MP-Mails. Made on the Fanstuff Wiki. Brought to you.

[TheTire]

I have an account on the Fanstuff Wiki under a different name (SimplyMP). I have an email show on the Fanstuff Wiki under that different name. And I have a bad email show here. So what do I do? I replace my show here with my show on the fanstuff wiki!

So yeah. Here are my characters.


SIMPLY MP: Simply MP is basically me. He is a pretty laid back person. He's a bit of a slacker, always doing what he has to do at the last minute. But still, he's a generally nice guy. He will share his ice cream with you.


TAIPO: Taipo is a half-animal person from 20X6. When he arrived in present day by time machine (he went back in time to search for extinct species), his time machine broke. Since then, he's adapted to modern culture well and is friends with Simply MP. He's always happy.


BUTCH STARHOME: Butch Starhome is a version of Homestar from an alternate universe. He is smarter than Homestar, but still a bit gullible. He carries around a banana wherever he goes, and uses it as a gun. He is a cop/detective and always appears out of nowhere.


ATSUKO: Atsuko is the 20X6 KOT's grandson who wants to be king really bad. However, when a wormhole takes him from 20X6 to present day, he realizes that dream is impossible. So he tries to learn the basics of present day life.


SETH: Seth seems like your average idiot... until you find out about his evil plot to blow up the planet! Yes, stupid person is just his disguise for pure evil!


DAVE: Dave is a Cheat, but is nothing like the other Cheat we all know. He has a job down at the Pie Time, and seems to be the only person to actually have a job other than Bubs. He's pretty much cool with everything, and rarely, if ever, gets mad. Even though he's a Cheat, he can still talk.


DARKNESSLORD: DarknessLord is a HRFWiki user that I actually know in real life. Thus, he's been given a cameo on my email show. DarknessLord is a cool guy, but he gets a little weird sometimes. In fact, whenever he gets near a glass of Weird Juice, the world explodes.

[TheTire]

EMAIL 0: superpowers

SIMPLY: Hello, judges of American Email. Today I will be singing "She Bangs."

Dear Simply MP,
If you could have 5 superpowers, which ones
would you take?
Sincerely,

A. Nerd

SIMPLY: {typing} Good question, Nerd. {Thinks for a moment.} The first power I'd choose would be mind powers, so I could finally figure out what Seth thinks about all day.

{Scene cuts to Seth, sitting in a sandbox, staring at nothing and blinking.}

SETH: {voiceover}WORLD DOMINATION! {smiles evily.}

{scene cuts back to Simply}

SIMPLY: My second power would probably have to be invisibility, so I could rob from banks and stuff.

{Scene cuts to invisible Simply, still wearing clothes, in a bank. He's talking to Senor Cardgage, who is the bank's teller.}

SIMPLY: I'd like to make a withdrawal, Sir.

SENOR CARDGAGE: Does twoo have any identerfication?

SIMPLY: {hands ID}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Here's you go! {hands stack of money}

SIMPLY: YES! {runs away with money. Scene scrolls with him until it is just outside the door. Simply runs away as Butch runs in.}

BUTCH: He got away.

{{Scene cuts back to Simply's computer room.}

SIMPLY: My third power would be flight, for obvous reasons. Fourth on my list is Lazer Beams. That shoot fire. And missiles. And explosives. You know, like that one X-men guy has.

{Scene cuts to a smoldering crater. Standing in the crater are four badly burned people: Simply dressed as Cyclops, Butch dressed as Wolverine, Taipo dressed as Beast, and Marzipan dressed as Storm.}

SIMPLY: Oh, was I not supposed to take off my visor? {Butch smacks his own head.}

SIMPLY: And my fifth superpower would be... {A drum roll is heared and hollywood lights start to flash} X-ray vision.

