oh, he lives next to Super Stickly Man. I forgot. Where does he live though...This might take a while...DO SOMETH...

PT2FM: ENOUGH! NOW ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME 100 BUCKS OR WHAT!

Gir: A hunder-red bucks? Okay!

(A herd of Bucks comes and tramples on PT2FM)

PT2FM: Ow...

Gir: Oh, and here's a hundred dollars.

PT2FM: YES!

(Takes the money and leaves)

Gir: Well, that's all the time we have for Girmails. EMAIL ME!

___________________________________________________


#5: A Visit From Raven!

Gir: GIR, THE MAIL. GIR GIR THE MAIL.

run girlmail.exe

WRONG! YOU GIRL!

Gir: Ooops!

run girmail.exe

Hey Gir! I'm commin by for a visit, and should be there oh, about. now!
THIS MESSENGE WILL EXPLODE IN TEN SECONDS!

- Darkest_Raven

Gir: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Raven: Gir?
Gir: Oh 'ello raven.
Raven: Why were screaming?
Gir: This message was about to explode.
Raven: It's just a joke.
Gir: Oh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Raven: Let's get this over with.
Gir: Want to play Gamecube?
Raven: Sure!

(In Gir's living room)

Gir: Let's play Super Smash Bros. Melee! I call first controller!
Raven: What's the diffrence? I mean there both the same color.
Gir: Well I like this one!
Raven: Uh... I'll be Zelda.
Gir: Zelda? But she's a girl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Raven uses her powers and throws Gir into the wall.

Gir: Ow... this pain is making me hungry. LET'S EAT!


In da dining room...

Gir: LUNCHTIME!
Gir: Whatya want?
Raven: I'll just take a glass of water.
Gir: Okay.

(Gir exits and goes into the kitchen)

2 minutes later...

(Gir come out with a huge plate of Burritos and Tacos. He starts pigging out on them.)

Gir: YUMMY!
Raven: What about my water?
Gir: Oh yeah. I drank it.
Raven: DRANK IT?!?

(Throws Gir into the wall again)

Later...

Gir: Um...wanna watch TV.
Raven: Sure. Teen Titans is just about on.
Gir: Well I have a better show that you're not on!

(Gir changes the channel to static)

Raven: It's all snowy.
Gir: I know! This show rocks!
Raven: THAT'S IT!

(She throws Gir against the wall again and leaves)

Gir: RAVEN! COME BACK! WE HAVEN'T EVEN READ OLD NEWSPAPER ARTICLES YET!

Well that was very uncecsessful. "TOON" in next time for more Girmails! The paper, please?


_______________________________________________________________________


New Short: Attack of the Silver Flares...!

Gir: Well time to check my Non Electronic Mail!

(Pulls Letters out of Mailbox)

Gir: Bills. Bills. Bills. Bills. Paycheck. Bills. Bills. Bills. Pottery Barn Mag. Bills. Bills. Bill. A MESSAGE FROM HAMMER!

(Reads message)

Hey Gir,
Um...we're going to attack your house. OK? Thanks.

-Hammer of God

Gir: Oh............AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Runs into the house)

(At HOG's house)

HOG: HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! We have scared the Gir Mail team, now we can attack!

Gir: Okay people, we need to prepare for an attacks by the Silver Flares. There for we need to attack them first. General AC, you take a quarter of our troops and attack the left wing of the Silver Flare Base. General Fademe, you take a quarter and attack the right wing. General Teatime, you take another quarter and attack from behind. And I'll take the rest and attack from front.

Tape Leg: We'll have them surrounded. They'll have to give in!

Raven: Great plan! How did you think of it?

Gir: I didn't. I stole it from Hammer.

Mr. Teatime: Wait...if you stole it from Hammer, he'll probally be using the same plan. Which means he's surrounding us right n...

BOOM!

(A huge fight breaks out)

2 hours later...

Hammer: You know this fight is going nowhere. Let's do the only logical thing there is...COPY ANOTHER EMAIL THREAD!


