Coach Z's Cookies

One fine day, Coach Z was going to eat some cookies. His mother baked them just for him on this special day. They were not the famous sugar cookies (made with aspartame) but they were better (as if cooked aspartame tastes good). They were the caramel butterscotch peanut butter raisin chocolate M'n'M nut caramel and caramel Carmella cookies. A bit much, but delicious. Then he needed to go to the bathroom so he set the cookies down.

Bubs came in and said, "Yay! Cookies!" He ate 12 of them. Unfortunately, there were only 36 to begin with.

The King came in and said, "Maybe I shouldn't... oh buttery delicious cookies!" He ate 10 (Yes the King had more self-control than Bubs did.)

Meanwhile, Strong Bad was pummeling Strong Sad all the way into the place where Coach Z laid the cookies. Strong Bad hit Strong Sad and every time he did so, Strong Sad snagged a cookie and quickly munched it. Too bad though, as only 14 cookies remained and Strong Bad hit Strong Sad twenty times. He ate a small piece of cheese he found by the cookies the 15th time and the rest he endured without food.

When Coach Z, who was constipated, got out of the bathroom he was devastated to see not only all his cookies gone, but someone had smudged his autographed photo of Marshall Mathers.

"No one ruins my Eminem and gets away with it!" he shrieked.

Bubs said, "Too bad too, because the cookies were delicioius." He quickly covered his mouth.

Coach Z glared at Bubs.

"I am also to blame..." the King said meekly.

Coach Z looked at the brothers Strong. Strong Bad pointed to Strong Sad. Strong Sad shrugged and shouted, "I use food as an antidepressant... I know it's unhealthy but it could be worse. He was hitting me!"

Strong Bad said, "Well I'm not the one who ate 14 caramel butterscotch peanut butter raisin chocolate M'n'M nut caramel and caramel Carmella cookies!"

"You ate 14!?!?" The King asked Strong Sad. Strong Sad nods shamefully. "Wow! No one under the age of 25 has ever done that in Free Country since Youngy Youngborne of 1962!"

"Umm... I ate 35 yesterday..." Strong Sad muttered.

"You glutton!" the King called the kettle black.

"It was an impulse!" he shouted, "Because STRONG BAD was throwing BACON GREASE on my left hand!"

Coach Z got mad at everyone for ignoring him and went off to have a drink with his mother, who was sorry she did not make the world famous aspartame cookies.

The End. I know it sucks plataechidnapus eggs. If you disagree that's fine because I doubt anyone else knows what a plataechidnapus is. Also I'm hard on myself all the time.