{Scene cuts to a hospital, where Simply dressed as a doctor is examining Balding Man}

SIMPLY: You ate a mideval sword. {Balding Man sighs his famous sigh. The paper comes down.}

{15 second wait}

SIMPLY: How do you do that? That sigh is awesome! {Balding Man sighs.}

[Inf]

Nice job.  It's been getting rather sleepy around the E-mail section.

[TheTire]

SIMPLY: Today, I will do this intro without saying the world "email". Wait... OH CRAP!

Hey, Simple. Do you like chickens? Non-cooked?

-Grundy?

SIMPLY: Why don't you people get this right? It's Simply! SIMPLY! {Pauses, then types.} Yeah, chickens are alright, I guess. They're cute! I mean... they can annoy people! But I've hated them ever since that one CGI movie with the talented voice actors came out.

{Scene cuts to a two CGI chickens standing in a 3-D field littered with easter eggs.}

CHICKEN ONE (VOICED BY HOMESTAR): Let's save easter from the evil villain!

CHICKEN TWO (VOICED BY POM-POM): Bubble bubble!

{Scene cuts back to the present.}

SIMPLY: Of course the movie made billions of dollars from all of the little kids who came and saw it, even though it was a pile of crap. In fact, chickens are everywhere these days.

{Scene cuts to Simply standing on the field, facing left. Homestar walks in from the right.}

HOMESTAR: Why did the chicken cross the road?

SIMPLY: {turns around} AAH!

{Scene cuts to Simply standing, in a suit, by a watercooler. Seth walks in next to him.}

SETH: Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

SIMPLY: AAH!

{Scene cuts to Simply sitting on his couch watching TV. Homsar peeks in from the top.}

HOMSAR: My chicken has gone to the grashes.

SIMPLY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

HOMSAR: {with Simply} AoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAoAo!

{Scene cuts back to the present.}

SIMPLY: It was not a pretty sight. Anyways, you can see how chickens are ruining the industry and how every chicken movie ever made was probably awful. Except that one where the chickens turned into pies. That was pretty good. {Sighs.} It kind of makes you want to go to KFC...

{A tiny chick then flies through and lands on Simply's shoulder. Simply stares at it in awe, then slowly and discreetly takes out a fork. Tiapo jumps in, tackles Simply, and lets the chicken go.}

TAIPO: RUN, CHICKEN! RUN!!! {Simply stares at him with a mixture of awe, disgust, and what-the-crap?}

SIMPLY: Get offa me! {Taipo jumps off him and stands beside. Paper comes down.}

[TheTire]

SIMPLY: Email is the best thing since sliced email.

Hey Simply! Do as I'm told and you will get a hundred dollars.
1) Make subliminal advertisements!
2) Send Homsar an I-luv-u note.
3) Do the macarena!
Anonymous

SIMPLY: What is this? Is this some form of bribery to get me to try to do physical humor? You all remember last time that happened, don't you?

{Scene cuts to Simply's legs sticking out of the floor of his computer room. There's a huge crack in the wall behind him, and cracks going out from the hole Simply is in.}

SIMPLY: (mumbling) Did you get the trampoline footage?

{Camera pans up to the ceiling, where Taipo is peeking out of a massive hole.}

TAIPO: ... Nope.

{Simply's legs bend over. Scene cuts back to the present.}

SIMPLY: It was not a pretty sight. Anyways, I don't need your money. I have all I need in my storage room!

{Scene cuts to Simply standing near a giant vault. He enters the combination, then opens the door. The inside is empty and dusty, with a random skeleton on one side and Gavin crawling around on another.}

SIMPLY: It's a deal.

{Scene cuts to a scene from Tampo Mails. Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko are checking email when "READ MP-MAILS OR ELSE" flashes on their computer screen once.}

TAMPO: ESLE RO! SLIAM-PM DAER!

{Scene cuts to Simply and Homsar standing in a sandbox.}

SIMPLY: Homsar... I... love you. A lot.

HOMSAR: AaAaA'm breaking up the heart chain, Mr. Lincon!

SIMPLY: {gets on knees and dramatically shouts}NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY HEART IS BROKEN!!!