ROUND 1! Darkest Raven V.S. Homestar Gunner!

Darkest Raven: You're going down!
Homestar Gunner: NO YOU ARE!

(Throws a grenade at DR, but DR uses her powers and makes the grenade fly back at Gunner)

Gunner: It's all stuck on me!!!!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!

BOOM!

(Gravey explodes everywhere)

Gir: I never knew Gunner was made of Gravey!
Gunner: I'm not. That was a Graveynade.
Gir: Oh. DR WINS!


ROUND 2! Da_Burninator V.S. CloudStriffe!

DB Burninates Cloud.

Cloud: Ow....That hurt.

Gir: DB WINS!

After about 7 more rounds of fights...

Gir: Face it Hammer, we have more people than you! HAHAHA!

Hammer: Hmm...which means there's only one way to settle this! ME VERSUS YOU GIR!

Gir: YOU'RE ON!

FINAL FIGHT! GIR VERSUS HAMMER OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hammer throws a Ninja spike and it goes into Gir's brain.

Gir: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Hammer: WE WIN! YES! OH YEAH!

Gir: NEXT EPISODE HAMMER! NEXT EPISODE!

Later...

Gir: Okay Hammer destroyed our base, and we need a new recruit for our team. Someone who's funny and fighting skills. LET'S HAVE A TALENT SHOW!

AND NOW FOR A STORY...

Master Kaiser is a short little guy with no Arms Or legs, but that doesn't stop him from being funny. He also lacks the ability to talk (kinda like that_goblin) He's always ready to tryout new things leading to the fat that he get Distracted alot. MK is also an avid Gamer, His favourite is Vigilante 8 2nd Offense. He also gets ticked when told purple is a girlish colour, he could make punishments from punch in the head to bitting it off.

When he was a little boy, he had a lot of energy! As he grew up, that energy start to fade away. By 14, He was clearly an 'Indoors person'. But on his 18th birthday, he found his energy again.
But he wasn't a loose cannon of sugar like he use to be. He was simply a party animal. So he fed his energy by attending discos and as much parties as possible.

 

His name sounded more serious and powerful then he actually was but he kept it because he thought it symbolized his love for dragons. He also liked swords, though he doesn't have any. So, you could probably say he has a passion for medievil times. No one knows how long he had this passion, but long is preety close. Every now and again he snaps back to reality (If he really needs to or just gets bored of the olden days) and dreams of his modern day dream, to start an email thread.

 

But he doesn't think an email thread starring a guy that can't even talk would be an exiting or even funny. But one day he might get enough confidence to start, but for now he'll try to become an email character. So he's packed his bags and suitcases to head up to a certain email thread that's looking for a new character, Yours. So he finally arives at the New Character Entry Place (Or you could call it Gir Idol) and he's early, he's up next!

Gron Sad: SHE BANGS! SHE BANGS! Something something something...

Gir (As Simon): WRONG! ALL WRONG!

Darkest Raven (As Paula): You go girl!

Gron Sad: But I'm not a girl.

Gir: SHUT UP!

PT2FM (As Randy): You are horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Gir: NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Master Kaiser (Somehow Talking without opening his mouth): (Hey. Um... I'm Master Kaiser! Woot!)

Gir: PERFECT! GENIUS! GREAT! YOU'RE HIRED! And Gron Sad...YOUR FIRED!

Gron Sad: I thought this was a spoof of American Idol, not the Apprentice.

Eh Weel Chair and Pokehomsar: Did somebody say Appwentice?

Gron Sad: That's it!!!!!!! I shall devote my life to stopping Gir and his crew! (Scary)

Gir: Well there you have it! Welcome to the crew Master Kaiser!


____________________________________________________


#6: Dance Dance Revolution!

Check that Girmail 'cause I'm da bomb!

run girmail.exe

Dear Dancin Gir Machine,

Have you ever played DDR?

