Taking a Stand: NEW Halloween Special!! For Real!!

Stinkoman K and Depressio present:
The Taking a Stand Halloween Special
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Depressio is waiting by the gate to a large mansion. He is wearing a Big Daddy costume. K walks up, dressed as Samus

Stinkoman K: Well, there's only one guy I know who could fill those shoes. You ready?

Depressio: Yeah, I don't think you're in any position to make fun of other people's costumes.

Stinkoman K: What? Is an intergalactic bounty hunter just a little too hardcore for you?

Depressio: See...this is what happens when you skip all the cinema scenes and turn the volume all the way down.

Stinkoman K: One of us has never played video games, or they would know that not all games have fancy "movies" and "characters" or even "plots." Anyhow, you ready for some serious candy? Well, okay, of course you are.

Depressio: Yeah. I hear old man potthole gives out TWO mini Mars bars instead of the usual one. Could the legend be true?

Stinkoman K: That's what we're here to find out! Now then, open up the gate. Make that drill and/or girth useful!

Depressio: Yeah yeah.

Depressio walks over to the gate and starts pounding on it with his drill. Nothing happens.

Depressio: Oh man. I think I hear someone coming.

Depressio picks K up and jams him into a metal hole in the wall next to the gate

Depressio: I'll start pounding obnoxiously when the coast is clear.

Stinkoman K: Thanks, Mr. B.

goomba walks up, dressed as a Koopa Troopa

Depressio: I don't get it.

goomba: I know eh? (looks around) Oh, you guys are wasting your time. You can't get in here. I tried posing as a Girl Scout and a Male Girl Scout, but he still wouldn't open up.

Depressio: Well, that's not going to stop me. I've never met a piece of candy that I haven't feasted on while crying alone to myself.

Stinkoman K (To goomba): Did you at least get past the gate?

goomba: Uh...yeah. Definitely. Twice. ...Yeah, no. I figure if you do that, you're in the clear.

Stinkoman K: Great. Then all we need is something to get us over or under that fence. Hmm...we may need some backup.

Depressio: Yeah. Let's meet up back here in a bit. (to goomba) In the meantime, you should probably dislodge Justin Bailey over there.
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Cut to Depressio, who is talking with ACP, who is dressed as the Cyborg Ninja

Depressio: Yeah. Someone was too cheap to spring for stealth camouflage.

ACP: Well I was going to be a ninja, and they ran out of those costumes. And a Cyborg costume is too hard to do right.

Depressio: I can relate. I got kicked out of a Sci-Fi convention once. It turns out they wanted a “less portly” android. Well, the joke was on them. I wasn’t even wearing a costume.

ACP: So, uh, you can take one of these candies. You take any more and it's mercenary city.

Depressio: Hey...these are just skittles wrapped in foil!

ACP: Yeah well... I could say the same about you.

Depressio: What?

ACP: …I…don’t even know.

Depressio: Don't worry. You can make it up to me. I need something to infiltrate a certain rich guy's "bachelor castle."

Oh. Well I do have this left over Slingshot...

Depressio: Hey thanks. (goes to take it) Wait a second. Knowing you, there's something terribly wrong with it.

ACP: Well I did have to use this during that Rotten Food Dodgeball thing with that one loser. Uh... I also have some stolen playground teeter-totters. See-saws, if you will. I don't think they can really help you, but I need them to disappear. Quickly.

Depressio: You just earned yourself an alibi.

Depressio grabs the teeter-totter and walks off. He walks back on

Depressio: I'll take that Slingshot too. Who needs a garbage can when you can just fling stuff out your window?

ACP: That's what I said!

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Cut to goomba, who is talking to Conner. Conner is dressed up like Lucas

goomba: So...uh...can you use PK Fire?

Conner: Um... Probably? It seems like a basic move...

goomba: Right. Well, I'm collecting donations for the "Pole-vault for Candy" program. Can you help me out? I need to get over this one fence that's been hassling me.
Conner: Oh, I think I can probably find some kind of poll somewhere! I can probably rip out one of my support beams with telekinesis! ...probably.

goomba: Well, I'm waiting. You're on the clock.

Conner leaves and comes back two minutes later

Conner: Okay, I got this Olympic-brand Pole. I also prepared this halloween gift basket for you.

Conner presents him a large basket filled with various exotic candies

goomba: Well, I would say thank you, but I feel this insulting employee evaluation card I filled out speaks for itself. (takes the pole from Conner and hands him the card)

Conner: Thank you sir. Pleasure doing business with you!

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Cut to K and Elina. Elina is dressed as Zero-Suit Samus

Elina: Uh...

Stinkoman K: Oh hey. What's that saucy costume supposed to be?

Elina: I'm almost positive we're the same character.

Stinkoman K: Uh, sorry, but no dude would ever wear that. Especially no hardcore bounty hunter.

Elina: I definitely agree with you on that. But seriously, what do you want from me?

Stinkoman K: Well, among other things, I need a jetpack to complete my costume and maybe hop a fence to reach candyopolis.

Elina: The closest thing I have to that is a broken adding machine that caught on fire this one time.

Stinkoman K: Is it still on fire?

Elina: Uh...no...

Stinkoman K: Do you think it could catch fire again?

Elina: Umm...it's possible?

Stinkoman K: Sold!

Elina: ...Seriously. All you need to do is watch the opening scene. You can clearly tell she's a-

Stinkoman K: Okay, catch you later, babe.

Stinkoman K leaves

Elina: Or you could just like...beat the game...
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Cut back to outside of potthole's castle. K, Depressio, and goomba are standing around

Depressio: Alright. Is everyone ready with their own half-baked plan?

goomba: Yeah, I've been thinking about it, and I really don't think I'd be able to gain enough motion to propel myself over the-

Depressio: Hey, nobody asked you for your hypothesis, Bio Lab. Get going.

goomba takes out the pole. He takes a running start towards the gate, stops, and then runs off in the other direction

Stinkoman K: He'll be back. Meanwhile, I'm gonna shove this blowy-uppy thing up my jetpack-hole. Maybe you better grab onto me so we both get over the fence... or die.

Depressio: Yeah, no. You go ahead.

Stinkoman K: Well, here we go.

Stinkoman K enters "2+2" into the adding machine and quickly puts it in the jetpack on the back of his costume. The whole costume explodes and Stinkoman K flies into the air

Stinkoman K: TEAM ME IS WAY TOO COOL AGAAAAAAAAAII-oof! Aw, my costume. Good thing I wore this blue spandex stuff as a backup. Okay, your turn.

Depressio: See, conversely, my plan isn't terrible.

Depressio sets up the teeter-totter. He walks off for a second and comes back holding up a whole pile of bricks

Depressio: (standing on one side of the teetor-totter while holding the bricks) All I have to do is...toss these over to the other side, and I will be launched effortlessly over the fence to Candytopia.

Depressio tosses the bricks to the other side of the teetor totter. Depressio's weight causes them to fly over the fence through one of the castle's windows. An alarm goes off. Depressio turns from side to side and then runs off

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On the next Halloween special…

Depressio ponders his previous plan

Depressio: So…you think if I had used a couple more bricks it would have-

Stinkoman K: Nope.