{Scene cuts to Simply, Homestar, Homsar, the KOT, and Homeschool standing in line in a gym. Since none of them have any hands, their "macarena" consists of standing , saying "HEY!" and turning.}

KOT: This is great exercise!

{Scene cuts back to present.}

SIMPLY: Thanks a lot, whoever you are. Now I look stupid, have lost all of my viewer's trust, and had my heart broken. I'd like the hundred dollars now.

BUTCH: {appears out of nowhere} You do realize that, judging by the fact that he signed as Anonymous, he isn't going to give you anything?

SIMPLY: {thinks for a minute} OH CRAP!!!

EXTRA NOTE: One of the most popular email shows (if not the most popular email show) is Tampo Mails, which follows Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko as they check emails and go on over 100-line adventures.

[TheTire]

SIMPLY: I'm the father of emails. Except I'm not.

Cheese?
-Mr. Milk!

SIMPLY: Nice mail courtesy, Mr. Milk! Not starting an email with "Dear"? I'm changing this. {Adds "Dear Simply MP" to the beginning and changes Mr. Milk to Mr. Spoiled Milk.} See there? You got demoted! Now nobody'll smell you! {clears screen} Anyways, yeah I like cheese! It's my favorite food! In fact, I'm a member of the National Cheese society!

{Scene cuts to Simply in a tuxedo and monocle talking with a similarly dressed fellow. Simply pulls out a sandwich with an american flag on it.}

SIMPLY: Your grilled cheese is done, sir.

CHEESE CLUB MEMBER: {takes bite} AMERICAN? I only eat grilled cheeses made with the finest aged Monte Enebro! {puts on mask} TO THE CHEESE CAVE!

{The Cheese Club Member runs through the wall. Simply stares at him in shock. The KOT, with a monocle and tuxedo, steps in from the left.}

KOT: Is he going to finish that grilled cheese?

{Scene cuts back to present.}

SIMPLY: The good news is I made 7 bucks! The bad news is I worked 7 hours... Anyways, Mr. Spoiley, cheese is the bomb! Cheese is seen as a savior to both wine conniseurs and sandwitch conniseurs alike! Cheese is the one food everybody can agree on! Except lactose intolerants. But anyways, I think people will find a cure to that and people will still be enjoying cheese X9 years from now!

{Scene cuts to a giant palace in which Atsuko is sitting at the head of a large table. He is sitting right next to a giant talking cheese wheel to his left and a 20X6 KOT to his right. There are a ton of anime look-a-likes at the table. A message saying "X9 years later" appears on the bottom-left of the screen, but fades away after a little bit. }

ATSUKO: Cheese is so totally awesome! I eat it every day long!

20X6 KOT: I'm proud of your eating habits!

{A giant flash of light suddenly appears around Atsuko; he is pulled through a giant portal to present day.}

20X6 KOT:... Let's eat something!

{Scene cuts back to the present, where Atsuko is warped to Seth's evil hideout. Seth is using the dimensional portal from alternate universe.}

ATSUKO: Who are you? Was that some way of asking for a challenge?

SETH: One: I'm Seth, evil inventor and future dictator of this and the many other worlds. And two: No, I'm not. You 20X6 people are so alike. However, I need brute force for my plans, so I just have to stand the engrish.

ATSUKO: Am I one of these brute force people!!!

SETH: Well, I was hoping for someone more... intelligent. {dimensional portal breaks and starts smoking.} Well, for the time being, you're the only brute force I need.

{Scene cuts to Simply's computer room. Seth is sitting at Simply's chair.}

SETH: Nice job distracting Simply, Atsuko!

ATSUKO: Peeing his pants and running was a strange way to accept a challenge.

{Seth types in MPmails.exe}

BLT?
-Mr. Bacon!
SETH: MUAHAHAHA!

EXTRA NOTE: Emails on the Fanstuff Wiki have to be at least 20 lines, so this one dragged on and on.