Peace,
MR.MK

Well Mr. Milk Kookie, I just happen to own a DDR on PS1. I got an 120 combo on "Boom Boom Dollar!" Let me show you how Dee Dee Are is played!

(Gir turns on his PS1 and explodes with joy)

Gir: Now, let me show you how a DDR is really done!

(Paranoia starts playing, and Gir dances on his pad, not missing an arrow)

DDR Announcer: THE CROWD LOVES YOU!

Gir: YAY! THEY LOVE ME!

(Gir accidently misses an arrow)

FAIL'd!

DDR Announcer: GAME OVER! YOU SUCK BAD!

Gir: Aww....

Master Kaiser: (HAHAHA! I can do so much better than that!)

Gir: I'd like to see you try!

MK: (ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLANGE?)

Gir: No.

MK: (Oh. Well I'll show you how DDR is really played!)

("Have You Never Been Mellow" starts playing on Easy Mode, and MK misses every arrow)

DDR Announcer: Are you a monkey?
DDR Announcer: GET OFF THE STAGE!
DDR Announcer: You're a disgrace to this 32 bit system!

FAIL'd!

Gir: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Man you suck!
MK: (Grr...)
Gir: What?

So as you can see I rule at DDR. The paper?

____________________________________________________________


NEW TOON: HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(AC, Starman, Darkshadows and Da Burninator are all in a room talking)

AC: Hey great use of Grey makeup on your costume DS!
DS: It's not makeup. I ate at Burger King.
AC: Eww...
DB: Hey what's going on?
Starman: Yeah, I'd like to know...

(Gir enters the room)

Gir: Well It's that time again, SO LET'S TELL SCARY STORIES ALA HOMESTARLOWEEN PARTY!!!!!! I'll start it off.

Gir: Okay once there was a dead rat named Dead the Sneak!!! BOO! HE WAS ALL SPOOKY! HE FLOATED! And he controlled all the world's tacos! But one day he went outside...

DS: MY TURN!!! Okay, he went outside and found the dead bodie of Tape Leg! DUH DUH DUH!!  And he covered the bodie with tacos. He vowed to avenge Tape Leg's death...

AC: So he went to a spooky castle on some spooky hill, where he thought Tape Leg's killer was. And when he went in was attacked by none other than Bowser!

Starman: And so Bowser killed him. The end. Now let's eat.

Gir: That was a cruddy ending. Oh well.

Starman: LET'S EAT!

Gir: We have to have a costume contest first ala the first Februaryween Ever!!! Okay let me look at these.

(Gir walks over to AC)

Gir: And who are you supposed to be? HUH? HUH? HUH?

AC: I'm dressed as...

Gir: NEVER MIND! You win least creative. Ding!

AC: Aww...Joe the Show is going to be mad.

(Gir walks over to Starman)

Gir: So let me guess. You're the Terminator with a surfboard right?

Starman: No I'm the Silver Surfer.

Gir: Whatever! Not last place. Ding!

(Gir walks over to DS)

Gir: So who you supposed to be? EH?
DS: Haven't you ever seen Star Wars?
Gir: No! Best use of...gray. Ding!

(Gir walks over to DB)

DB: Sorry talking Llama.

(Throws a pie at Gir)

Gir: Oww...Best use of...pie. Ding!

Gir: Well that about raps it up!

Starman: What about food?

Gir: Bye everybody!

Click to See Costumes.

[Gir]

#2 - Blue Wig Email #2...

Trade in any 2 non-sports titles and get a free email!

So, Gir:

When did you get the blue hair? I don't remember that when I saw you on that one show that one time.

What, what was that? Oh, yeah, Regis and Kelly.

Your fan,
Former President Taft

Well Mr. Fatman, I believe I have answered this before.

(AC appears out of nowhere)

AC: No you didn't. You just answered where you get them.

Gir: Well that's not where I got my little wig originally. Sit down children, and I shall tell you a tale.

AC: But I'm not a kid...

Gir: It all started 6 years ago. It was a glorious time for video games with Ocarina and Warped, Rocko was still on, with reruns though, and the President screwed up again.

(Flashback)

Little Gir: Hey DB. How's your baby brother doing.

DB: I don't know how we're even related. I'm a dragon thing and he's, well a blob.

Baby Jake: Hallo Gow and broder.

DB: My name's Da Burninator, not brother.

Baby Jake: Sowwyz...

(DB kicks Jake up into the air)

Baby Jake: WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Gir: Don't you think that has a bad effect on his brilliant young mind.

DB: Don't worry. It's not like he'll turn out to be some random, yelling blob thing when he grows up just because the minor brain damage he recieves from my kicks.

[Modern Day]

IJ: DADADADADA THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! IT WILL GO ON AND ON MY FRIEND...

DB: SHUT UP!!! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE FLASHBACK!

[/Modern Day]

(Kid Edge walks in with a blue wig on...)

Edge: Hey guys. How's it going.

Gir: Wow! Where did you get the wig?!?!?

Edge: I found it in the trash. You want to try it on?

Gir: Sure! I'll give it right back. YOINK!

(Runs off)

Edge: That's the last straw. I will dedicate my life to destwoying Gir!!!

(End Flashback)

Gir: And that's about it.

AC: So you stole it from Edge?

Gir: Yup.

AC: Well that sucks. You turned him against you. And it's all your fault.

Gir: Oh well. Anyways I guess that wraps everything...

IJ: WAIT!!! LETMETELL MY PART OF THE STORY!!!

AC: Why?

IJ: It all started in '98. I was a little blob thingy, and I was awesome.

(Flashback)

I was taking my everyday stroll through the park.

IJ: HI GIR!

GIR: I'M A MEANY HEAD! BOO!

DB: I'M A MEANY HEAD TOO! BOO! HEY LET'S KICK HiM!

(Jake gets kicked and lands in Ice Cream)

Jake: YUMMY!

(End Flashback)

Jake: Now that's what I call a sticky situation!

Gir: You just did a flashback like that because you were watching that episode of South Park last night.

Jake: So?

DB: So that gives me my time to tell the story.

(Flashback)

It all started in the throne room...

DB: Oh, man am I awesome.

Gir: Hello master. What can we do for you?

Baby Jake: Yes. It will be our pleasure to serve you!

(End Flashback)

Gir: WAIT! That's not what happened. Oh well. I guess it will always remain a mystery.

AC: But you stole it from...

Gir: ALWAYS A MYSTERY!!!

EMAIL ME! schavira@gmail.com

[Gir]

EMAILZ PLZ?

But seriously, I need some emails. Bad. Please send.

[Gir]

#3 - More emails...

Woah, I forgot this exisited. Oh well, better check email.


Dear Gir,

What do you look like from out of the suit? Do you have a body........

.... or something.

From,
StrongoBadio

This:

http://www.users.tsn.cc/xp/maintitle-gir.jpg

NEXT EMAIL.

Dearest Gir,

Have I seen you somewhere on the news? I swear I have!

From,
Someone who DEFINETLY doesn't have stuff 2 do

You are right Swddhs2d, for you see, I made a HUGE media apperance last month.

(Cuts to local TV news station)

Reporter: And the fire ended up injuring 2, but there were no serious injuries.

(Gir is in the background holding up a sign that says "Hi Mom!" and is doing anything for attention, dancing, jumping, and lighting himself on fire)

(Cuts back to email)

Yes. As you can see I am making many more apparences in the TV world. Not just Zim anymore. Nope. I'm doing this on my own! Next email.

Dear Grr

It took me long time to get english right, me still dont do it right, do me?

             Name!,
        Dearest regards

Wow. All I can say is, wow.

Ah!  Santa!  Don't send me to the Almighty Tallest as a slave!

Just kidding.

Huh? Where's Santaman? Because I don't see him! You know, I might just do what you asked me not to do, so HA!

Well that's all the emails for today. EMAIL ME! schavira@gmail.com